


To Capture the Tide

by DaisytheDoodleDog



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Bisexual Disaster Sokka (Avatar), Child Abuse, Day At The Beach, Ember Island, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Kataang - Freeform, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), M/M, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Ozai will get what he deserves, Panic Attacks, Past Relationship(s), Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Rich boi Zuko, Slow Burn, Sokka is an amazing cook, Suki is a badass and we stan, Summer Vacation, Underage Drinking, Zukka!, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, because I said so, dancing around feelings, except for Suki and Toph they know what's up, fear of water, past trauma, surfer katara, the gaang adopt zuko, they're all idiots, trigger warning, writer zuko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 80,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisytheDoodleDog/pseuds/DaisytheDoodleDog
Summary: Zuko swore to himself to never like another boy again, he forbade himself from even thinking about it. He was lucky that all he got was the scar on his face the first time he was caught. But that proves to be difficult when his summer at their vacation home on Ember Island is collided with a blue eyed boy and his friends. Suddenly his internal promise fades, but the list of things that prevent him from being happy grows more and more each day. Modern Universe + Zukka!or: Sokka is determined to make Zuko his friend, Zuko's just an angsty writer, Katara is skeptical of everything, Azula wants to destroy Zuko's life to evade her own problems, and Toph just wants to steal
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 226
Kudos: 449
Collections: Love





	1. The Boy with the Ocean Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo!!! Welcome to the first chapter of my new story!!! So I know that I’m still working on Words Mean More at Night, but that will be wrapped up pretty quickly so all my focus will go into this story! With a modern AU sort of thing going on here, I’m super excited to dive into this new world.
> 
> But world of mine would it be without any angst? That’s right people, get ready for angst overload. But also get ready for Sokkasm, bi disasters, badass Katara, beachy snuggles, and best of all, awkward turtle-ducks whose words don’t work for their mouths.
> 
> If you have any ideas that you want to contribute to this story, I would love to hear them! 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chapter One- The Boy With the Ocean Eyes**

Zuko kicked at the tassel on the edge of the rug, watching it flop back down against the polished hardwoods. It was the only thing that entertained him as his father discussed boring politics for the city back home. They were supposed to be getting away from work and school, and life in general for summer vacation. But there was never an escape.

His father's laugh broke through the steady, warm breeze that filtered through the sun room overlooking the private beach. His laugh was grating and full of sadism, making Zuko grimace. His sister laughed next to him, with hers not being any more pleasant.

“Zuko! Look at me when I’m speaking to you!” His father boomed, the laughter cut off. Zuko glanced up at the empty eyes staring him down, hovering over him like a predator stalking its prey. Zuko gulped, not realizing that the conversation had shifted from politics to inevitably the many failures Zuko added to the list of ways he had fucked up.

It was a very long list.

“You’re self-absorbed and so incredibly immature Zuzu! Dad was talking about you.” Azula had a smile on her lips, dangerously sly in it’s brutal meaning. Ozai didn’t disagree or stop her as she said this, causing Zuko to clench his fist.

Escape. Escape. _Escape_.

“May I be excused sir?” Zuko didn’t dare look at his father for too long. A drawn out sigh was let out before his father waved him away and Zuko took off like a bullet. For a sunroom that was supposed to be open and calming, the room had constricted on him, making his face heat up and sending feverish chills down his spine. He winced, feeling a ghost pain up by his eye, but didn’t reach a hand up to soothe the invisible sting. He hated touching it. He hated looking at it. There was a reason he had no mirrors in his bedroom or bathroom.

Zuko crossed over to the other side of the house, finding the back kitchen exit, the steep wooden steps leading down to a small private drive where the servants and cooks parked, as well as the small docks where his father’s four boats sat. He contemplated getting on one of the boats, maybe he could sail right off the edge of the world, but what would be the point? No one’s life would be any different if he disappeared from the face of the earth. No one would notice. He wasn’t sure if that was comforting or not.

So instead, Zuko crossed over into the white sands that burned the bottom of feet as he sunk into each little dune. His pace was slowed by the slosh of sand digging between his toes and pulling him back with each step, but he followed along the top of the beach where the sand dwindled off into grass and curvy boardwalks that would be filled with bikers and dog walkers in the morning. But it was midday now, and the island was being roasted alive by the sun and everyone had retreated to the shade of their vacation homes, and the richest of the rich swam in their upscale pools, because the ocean was far too dirty for them. Zuko knew first hand these types of people, because at some point he was that person. He supposed in some ways he still was, but he certainly had changed. Maybe the scar had changed him, maybe seeing his father for the man he was changed him, or maybe nearly drowning last summer was where things took a turn. He came to the conclusion that it was probably a mix of all those things.

Zuko stared across at the glittering silver waters, feeling the dread of its tide and sick feeling rising up his throat. He never wanted to touch water again. He never wanted to step foot in any lake, river, pool, or ocean ever again. He didn’t dare think about that night last summer, but his sister’s laugh as it happened still plagued his thoughts. Sailing off the edge of the world seemed pretty nice right about now.

He must’ve gotten lost within those thoughts because he had left the private beach and found himself in the “common area,” although the island was upscale and only the wealthy middle class and high class could ever dream of coming to the island. The common area was never really used to much extent, but today it was occupied by a group of kids.

There was a young girl with jet black hair standing in a pit she had dug in the sand, pointing and laughing at a boy with a shaved head. He could distinctly hear their conversation between fits of laughter.

“Toph! I told you not to hit me in _the head_ with the sand! Everywhere else is fair game, but not the head!” The girl, Zuko caught her name as Toph, simply threw her head back as she laughed harder, completely disregarding the boy’s complaints.

“Then move faster, twinkle toes, and I won’t hit you!” The boy scowled at her, before throwing a fistful of sand back. Zuko made a face at them, _immature little brats_ , he thought. But he swallowed down the remark, for he sounded like Azula. He moved his gaze from them to the heavy wave that came surging towards the shore line as the hot wind blew, carrying it over towards the land. Zuko gulped and tried to look away, not wanting to stir up unwanted memories, but a flash of color emerged from under the wave, revealing a young woman.

She was smiling vibrantly as she sank low on the surfboard, her dark brown hair flying behind her. Her hand reached out and met the water, breaking the glittering tide into a foaming streak, guiding her along with the wave, her stability mesmerizing. A quick twist of her heel, the surfboard was tossed to the left as the wave shifted and she was sent in the air. Her laugh rang through the misty air as she landed soundly again on the board, her stance relaxing again as the wave dissipated. She was good. Like _really_ good. Zuko must’ve been staring because a voice behind him made him jump.

“She’s great, right?” Zuko nearly flew out of his skin as he wiped around to meet a boy around his age. The boy’s ponytail was soaked and dripping with the ocean water, the sides cut shorter than the top. He wore a huge smile, one nearly as blinding as the afternoon sun and as bright as the yellow beach towel under his arm. He reached up and squeezed the water from his hair with the towel, and with that, Zuko met his gaze. The boys eyes were something to behold as they rivaled the ocean in their deep blue trance.

Zuko blinked several times, mentally kicking himself for three things. One for being startled, two for not responding right away, and three for thinking about the stupid blue eyes. They were pretty, but if Zuko had had that same thought hours later by himself, he would have punched himself in the stomach.

“That’s my sister, Katara! She won a big surf competition and so she and a group of people oh her choice got to spend the summer on Ember Island.” The boy continued to speak, ignoring the awkwardness that was Zuko. “Do you surf? We’re always looking for someone to surf with us! I’m good but not good like my sister. It’s like she can bend the water. So I kind of get bored going out on the water with her, she’s way too good for my amateur skills, but I could always use a buddy.”

Zuko opened his mouth to speak, but the boy cut him off again.

“It’s just us out here on Ember Island, we’ve never been, but so far it's been pretty nice. We got this cool condo place with a cook and maid and everything! I’ve never not done chores before and it's great! Is this your first time on the island? Probably not, most of the people here have like- a gazillion dollars! But it is what it is as my friend, Aang, over there always says. Oh… wait you never answered my question. You surf?” Zuko gritted his teeth at the boy, his annoyingly drawn out conversation ten times longer than zuko wanted it to be. He realized it wasn’t even a conversation. The boy was the only one who had been talking, and it was getting on Zuko’s nerves. Zuko hissed, clenching his fists tightly.

“No. I don’t surf.” The boy with the ocean eyes looked up, his smile fading, but not forming a frown, instead his lips just curled at the corners in a surprised grin.

“Oh, so you do speak. Well-”

“You didn’t exactly give me time to open my mouth!” The boy narrowed his eyes. The boy must’ve understood his chatterbox tendencies, but he didn’t seem to care much, as he opened his mouth to speak again.

“Hey man, what’s got your panties in a bunch? I was just asking a-”

“Who do you even think you are? Can’t you see I want nothing to do with you or _your people._ ” Now the boy looked really pissed. Zuko was sounding like Azula, but he his temper made his brain incapable of thinking before speaking.

“Wow. Okay, then why don’t you get off the common area with the filthy peasants and go back to your private beach and dig yourself a nice sandpit to hell!” With a sharp kick of sand, kicking the hot grains across Zuko’s shins, the boy huffed out bitterly and stomped off. He only turned back once to see Zuko flip him off.

With a growl, Zuko turned, and got as far away from the annoying blue-eyed boy as he could. Maybe, in retrospect, Zuko shouldn’t have snapped, should’ve watched his temper, but as he kicked at the pebbles, he didn’t regret anything. The boy had lost his temper at him too, it wasn’t all one-sided. Zuko mumbled to himself, stuffing his hands into his pockets and getting far away from his mansion atop the hill, far away from the private beaches, and far, far away from the common area with the petulant ocean-eyed boy and his annoying, fatuous little friends.

For a second, Zuko faltered, realizing he never got “ocean-eyes” name. He shook his head, pretending he didn’t care.

〜⛭〜

This was the best summer of Sokka’s life. They had just arrived two days prior and already he could stay on the beach forever. It sure as hell beat the year round bitter chill of his hometown. The waves were always cold there, and in the winter the tides would freeze in big abstract pieces of art when they crashed against the shore line and froze immediately by the whooping wind and dangerous temperatures. When you passed the sheets of ocean ice, there seemed to be no end to the depths of winter and darkness. But even when the first signs of spring came through as tough little snowdrops peeking through the snow banks, the winter still held its firm grip.

It never held a tight enough grip on Katara though. She was out surfing the very second the sea ice drifted away, and it paid off. The warmth of Ember Island was like nothing Sokka had ever experienced. When Katara had won that competition, the grand prize had been a summer getaway at the famous island, with a fancy condo that came with a cook and maid and everything, price covered for the whole summer. Katara had immediately gathered her friends, and told them to pack their bags.

So that’s how 20 year old Sokka found himself on the most wealthy island in the whole nation, with no parents, his sister, and their misfit friends. Sokka kept waiting for a hurricane or some other form of uproar to occur, stirring Sokka from this dream-like place.

“Hey Sokka! Quit day-dreaming and get your butt over here!” Toph called, as she vigorously dug a massive trench in the sand to protect her from the sand war between Aang and her. Sokka groaned, not really wanting to get full of sand, as he had happily busied himself with staring at a bunch of volleyball players across the shore. He saw Suki there, the setter of course. She had been coming to the island every summer for volleyball tournaments since she was twelve.  
Sokka stood from his beach chair and stretched, watching Katara swim further and further from the shore, her blue board gliding over the light toss of waves.

“Toph I’m not helping you and Aang throw sand at each other. I don’t like sand getting-” He shuddered. “Everywhere.” Toph laughed, letting sand run in between her fingers.

“I guess you’re just scared I’m gonna hit you and blind you with sand grains. But I don’t have that disadvantage, I'm already blind!” Sokka grunted, leaving her and Aang to bicker on the beach and moved towards the foamy greeting of the ocean. He let the water wash over his feet, taking off the sand sticking to his ankles. The tide pulled away and so he followed it, deeper and deeper into the glowing water unit the sandy floor left him and he let the light current pull him out.

“Hey Sokka, watch out!” Katara shouted as the wave she had been on fizzled out but sent her board shooting out at Sokka, causing him to duck under the water mere seconds before the board could hit him in the head. Sokka came up for air, spitting water and shaking his head.

“Katara!” She giggled and sat down on the board, reaching out to grab Sokka’s hand, shakily pulling him up.

“Do you want to grab your board?” She paused for a second, sticking a finger in the air to feel the movement of wind. “There’s some big waves coming, I can feel it.” Sokka struggled to stay on the surfboard, wobbling and keeping his arms out for balance.

“Nah. You always make me look like an idiot.” Katara gave him the ‘don’t say that look,’ but she accepted his decline, and slid off the board, swimming towards shore, tugging the board and Sokka along with her.

The second Sokka’s feet touched the sand, he was out of the water and waving a quick goodbye to Katara who surged back out to sea, waiting to catch another wave. He trudged up to the edge of the sand, grabbing his towel, but stopped when he saw a boy he didn’t recognize.

The boy must’ve been about his age, but was far paler than Sokka, with a lean build and a shrunken persona about him. Like he was trying not to be seen, trying to disappear. But by the look of his shorts, fancy button down shirt, and Ray-Bans sunglasses tucked in the breast pocket, he was one of the wealthy residents that had a home on the island. That didn’t mean he wasn’t nice though, Sokka supposed as he crossed over to him.

“She’s great, right?” Sokka called out, upon noticing the boy staring at his sister who had successfully tamed another wave in the distance. The boy was clearly not expecting Sokka and jumped, his whole body flinching. Sokka was taken aback, but wasn’t discouraged by the accidental startling.

“That’s my sister, Katara! She one a big surf competition and so she and a group of people she chooses gets to spend the summer on Ember Island.” Sokka liked to brag about his sister’s surfing skills, it made him proud. The boy didn’t seem disinterested, but he held an ‘about to erupt like a volcano’ expression to him. Sokka continued, hoping that maybe a friendly face would make the boy smile. Sokka had a feeling that his sulking demeanor was his default expression. “Do you surf? We’re always looking for someone to surf with us! I’m good but not good like my sister. It’s like she can bend the water. So I kind of get bored going out on the water with her, she’s way too good for my amateur skills, but I could always use a buddy.”

Sokka wasn’t going to surf. He didn’t feel like doing all the work of swimming out into the ocean today, unless it was floating with the current. So he wasn’t sure what made him ask, other than it looked like the guy could use a friend. Sokka tilted his head, trying to catch a glimpse of the boy’s eyes through his overgrown bangs. He did catch a glint of golden color, and on one side, a burn that stretched across his eye and over to his ear. Sokka didn’t think twice about the scar, but realized his staring at it wasn’t doing any good at being friendly. Sokka continued to speak, noticing that the boy appeared to be quiet and Sokka didn’t want him to feel like he had to speak, although he admitted though that he could be a tad bit overwhelming.

“It’s just us out here on Ember Island, we’ve never been, but so far it's been pretty nice. We got this cool condo place with a cook and maid and everything! I’ve never not done chores before and it's great! Is this your first time on the island? Probably not, most of the people here have like- a gazillion dollars! But it is what it is as my friend, Aang, over there always says. Oh… wait you never answered my question. You surf?” The boy seemed frustrated with Sokka, making him realize he had talked too much and had gotten carried away like he usually did.

“No. I don’t surf.” Sokka’s large smile fell into a gentle grin. Sure he was a little disappointed that the guy didn’t surf, but Sokka had gotten a few words out of him, and his voice was rough, like he had slept in too late and now felt a groggy.

“Oh, so you do speak. Well-”

“You didn’t exactly give me time to open my mouth!” Sokka narrowed his eyes. He knew he could be a chatterbox, but the boy had snapped at him, immediately giving Sokka a cautious impression. But since when was Sokka cautious when his emotions were stirred up? Especially when it came to anger.

“Hey man, what’s got your panties in a bunch? I was just asking a-” Sokka was cut off.

“Who do you even think you are? Can’t you see I want nothing to do with you or _your people._ ” Now Sokka was really pissed. His people? Sokka knew he wasn’t rich, sure his family had struggled with financials in the past, but that didn’t make him any less.. Any less _anything_! Sokka snorted, letting his short patience fuse and snapping back.

“Wow. Okay, then why don’t you get off the common area with the filthy peasants and go back to your private beach and dig yourself a nice sandpit to hell!” With a sharp kick of sand, Sokka kicked up the grains against the boy’s shins, and turned on his heels, growling with rage. _Stupid, stuck-up rich kid._

Sokka looked over his shoulder one last time, although he wasn’t sure why, maybe something about the boy was intriguing, mysterious even, and Sokka did love a good mystery. But the boy flipped him off and that was the end of it. He sat down near Aang who was busy wiping sand from his face, and tried to forget about the whole interaction. Suddenly, Sokka felt like he wasn’t a part of anything here on the island. Suddenly he felt as if the tide would surge at him, snag him by the ankle and pull him under to where he belonged.


	2. Lonely Ships that Pass in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka and Zuko run into each other on the beach after one particular bad night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s up bitches and welcome to chapter 2!!!! I don’t have much for notes here, other than whatever emotions Zuko has in this chapter is based on kind of my own anxiety. While I don’t have depression, sometimes anxiety can leave me feeling helpless and alone, which is sort of what I’m trying to show with Zuko. 
> 
> If anyone has any input, I would love to hear it! Also little ideas going forward in this story are greatly welcomed!
> 
> Let’s jump into it!

**Chapter Two- Lonely Ships that Pass in the Night**

Sokka couldn’t put together the words that Suki was saying to him, even if she said it clear as a bell. He choked a little on the soda he was drinking, turning to her with wide eyes.

“What?!” Suki sighed and scooted away from him on the beach blanket that matched the cascade of oranges that met the sun as it dipped below the horizon. She unfolded herself, stretching her legs across the sand and shook her head at Sokka’s zoned out expression

“Sokka, I think we should break up.” She reiterated, making sure Sokka could process her words this time. Sokka should have seen this coming, but still, it hurt. He rested his soda can in the sand and blinked, trying to wrap his head around it all. Sokka bit his lip, choosing to be quiet for a moment. The only word that went through his head was _why,_ but as he looked up at the sky, searching for guidance from the moon, he got his _answer_ to why.

“I want to ask why but…” Sokka glanced back up at the silver moon becoming more and more apparent in the darkening sky.

“I really like you Sokka, and I know you feel the same. I know that we have a blast together, but-”

“But I’m still stuck on Yue.” Suki bit her lip and nodded in agreement. Sokka folded himself up, tucking his knees to his chest and using them to rest his chin. He closed his eyes and pictured her. Those silver eyes and white hair, crisper than that first snow in November. He opened his eyes and saw Suki.

Suki was beautiful, smart, and best of all, badass. The girl had more leather jackets in her closet than Sokka could count, and when he said she could kick his ass, he _meant_ it. And it was true that they had some great times. Nights of obtaining alcohol, pranking each other, ski trips, they did it all. And Sokka never laughed so hard in his life when he was with her. He loved Suki. But every time he closed his eyes and kissed her, a small voice in the back of his head yelled at him for his betrayal. And sometimes, when he opened his eyes, for just a second, it was Yue staring back at him. 

“I want you to know that I understand. I’m not angry, saddened by it, of course, but I understand. When you lose someone like that-” Sokka held up his hand, cutting her off. He did not want to think about, much less talk about it. He glanced up at the halfmoon and felt his lip tremble. Yue had loved the moon. It made Sokka love the moon. But now when he looked up at the night sky, all he saw, was her. It was both a pleasant and horrible reminder. Sokka grounded himself by feeling the sand under his feet and sighed.

“I love you.” Sokka said, not in a way to try and keep her, not to make her guilty, but to make her understand that he truly cherished the time he spent with her. She smiled sadly, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek.

“I know you do. You and I, we’ll be partners in crime forever, we just weren’t, meant to be.” It was the most simplistic way to describe their relationship and their future and Sokka couldn’t help but feel just the slightest bit hopeful. She stood and ruffled his hair which was already falling loose from his wolf tail. 

“Just promise me you won't let Yue hold you down forever. She would want you to explore the world and find someone as bright as the sun.” Sokka thought about her words, he would have easily admitted to her that he would think about those words for months to come, but he simply wouldn’t actively listen to her advice. “I’ll see you in the morning. I’ve got practice, but I’d love it if you’d swing by.” Sokka sent her a soft smile. 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Then she turned, and left. Her figure got smaller and smaller as her shadow disappeared and she was nothing more than small footprints in the sand. Sokka knew that they didn’t work in a romantic relationship, hell, he’d probably always known to some extent. It didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt like a bitch.

〜⛭〜

Zuko didn’t look in the mirror. He desperately needed to in order to tend to the large mark on the side of his neck. He sat on the floor of his closet, his phone flashlight on its lowest setting, but still emitting enough light so Zuko could patch up his neck. There wasn’t much for first aid at the vacation home, so Zuko had to make due with a few gauze pads and scotch tape. He winced, running his fingers over the mark, deep purple bruises quickly forming over his pale skin, especially surrounding the small cut that oozed blood. His father hadn’t meant to cut him, that was just an accident. His father had meant to hit him though. He meant it with each strike, and Zuko actually thought he deserved it.

He shouldn’t have spoken out about the poverty rates in Ba Sing Se. His father couldn’t have cared less about the poor, or the conditions the outer city held. But Zuko had seen it first hand. And while he was only there a handful of weeks, he distinctly remembered the smells, the sick and homeless. He remembered the complete lack of food and how he had never been so hungry in his whole life. He especially recalled those freezing nights where there was nothing but an overpass to huddle under.

His father had kicked him out of the house his junior year of highschool. Zuko was sure his father had his reasons, but there were so many things Zuko had done wrong and so many punishments from his father, that they all began to mold together. His father had granted him access back into the family a few weeks later, although the reason Ozai brought him home was still unclear.

But he really shouldn’t have said a word at dinner. And now he was sitting on the floor of his closet, hiding from his father, his sister, and most importantly, he was hiding from himself. 

Zuko held back a moan as he pressed rubbing alcohol to the wound. Blood gushed out over zuko’s hand, and he quickly wiped it away and taped the gauze on to the area. He had patched himself up before, his pain tolerance growing immensely from each beating, but still, everything hurt. 

Zuko felt like sailing off the edge of the world again. And for a second, he really truly pondered it. But then he found himself standing and leaving his room and suddenly the only place he knew to escape to was the beach. So when Azula wasn’t patrolling the halls like a prison guard, he slipped downstairs and out the back kitchen door, down the creaky wooden steps and ran through the perfectly cut grass to the edge of the lawn where the sand was swept up and the dunes formed little mountains for the crabs. Zuko’s bare feet hit the sand and he started to run. He wasn’t sure where he was going, or how far he would go, but he let the breath in his lungs die out and his shins pound with pain as he just ran. His eyes became blurry with tears, but he ignored it, letting the glow of the moon guide him down the beach, away from the water, but still close enough that made him feel just the slightest bit uneasy. 

There wasn’t supposed to be anyone on the beach, but him. It was late, and even the bars in town were of closing time, so no one should have been out. But there was a figure several paces ahead, walking slowly next to the tide, letting the water wash over his feet. Zuko, who had seen enough Criminal Minds to make him just the slightest bit nervous, looked behind him, thinking about turning back, but then he thought about his father… a potential serial killer sounded much better.

Zuko slowed his pace wanting to reserve his energy in the off chance that the figure was a serial killer and he needed to get the hell out of there, but as he approached the figure wasn’t quite as menacing as he originally made it out to be. In fact, the figure was nothing more than a boy sulking by the ocean, hands shoved in his pockets and head hanging low. Curiosity got the best of Zuko as he came closer, stopping to check up on the stranger.

“Hey, are you alright?” The boy turned to face him and Zuko almost outwardly groaned. Of course it was the stupid boy with the ocean eyes. “Oh it’s you.” He huffed out, but he saw the boy’s glistening eyes, the same expression Zuko held on his own face not ten minutes ago. Zuko’s hardened look softened.

“Oh great. Mister stick-in-the-mud is the last thing I need.” Sokka shooed him off turning away and marching down the shore. Zuko’s head snapped up as he charged after him.

“Wait!” Zuko jumped in front of him. “Wait. I’m… I’m sorry about earlier. And about now.” Zuko added, hoping his seemingly half-hearted apology would do something. It wasn’t half-hearted, but everything he said always came out that way. The boy with the ocean eyes took his words in and nodded.

“It’s whatever.” _It didn’t feel like whatever._ “I shouldn’t have told you to go to hell.” The boy said quietly with a shrug. Then Zuko laughed.

Zuko hadn’t laughed since his mother died. And that was a long time ago. He didn’t even remember what his laugh sounded like, and it was just of a surprise to him as it was to the ocean-eyed boy. It wasn't a happy laugh though, he laughed, because he deserved it, and the sadness in the back of its tone is what startled both of them more than anything. Zuko cut himself off quickly though, his lips curling into a frown again. 

“I deserved it.” The boy tilted his head, but didn’t say anything.

“Start over?” The boy asked, holding out his hand. Zuko didn’t take it. He didn’t like touching other people. Or other people touching him for that matter. Even a handshake seemed horrifying to think about. Zuko gulped, and nodded once.

“I’m Sokka.” The boy waited patiently for Zuko to take his hand, but accepted that it wasn’t going to happen and tucked his hand back in his shorts pocket. _The rich kid probably didn’t want to shake hands with a peasant._ Sokka didn’t mean to think like that, but he couldn’t help it as the thought popped into his head.

“Zuko.” Zuko responded. There was a moment of silence, awkward silence really, but it was more comforting than wandering the beach alone.

“You never answered my question.” Zuko said finally, mocking Sokka’s comment from the day before. Sokka shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it with a complete stranger, but who else was he going to talk to, the moon?

“I broke up with my girlfriend.” That was _not_ what Zuko expected him to say. Mainly he was surprised Sokka actually answered. If Sokka had asked him the same question, he would have completely ignored it. Something about ocean eye’s- Sokka’s transparency was captivating. Almost as captivating as those eyes.

Zuko pinched the skin on his wrist so hard it turned white and sent a fiery pain up his nerves as his body signaled to him to stop. He scowled at himself, pinching himself harder in return. He was not to think about those eyes again.

“Oh that’s… rough buddy?” Sokka raised his eyebrows at the response and snorted.

“Yeah… I mean I kind of saw it coming. It still hurts like a bitch. She’s really great though and deserves somebody who will really love her.” Sokka kicked at the thick sand, wet from the retreating tide. Zuko moved several feet away, keeping his distance from the water.

“How long were you two together?” Zuko asked nervously, not sure how to push the conversation with a practical stranger. Sokka now kicked at the water letting it fly up and splash his shorts.

“About six months. She’s the first girl I’ve dated since-” Sokka cut himself off. Why in the _everloving fuck_ was he about to tell this literal stranger that his girlfriend died and he hadn’t yet gotten over it and oh god, he was getting emotional about it. Sokka could feel his eyes well up and he knew that Zuko could tell because of the innocent gaze that he gave him, and that made Sokka want to cry even more.

“You’ve lost someone.” Zuko finished for him. “I know the look.” Sokka looked up at him in complete shock. Zuko didn’t hold a sympathetic expression, which Sokka found reliving. He hated pity. “I’ve lost people too. ”

“Like, what a fancy pony?” Sokka tried to joke, but it failed, epically. Zuko’s face fell more, which apparently _was_ possible. Sokka nearly slapped himself, because, _shut the fuck up Sokka, you giant dumbass!_

“My mother.” Sokka stopped walking. He looked up and found a pair of brown eyes he hadn’t been able to see clearly before. They were rich, with specs of gold in the other rim of the iris, catching the glow of the moon, shattering the night sky into fragments of stars. Sokka shook his head out of his daze, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh I’m sorry… I didn’t mean, geez I’m an ass… I lost my mother too.” Zuko’s eyes widened, taking in the ocean eyed boy who was so different in the day. Under the sun’s light, Sokka appeared to be all smiles and friendly, full of jokes and an abundance of energy, a personality that hit people like tsunamis. But now, long after midnight, Sokka’s muscles were tense and he seemed to bury himself in the shadows of the night. As overwhelming as 'day-time Sokka' was, Zuko preferred that Sokka better.

What the fuck? Zuko had known this boy for not more than an hour, and already his impressions about him -he was observant, he’d give himself that- were in such detail, it was like he had known him his entire life. Zuko was ready to lay down on the beach and scream out to the ocean for hours. He nervously went to rub his neck but stopped at the swollen pain coming from his right side. He had almost forgotten about what happened only two hours before. He moved a little farther away from Sokka, who had found himself shin-deep in the water, wading through the impossible darkness.

“I’m sorry about your mom.”

“I’m sorry about your mom too.” 

Silence brought them together. It was nice to walk among the sand without a word being carried by the breeze now cool to the touch. There was no noise other than the ocean, and that was tuned out. Sokka pulled his hands from his shorts and lifted his shoulders. Zuko had let himself drift a little closer to the shore. He was still several feet from the incoming tide, but he felt slightly more at ease. A horn in the distance caused them to lift their heads. A small boat drifting near the blended horizon, called out to the lonely wanders, navigators of the moon, and seekers of purpose. Zuko knew the boat was signaling to some other ship in the distance, of which Zuko could not see, but he could imagine for a second that the boat was calling to him.

Sokka spoke up again, his voice hushed as if telling some ancient secret.

“I lost my girlfriend Yue about a year and a half ago. She was the most stunning girl on the planet. And the kindest soul I’d ever met. She made me into the best person I could be, and I owe her… everything.” Zuko lifted his head and let himself focus on Sokka’s eyes as he talked. Zuko’s breath hitched in his throat. _Sokka had gone through pain like him._ Zuko never knew he could meet another person who shared a slice of his pain, or understand his story. Not that he would ever talk about his life story or the pain that came with it.

“Yue gave up her life to save another. There was a fire, and there was an older woman still trapped inside. Yue ran in to save her. A-a-and the woman was saved… Yue…” Sokka heaved for air, not daring to finish the sentence, even if his mind was screaming it anyway. “I guess my now ex saw that I still wasn’t over it.”

“I don’t know if you’ll ever be over it.” Zuko shrugged with all honesty. Sokka widened his eyes, but was pleasantly surprised by not having the stupid fake empathy that people gave him, like, “You’ll move on one day” or “I know its hard now.” Sokka made a face directed at those people, but Zuko caught it.

“I- I’m sorry. But I hate when people say “everything will be okay,” because I lost my mother years ago and it still hurts as much as that first day.” Sokka’s eyes crinkled with understanding and just the slightest flicker of light.

“I hate when people do that too. That’s why I made the face. You are the first person to give it to me straight. I can’t move on.” Sokka looked up at the moon and frowned. If he stared up at the sky for too long, he knew that he was going to cry. He quickly wiped his eyes and looked back down at the water floating in foamy waves around his knees. Zuko nervously backed away.

Sokka studied the boy, who at first seemed like nothing but a snobby rich kid who had no soul. Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration, but that wasn’t the point. The point was, that somebody other than his sister, truly understood his pain. He could see the hurt in Zuko’s golden eyes, but there was something else there. Anger? Definitely, but that seemed to be dialed back. Fear? That was what it was. Undeniably fear. Sokka couldn’t pinpoint the source of that fear, but the way it seemed to shackle Zuko to the ground was concerning. Sokka looked him up and down and caught the gauze pad on his neck. That hadn’t been there when he met him yesterday. Sokka moved out of the water, narrowing his eyes at the covered wound and saw the scotch tape used to hold the bandage all together. He furrowed his eyebrows. Surely someone as rich as Zuko could afford proper first aid supplies.

“What happened to your neck? Would you like me to look-”

“Nothing! No!” Zuko snapped, flinching and turning away. Sokka moved closer but Zuko jumped out of the way, raising his arms and practically _growling_. Sokka glared.

“I just find you on the beach, clearly upset, and I pour out my life story and you won’t tell me what even happened to your stupid neck?! What the hell dude?” The pure look of terror on Zuko’s face was enough to make Sokka shiver. He had never seen sure fear clouding someone’s eyes, never seen someone flinch the way he did, or rush to protect his face.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped. I won’t push you to say anything, really. It’s just been a frustrating night. But… If you do want to talk about it, like ever, you can talk to me.” Sokka’s face fell, but Zuko still glanced about for an escape. Realizing that his father was nowhere in sight and neither was his home, he let out an exhausted sigh. Maybe, just maybe he’d take Sokka up on that talk. But not now, later. Much, _much_ , later. That was, if Sokka was still around.

“Where can I find you?” Zuko finally responded.

“I guess you’ll just have to come to the common area and get your hands dirty with the peasants to find me.” Sokka smirked, the smile a gentle reminder of the light to come at dawn. Zuko shook his head.

“I don’t think of you or your friends as that. I’m sorry about my earlier comment.” Sokka punched him lightly in the shoulder. Zuko didn’t flinch.

“Well I still think of you as a spoiled rich kid, so I guess you’re gonna have to come find me and prove me wrong.” Sokka said with a growing grin. Zuko nodded stiffly.

“Okay then.” Sokka yawned, gave one last glance up at the sky and bid Zuko goodnight. Zuko didn’t respond, but the tiny curl at the corner of his lips told Sokka all he needed to know. A quick wave, and Sokka began walking the other direction, down to the smaller condos out for rent that peacefully sat near the shore with their little gardens and palm trees swaying in the midnight breeze.

Zuko was left alone on the beach, smiling to himself. He looked out to the long stretch of water and saw two small boats, passing each other in the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a way to end, and so begins the long road that is angst and pain! Whoop whoop! All good things come with time, our boys will be happy, and once the gang discover zuko’s past, you better believe they’re gonna go kick some ass. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	3. The Jasmine Dragon and Iron Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko takes Sokka to the Jasmine Dragon, Aang plans a date for Katara, and Azula is introduced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s chapter 3! I did say slow burn, didn’t I. Well I hate to break it to you, but we might go back to square one her with our boys. I’m so sorry it took me so long to post this, I was on vacation (without internet, oh what a joy that was) and then I just had absolutely no idea how to write this chapter, but I think I figured something out??? 
> 
> Bit of trigger warning here! References to anxiety and self-hate, the story will have far more detailed problems relating to mental health later, but the unravelings of that will slowly start here. Let me know if I capture anything incorrectly or have a different insight for me, as I am simply going off of how my own head works sometimes. Also, Zuko is now a write, because I say so.
> 
> Oh yes, and Iroh… and Azula!!! Because I stan her and I’m giving her a whole storyline now. I hope its okay, and I apologize for any grammar errors, for some reason neither my laptop or writing app is picking up spell check and while I am editing this, my eyes don't catch everything.
> 
> Enjoy and comments are loved!!!

**Chapter Three- The Jasmine Dragon and The Iron Wolf**

It was one week before Zuko saw Sokka again. It wasn’t because of his father’s expectations of a perfect son that forced him to stay at the house and take summer classes online, or practice the piano that his father would never see him perform. It was simply a choice. He had to completely forget about Sokka, so that maybe, when he saw him again, the ocean blue eyes wouldn’t distract him.

Zuko knew what would happen to him if he didn’t.

So two days after him and Sokka had talked, Zuko made a list; a list of ways to stay away from Sokka. 

-Piano Practice

-Online classes

-Fencing with Azula

-Start working at the Jasmine Dragon

Zuko created his list, but as he stared at it, his eyes straining by the light of his phone in the dark, he couldn't help but make a mental list of the reasons to see Sokka.

_ -He’s nice. _

_ -His eyes are very blue _

_ -He’s sarcastic _

_ -Friend??? _

Zuko hated the two lists and how horribly they contradicted each other. But Zuko only listened to what he put down in his notes app, switched off his phone, and fell asleep, dreaming about nothing.

The week passed by incredibly slowly, especially since he couldn’t find anything to pass the time, other than being a victim of his sister's verbal abuse and shaking off her two friends, who drove him crazy. He hid in his room most of the time, disappearing from reality by burying himself in books. He kept his room dark and his door closed as if to pretend no one was inside, maybe deceiving his father and sister. But as much as he tried to focus on his books, or writing little short stories that he’d never  _ ever  _ share, his mind drifted back to Sokka.

It was five days since Zuko had seen Sokka when he decided to write a story about him. Not in a creepy, stalker way, he told himself admently. He just wanted to write a story with some as charismatic as Sokka was. He pulled out one of his many notebooks from the back of his closet, far away from Azula’s reach and hidden under the wood floor board. He flipped it open to a clean page and began to scribble down the roughest form of a story.

_ (New Story)  _

_ Chapter 1 - ?? _

_ The scent of pine trees was distantly familiar to the boy with the ocean eyes, but it had been years since the smell had come to his senses. The mountains created a jagged horizon, screaming of a home he did not remember. He stuck his head out the window, his ponytail falling loose by the whipping wind as the car moved through the mountain pass.  _

_ The boy with ocean eyes had a name. He knew his name, and it was comforting to hear someone call it- what was not comforting was not knowing the face that belonged to the voices calling for him. _

_ There wasn’t much that ocean eyed boy remembered. The accident was responsible for that, but he only recalled bits and pieces, filled with searing white hot pain, and loud pops of metal. He refused to try and reach any further memory of the accident... _

Zuko paused, having absolutely no idea where he was going with the story. He always did this, he’d start some new complex story with absolutely no plot, or thought out characters, or setting, nothing but a vague idea that set him off.

If you had asked anybody, they would have said Zuko was a fantastic writer, but of course, you couldn't ask anyone, because nobody had ever seen a piece of Zuko’s work. Zuko himself, hated his work, but he kept plugging away at it, for it was his escape, his way of creating a world where he didn’t exist.

Throughout the week, Zuko found himself coming back to the story, putting more investment into the random idea, then he normally did, so much so, that it practically filled the rest of his journal by the end of the week. He would have to go out and get another journal and he wasn’t sure how he was going to pay for it -his father never gave him a credit card like Azula- but he  _ had  _ to continue the story. But without any extra pages to scribble down the rough draft to his story, he had to leave his room at some point. So on the seventh day since he’d seen Sokka, he emerged, glancing down the hallways for Azula who he desperately tried to avoid at all times, and hurried out the back entrance of the house and down towards the beach.

Unfortunately or fortunately, -Zuko internally battled with himself between the two- he had been standing on the edge of the grass that died off into the white sand, not really knowing why he was there, when he saw a familiar face sprinting across the beach, hands in the air, laugh filling the whole shore with a brilliant glow. Zuko almost smiled, but he was quick to stop himself.

“Hey! Zuko!” Sokka screamed, his grin growing into a wide smile as he breathlessly charged at him. Zuko raised his hand to wave, but he quickly realized that Sokka’s footprints were reminders of the private beach he was not allowed to trespass on. Zuko’s eyes widened, flinching at just the thought of his father finding out some  _ commoner  _ was on his land. Zuko instead pushed himself from the edge of the yard and let his feet burn against the sand as he ran to Sokka. 

For a second, Sokka thought Zuko would hug him by the way he approached, but then Zuko nearly tackled him to the ground -and not in the cute way- pulling him roughly off the shore and onto the empty boardwalk that was considered public property.

“You can’t do that!” Zuko hissed, running his fingers through his hair.

“It’s nice to see you too.” Sokka rubbed his head and glared, but his expression disintegrated into a confused pinch of his nose. “Wait, can’t do what?”

“Walk on that part of the beach! You have no idea what-” Sokka’s eyebrows arched in a playfully offended glare, one that Zuko did not take as the joke it was intended to be. 

“Oh I see. I’m still to “peasanty” for you.” Sokka scoffed, but Zuko frantically jumped up.

“No! No, that’s not what I mean. I-”

“Relax,” Sokka grumbled, sweeping the sand off himself and redoing his wolfs tail. “I was just surprised that I haven’t seen you in a week, so I went to wander the beach and see if you lived in this area. It’s the bouchiest part of the island, so I figured-”

“I… I live in that house. For the summer anyway. And I’m sorry for overreacting! my father- he’s not exactly accepting of …” Sokka narrowed his eyes.

“Peasants?”

“Stop referring to yourself as that. My father doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Sokka’s expression didn’t change.

“Then how come you’ve been ignoring me all week?” Zuko began to stutter over his words, trying not to think about the list in his phone, but it always came screaming to mind.

“I-I-I… Sorry. I’ve been… busy.”

“It’s summer vacation.” Sokka refuted. Nothing could get past him, and that made Zuko’s blood boil. He settled himself with a grumble.

“I work at my Uncle’s Tea shop all summer. It’s very busy.” Sokka opened his mouth to argue, but the answer was reasonable enough and so Sokka shut himself up.

“Well… You’re not working now… We could go swimming-”

“NO! No, I don’t really  _ like  _ water.”

“You’re literally on a beach-”

“How about I show you my Uncles cafe instead?” Zuko spat out in a desperate search for an excuse, anything to get away from the ocean topic, and the even more awkward topic of Zuko practically tackling Sokka to the ground in an attempt to save both of their asses. Not that he could explain the risky move to Sokka. They may have understood each other’s pain, but Zuko was nowhere near ready to discuss his father. Sokka seemed satisfied with the answer and waited patiently for Zuko to stand and lead him to the tea shop.

A lot of things were going through Sokka’s mind. The most prominent being,  _ who the actual hell is Zuko’s father? _ Sokka felt his face heat up with rage, although he easily blamed it on the mid-morning sun and his fingers curled into his palms, his nails digging into his skin as an attempt to ground himself. Something felt very off about Zuko, especially by the way he said  _ father _ . Then Sokka thought about the fear in Zuko’s eyes that night, nearly a week ago. It gave Sokka a sick feeling in his stomach that rose up his esophagus only to settle back down as a heavy weight on his chest. Something was off indeed, but the worst part? There was nothing Sokka could do or say.

〜⛭〜

  
  


“I’m gonna cook a romantic dinner!” Aang declared, pumping his fist in the air with excitement. Suki and Toph looked up from their very intense game of cards, the corners bedazzled with little gems that made up the braille code so Toph could see. (Sokka had come up with the idea years ago, because he’d be damned if Toph was unable to play poker with him). The girls stared at Aang, who stood on top of the coffee table, completely unamused. 

“Cook? You made scrambled eggs two nights ago and what did you do?” Toph snorted, pulling up the cringy memory of dinner a few nights before. Aang growled at her, but answered honestly, realizing his “brilliant idea” was only good in theory. He hung his head as he sighed.

“I put Momo’s catnip instead of pepper in it.” He groaned as Toph fell back into the chair laughing, tossing her cards up into the air.

“Man if you think you can pull off Katara's favorite meals, that’ll be a goddamn miracle.” Suki collapsed to the ground, clutching her stomach as she and Toph laughed.

“Yeah, Aang!” Suki pulled herself up and propped her head on her elbow. “I mean, have you seen some of the traditional dishes Sokka makes for her? They’re hardcore.” Aang’s head snapped up, a grin spreading across his face.

“... Maybe I can ask Sokka! He’s a fantastic cook and he knows all the traditional meals that Katara loves. But I can plan all the specifics, he can just do the actual cooking.” Toph gagged and stood. Suki nodded enthusiastically, sitting up and gathering all of Toph’s braille cards into a neat pile.

“That’s actually not a bad idea. As long as Sokka says yes.” Aang’s grin was full of determination, and Suki couldn’t argue with the kid’s ability to cajole people into his little schemes. They were never like Toph’s scams, or Suki and Sokka’s midnight shoplifting of beer at the convenience stores, they always seemed to be wholehearted, but still, Aang knew how to persuade people. Toph and Suki exchanged another round of teases and giggles, which Aang gladly tuned out as he waved them off, and hurried towards the kitchen, planning out a night with Katara.

〜⛭〜

  
  


Sokka had yet to explore the downtown area of Ember Island, the pier’s festival and lining shops being something that he could only see from a distance. But by the pristine whistle pillars and perfectly organized shops all filled with the most expensive of brand names, he knew the twenty dollars in his wallet wouldn’t get him very far. He marveled at the new surroundings, pausing to press his face against the glass of every storefront, presenting their best summer fashions, freshest bakery goods, and most expensive of jewelry, glistening in the peaking sun. Zuko seemed to get bored of Sokka’s meandering quickly, urging him along the pavement towards the building at the end of the lane with a view of the sea port and massive ferris wheel that towered over the rest of the Ember Island’s festival. It would be there for the next month or so, but it wasn’t the cheap carnivals that would be found on the mainland, the ones that Sokka always saved up for, just so he could take his sister. The festival on Ember Island was more of a talent show, of sorts, filled with an annual pageant, the volleyball tournament, and bidding wars, where rare items would be sold and add to the value of wealthy homes in the area.

Zuko himself had never been to the festival, he was never one to like such large crowds, the noise and movement overwhelming. And since his… scar, those sorts of stimulation only freaked him out more, with his whole left side vulnerable to anyone in that general vicinity. Zuko didn’t much like the crowded streets of the boardwalk either, the shiny lights, straining his eyes and the senseless chatter of the tourists made his eardrums ring irritably. 

“Hurry up Sokka!” Zuko reached out to snatch Sokka’s arm, but quickly retracted.  _ No.  _ He wasn’t allowed to, not even in a friendly way.

Sokka whipped around, a lopsided grin growing as he pointed to a store sign.

“Can we go in there after? There was this pencil case in there and it was amazing! I have to go back and get it!” Sokka threw his hands up in the air dramatically as he jogged back up to Zuko. Sokka knew he probably couldn’t afford it, but still he could dream. Zuko held back an eye roll, but didn’t respond. He knew that shop. It had beautiful leather journals that would put him in debt. Maybe one day, after paying off college and getting a steady job, he would get himself one of those books. For now, spiral-bound notebooks would have to suffice. Zuko pulled his attention from the boutique and pointed to the building across the street from them.

“This is the Jasmine Dragon.” Zuko introduced, feeling the slightest bit of pride swell inside his chest. Zuko loved his uncle, that much was clear.

“A tea shop? Do they have coffee too?” Sokka read the green sign on the front, a golden dragon weaving through the black lettering of the cafe’s name. There was a quaintness about it that reminded Sokka of home, a comforting sight among all the oversize and overdone buildings on the boardwalk, that just screamed  _ rich as hell _ . Zuko shook his head.

“Just tea. And you better not ask my uncle that, he’ll break out into an hour long rant about the unsophistication of coffee.” Sokka grinned.

“Then I’ll most definitely have to bring up the coffee.” Sokka barked out a laugh and tore across the street, ignoring the cross walks and passing vehicles- much to Zuko’s exasperation. Zuko continued to make his way down the street and waited patiently for the crosswalk signal, crossing hastily. Sokka was already waiting for him by the entrance, his arms crossed over his chest and a smug look on his face.

“What?”

“You’re such a goody two-shoes.” Zuko curled his fist in rage.

“Am not!” This only made Sokka smile and throw open the door, motioning Zuko to enter with a bow.

“Are too! After you, your royal highness, stick-up-his-butt.” Sokka snickered as Zuko glared at him, but entered first anyway. Sokka let the door fall closed behind him as he entered, the building being an immediate refuge from the sun and heat that rose off the streets in a haze. Sokka scanned the room, excitement coursing through his fingertips and making him rock on his feet, energy just bursting at the seams.

“Nephew! I was hoping you’d stop by! I need you to move all those delivery boxes into the store room for me, my back just isn’t what it was!” A paunchy older man sauntered up to the boys, patting Zuko on the shoulder.

“Umm, sure Uncle. I’ve-”

“I see you brought a friend! Oh good, you go help me and I’ll keep your friend company.” Iroh practically shoved Zuko forward, and pulled Sokka over to a corner table.

“I’m Sokka. Nice place you got, sir.” Sokka grinned holding out a hand. Iroh took it with a chuckle and a warm smile that made his cheeks dimple.

“It is very nice to meet you Sokka, but please, you may simply call me Uncle Iroh. Zuko doesn’t bring his friends around here so it is an honor to meet you.” Sokka scratched the back of his neck awkwardly for a second, catching the surprising tone in Iroh’s voice. What had he meant when he said Zuko didn’t bring friends around?

“Oh, thanks! I’ve never been to Ember Island before, but it’s been nice. If I had known that Zuko’s uncle had a tea shop, I would’ve come by sooner. I really haven’t explored the island yet, so this was a good excuse.”

“Well the island has much to offer, I’m sure. If this is your first time visiting, may I suggest the Jasmine tea? It’s Zuko’s favorite.” Iroh leaned in as he said this, smiling like he was telling a secret. 

“Is that why you named it the Jasmine Dragon?” Sokka asked, but he didn’t receive an answer outside of a warm smile. But in truth, that was an answer in itself and Sokka prided himself on his observation skills.

“So I heard you’ve been working Zuko overtime. He says business has been crazy and he’s been working here all summer. It’s kinda nice to have a summer job. Save up for those college expenses.” Sokka pitched a conversation, happily chatting with Iroh, but also hoping that zuko would reappear soon, because (and strangely enough) Sokka missed him already. Iroh squinted, a clear sign of confusion as he folded his hands against the table.

“He is right about business doing well, but I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean. Zuko hasn’t worked here all summer. My original tea shop is in Ba Sing Se, but I did so well there, that I expanded and work here in the summers, although my lovely little shop back home is still being run by some close Pai Sho buddies of mine.” The color drained from Sokka’s face as he immediately wished he could have retracted his statement. He rewinded the earlier conversation with Zuko, in case Sokka himself misunderstood something.  _ I work at my Uncle’s Tea shop all summer. _ That had not been a misunderstanding.

Zuko had lied. 

The realization made him wrinkle his nose, but he quickly recovered his charming smile and nodded.

“Ohhhh, that must be what he was talking about! The one in Ba Sing Se.”

“Ah yes, my nephew works there during the school year. It also happens to be a wonderful place to study for those exams.”

“I’ll have to keep that in mind. I go to Ba Sing Se university! I didn’t know Zuko goes there too! Small world.” Sokka said with a shrug, and while he tried to remain calm and collected his skin prickled at his neck, anger rising up as a deep flush of red, which he blamed from the heat outside. Zuko had lied to him. But Sokka, never being one to put a hold on a good conversation, especially now that he was introduced to Iroh, put the thought off to the side… at least until he could confront Zuko.

As if on cue, and much to Sokka’s dismay, Zuko approached their table from the back, and sheepishly sat down next to his Uncle. He didn’t say anything, but by the subtle awkward glance between the three of them, Iroh knew something was up, Sokka had a forming irritation towards Zuko, and Zuko very much wanted to run and hide. 

“If it’s alright, I’d love to order some tea! You recommended Jasmine?” Iroh smiled patiently and stood, clapping his hands together in excitement.

“I’ll get you and Zuko a pot right now!” He bid a quick goodbye to the boys with a nod of his head and hurried behind the counter to set up the stove. And when Iroh turned his back, Sokka didn’t forget to send Zuko a look of exhortation that set him on edge, and Sokka almost smiled at Zuko’s visible unease as he did so.

  
  


〜⛭〜

“Hey Azula! Did you see the Vogue challenge? I bet we could totally do that, you would look great on the front cover!” Ty Lee looked up from her phone, smiling brightly at Azula, who sat a few feet in front of her. Ty Lee was on her stomach, bikini allowing her to show off her tan, and scrolling mindlessly through Instagram. Azula’s eyes darted up from her newest of phones, where she busied herself with reading the latest news on Caldera City, making sure there was nothing negative on her father’s leadership. Because if there was, and she caught it, there wouldn’t be much left for those reporters to write up. She’d make sure of that.

“Please, Ty Lee. If I wanted to pose for Vogue I could just as easily buy my way into the real magazine. The challenge is just an excuse for ugly people to believe they’re pretty for a moment.” Azula sneered back, shutting her phone off and tossing it idly to the side. She examined her perfectly manicured nails, the dark red paint smooth and absent of any chips.

“Oh. I guess. But you’re so beautiful Azula! You should show off your looks more often.” Azula raised her eyebrows, unamused.

“I know that already Ty Lee. But “showing off” some pretty little face, isn’t what makes people respect and bow down to you. You of all people should know that.” Ty Lee cocked her head, not exactly sure what Azula meant by that, but shrugged, happily listening to Azula talk. “People fear me. And fear always wins.” Azula smiled wickedly, her chin tilted upward in her elegant confidence. Mai snorted from across the room, finally tuning into the conversation.

“What about you, Mai? Would you do the challenge? Emo is in after all.”

“No. It sounds boring. I want to do something exciting, and I don’t want to sit around the house all day either, Azula. Isn’t there something we could do?”

“What about the beach?!” Ty Lee piped up, squealing with delight. Azula rolled her eyes.

“Funny you bring that up Mai, I have just the idea. You know those peasant volleyball girls that come up every summer?”

“The Kyoshi Warriors! I heard they’re really good!” Ty Lee jumped up, practically shaking with excitement.

“Well I heard they like to hang out on the West Point beach. I thought maybe we could pay them a little visit.” Mai’s eyes widened, her interest piquing. Azula stood, stretched, and tugged at Ty Lee’s wrist leading the girls towards the door.

  
  


〜⛭〜

  
  


Sokka spent far longer than he cared to admit, saying goodbye to Iroh. Within the hour that they’d known each other, Sokka had never felt so winded from a conversation, full of excitement and wisdom, from talking to an older person. If Sokka hadn’t been so angry with Zuko, each minute forcing his thoughts to poke at his tightening chest, Sokka would have stayed to chat all day. But Sokka finally said goodbye, clutching a small paper bag with the shop’s logo on the front, fresh pastries stuffed inside -a treat for a friend of Zuko’s, as Iroh had said- and followed Zuko onto the street. Once he was out of earshot from Iroh and had pulled Zuko a little ways down the road, he exploded.

“You lied to me.” Zuko tilted his head.

“What?”

“You said you were busy all summer working for your uncle! And that’s why you couldn’t bother to even talk to me! For a week, Zuko! You lied to me, and I wouldn’t have even been mad if you just said you didn’t want to hang out with me! But you lied and instead you’re pulling me along with your bullshit and I don’t want anything to do with it!” Sokka growled, pushing Zuko in the chest, causing him to stumble back. Pure fear enveloped Zuko’s expression at the contact, making him shrink into his shoulders. Sokka caught it, and would have felt bad about it too… if he wasn’t so enraged.

“Thanks for the tea, but I’ll be getting out of your way now! I’ll just save your breath from having to lie!” Sokka turned around and began to storm off, but Zuko grabbed his forearm, tugging him around harshly. Zuko must’ve recognized his own movement, because he pulled his hand away quickly, embarrassment, fear, and guilt glazing his eyes into a dull brown.

“Sokka wait! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to lie to you, I do want to hang out. I…” He trailed off, his breath lodging in his throat in a sudden motion that made his stomach flip and made his brain swell with the fear of suffocation. 

“Why’d you lie then? Why were you avoiding me? If you were really busy then that’s fine, but what was the point of lying?” Sokka sighed, wanting to accept Zuko’s apology. Every fiber of his being wanted to forgive him, but his instinct was not to trust and that created a brutal war between all that Sokka knew and the gut feeling that left him sinking in quicksand.

“I-I-I…” Zuko trailed off, his mouth opening and closing, unable to provide Sokka with the real answer. Zuko knew the truth, the truth was what ripped him into a million pieces, like he was some scrap of meat left out for the wolves to devour. He stared at Sokka, his eyes cold and firm, strong like iron, but wide with a hope slowly starting to slip away. Zuko wanted to scream the truth, but he tightened the locks on his rib cage, keeping him below the surface of the water, letting himself drown.

“You still can’t tell me the truth.” Sokka wanted to sound menacing, he really did, but his tone had slipped and it sounded depleted. “It was nice knowing you Zuko.” Sokka spat sarcastically, and with that, he turned, and left Zuko to burn in the afternoon sun, kicking pebbles into the road as walked towards home, wishing that just maybe he was one of those pebbles he kicked out into the traffic, abandoned and unable to save itself from the tires that ran over each little rock without hesitation. It would have been easier than being a human cursed with a nervous system that made him  _ feel _ .

〜⛭〜

  
  


_ Chapter 2- The Iron Wolf _

_ The boy with the ocean eyes didn’t remember the night of the accident that left him half blind and half deaf, and no matter how many times the police and press grilled him with questions, he never had the answer. _

_ “I’m sorry.” He’d whisper, defeated. “I don’t recall anything from that night.” That wasn’t true. _

_ Well, it was true in a sense, but in the blinding flashes that plagued his sleep, decipherable only in the dream state were always forgotten when he woke. But there was one thing that was added to these so called memories. But surely it was a figment of his screwed up imagination. And he wasn’t about to tell the police about his visions, they’d only throw him in a mental institution. _

_ But now, in his dreams with the searing heat and roaring metal, emerged an iron wolf from the foggy smear of his sight line. An iron wolf that stood tall, rusted teeth bared, resembling blood from its victims left in its teeth. The wolf wasn’t scary though. It was… comforting, despite the rage it gave off, the aggressive stance that it took against the heat and blinding white light. At first, the blue eyed boy had been petrified of the the wolf, but after nearly a week of the recurring vision, he soon came to realize; it wasn’t him the iron wolf was snarling at, it was the light, and one that swallowed him whole in a burning sensation that sent his muscles on fire and made his head collapse. The vision made him writhe in pain, call out in his sleep, but every time the wolf appeared, the sheets of metal coating its gears on the inside, his disgruntled appearance would cease and and vision would fizzle out into a steady darkness. _

Zuko rested his pen against his pillows, staring at the filled out page of his second chapter, and if he was being honest, he had absolutely no idea what it meant. He had no idea how the metaphors connected to the story, or what the plot even was. But something felt right, almost sturdy, and so Zuko opted not to scratch it out as he closed his notebook for the night. It was a new one, he had gotten it down at the gas station earlier that day, while he wandered the town for hours after Sokka had left him. He normally hated the boardwalk town, but it was the only thing keeping him from home for the time being. As he sat at home now, new notebook in hand -albeit not anything fancy, but it did the trick- he desperately tried to block out all thoughts about Sokka, drawing up several lists of all the things he had done wrong that day. The more he focused on it, the more he deemed “went wrong” and he would scribble down the words and focus on them so hard that it would make his eyes sting with tears.

_ I deserve it _ . He’d say over and over to himself, expanding his list as he spiraled into a blackhole. He collapsed back into his pillow, holding the new notebook to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut. 

〜⛭〜

“Will you be paying me for this little date night of yours? I’m not going to cook some gourmet meal for you and my sister and be forced to watch your  _ oogies _ , without something in return!” Sokka folded his arms and stomped his foot. Sure, the mannerism was a little childish, but after the day he had had, Sokka simply wasn’t in the mood.

“Umm…” Aang trailed off, shooting daggers at Suki and Toph behind him, trying to contain their fits of giggles, and failing miserably. “I’ll buy you those sketch pencils you want!” Sokka raised an eyebrow.

“The twelve pack?”

“The eight pack.” Sokka shook his head stubbornly.

“Ugghhh, the ten pack! Deal?” Sokka grinned and shook Aang's hand. So maybe he had wanted that nearly thirty dollar pack of pencils for two months but was waiting for his birthday at the end of the summer. Sokka couldn’t help it. An artist needed their supplies, and Sokka had… expensive taste to say the least. But hey, like he always said, it didn’t matter if you were a good artist or not, as long as you had good art supplies. 

“Oh, and don’t tell Katara about it! I want it to be a surprise.” Sokka stuck his tongue out in disgust but agreed. At least it would get his mind off all that had happened with Zuko. He had still yet to tell his friends about meeting the wealthy boy, or their late night conversation a week prior. And now, there was nothing to tell, at least that much Sokka told himself.

Sokka crossed the house, ready to collapse against his mountain of pillows and sleep until the sun was high in the sky the next day, but paused by the open front door, the storm screen the only barrier between the ocean breeze and the house. A small box sat on the front porch, neatly wrapped in brown paper. A package? Sokka narrowed his eyes and approached the porch, pushing open the storm door and dragging the package inside. He glanced about, checking to see if anyone was hovering over his shoulder, and curiously ripped the tape of the package and unrolled the brown paper. Inside was, interestingly enough, a dark blue pencil case, waves dancing across the front and a black zipper that opened into several organized pockets for his drawing supplies. He shifted the pencil case between his hands, examining the pouch and it’s perfect little shape, a soft tug of his lips betraying his internal conflict as he smiled at the same pencil case he had seen on the boardwalk earlier that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOooooo! I’m literally so excited about this story guys, it’s not even funny! Shout out to Sokka’s beliefs about art as that is my ideology, at least when it comes to colored pencils!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	4. The Moon will be There to Guide You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka cooks a meal for Katara and Aang's date night, but with the insane amount of leftovers, takes some over to Zuko... so okay, maybe Sokka decides to give him another chance...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s up everyone?! Here’s chapter four, aka, the chapter Sokka is a gourmet chef, The Kyoshi Warriors are pissed, and Toph just wants to steal.
> 
> A lot’s about to go down and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
> 
> Two things to mention:
> 
> 1\. I added two more chaps. to the story, one for an epilogue and one because this chapter was going to become a monster coming in a 11,000 words originally, and I didn’t think that would be nice to post on your guys. That being said, next chapter is going to be pretty short, but don’t worry, we are about to go on a rollercoaster of emotions!
> 
> 2.Again with the trigger warning here, internal homophobia, references of child abuse
> 
> Enjoy!!!

**Chapter Four- The Moon will be There to Guide You**

If there was anything that Sokka excelled at, other than being an overall awesome person in his unbiased opinion, was cooking. Most of his life was spent thinking that it was the woman’s job to cook and that working in the kitchen simply wasn’t the place for him to be, even if he absolutely loved helping his mother make dinner. A sharp smack in the head from Katara had extinguished that illusion, after he had made some misogynistic comment. Of course this was back in their early teen years when all boys were essentially, assholes. 

But Katara (and Suki) had shaken him from the societal stigmas that he’d fallen for in those early years and he was proud to say that unlike other boys that he knew, he did not grow up to be an asshole. A sarcastic little shit… maybe, but not an asshole. And after meeting Suki and the girls, his respect only grew. (Okay so maybe after hearing what girls went through each month with their periods also scared the shit out of him and made him realize how powerful women were,) but that was besides the point.

Sokka danced around the kitchen, the  _ enormous  _ kitchen -he might add- of the condo, after waving off the hired chef for the rest of the day. It had been nice not to prepare meals every night, but he missed the sounds of the kitchen. He slid an apron over his head, tightening his wolf tail, and hummed gleefully to the music he had turned on to full blast. He wasn’t even ashamed to say that in his playlist made up of Foreigner and Asia, he also had some Taylor Swift mixed in. 

He pulled an array of pots out and set them on the stove, snatching the grocery bags that sat on the table across from him and rummaged through them in search of the different vegetables that he ordered just for tonight. Vegetables disgusted him, as it should any  _ normal  _ person, but Aang was vegetarian, and he had to have some sort of supplement for the sheer amount of meat he was about to make. He smiled as the mushrooms, onion, and other greens as they sizzled in the oils of the pan, the heat rising around the pan. He pulled out the Icelandic cod next, making a mess out of the seasoning and sauce as he worked. He pushed the fish to the side letting it marinate as he pulled out the various supplies for the sea prune stew. Aang hated it and for shits and giggles, that’s exactly why Sokka decided to make it… Oh and he supposed because his sister loved the stew. The stew would take a good hour to prepare, but he didn’t mind. His Gran-Gran had taught him well, he didn’t even need a recipe. 

He sang the lyrics to “Hot Blooded” slamming the oven shut and spinning around, but was very rudely interrupted by a scoff.

“Wow… maybe I should be calling  _ you  _ twinkle toes.” Sokka gaped, roughly placing his hands on his hips.

“What do you want Toph, can’t you see I’m busy?!” He snapped, mostly by the surprise of her presence. He ignored her smirk as he filled a pot with water.

“Well I can’t  _ see  _ anything, but it seems like you’re having a good time. Especially after your little mood. I don’t why though, Zuko seems nice enough.” Sokka had been carrying the pot of water over to the stove as she said and immediately let the pot clamber to the ground, including the water which pooled at his feet.

“How do you know about Zuko!?” Sokka practically screamed, ignoring all the mess and his sopping wet socks. 

“I’m rich as hell Zuko. I used to come here every summer, not that I was allowed to leave the house, but Iroh from the Jasmine dragon would always come by for tea deliveries. He’s Zuko's uncle, and he talks about him all the freakin’ time. Now that I can freely go about the island, I visited Iroh and he told me what happened.”

“How does  _ Iroh  _ know what happened?” Toph shrugged.

“His wisdom is limitless and a mystery to mankind.” Sokka growled and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Of freakin’ course his little fight with Zuko would make its way around at some point, not that any of his friend’s had ever met the guy, but it was still frustrating. Now Sokka had to explain everything to Toph, who would surely tell everyone else and Katara would later storm into Sokka’s room and demand answers for all her questions.

“And you tell me this now? It happened three days ago.” Sokka huffed out, frantically snatching towels from the racks and absorbing the puddle of water. He threw a roll of paper towels at Toph, grunting at her to help.

“I wanted to make sure you were out of your funk. You aren’t fun to be around when you’re all crabby.” Sokka shot her a glare, and even if she couldn’t see it, she must’ve sensed it coming because she simply chuckled.

“So are you going to talk to Zuko again?” Toph changed the subject from Sokka’s notorious mood swings to the one thing Sokka didn’t want to talk about. Sokka stood, and wiped his hands on his apron, letting Toph wipe up the remaining water residue that had slashed up against the cabinets and fridge. He crossed the kitchen and stirred the cooking vegetables, satisfied by the sizzling squeal they gave out as the heat darkened the color and smells began to rise up and waft through the kitchen.

“No… I don’t know. He doesn’t like me, so what’s the point?”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Uh, yeah Toph. I’m pretty sure.” He scoffed.

“I don’t know Sokka. Iroh has eluded to a not-so-great homelife for Zuko. He hasn’t said anything in specifics, but he told me Zuko hasn’t had the most forgiving life. Maybe you could change that.” She responded with a shrug, throwing out the wet paper towels and throwing the roll back at Sokka, which missed his hands and nailed him in the forehead. 

“When did you become Ms. See-all, Know-all?” Sokka cringed the second it came out of his mouth. Toph only grinned.

“That’s rude, you know. Being blind and all.” She jabbed playfully. “I’m very intune to my surroundings. But I’m serious.” She folded her arms and jutted her hip out as she leaned on her one leg. Sokka wanted to say no, every instinct told him to forget about that stupid kid… who in a matter of a couple hours knew pain like him, understood how loss festered inside of him and made it completely impossible to move on. Everyone else seemed to see past it all, to use the pain as strength. Zuko saw it for what it was. Shackles.

Maybe that’s why Sokka was so hung up about the whole situation. He bit down on the inside of his cheek, feeling the pressure cause it to throb. It was a stupid habit he had, whenever he fell too deep into thought. Toph of course, caught it.

“Soooo?” She reached out to grab the seal jerky, Sokka had just finished cooking that morning, but he slapped her hand away.

“Fine. I’ll think about it. Just get out of my kitchen, I have to finish dinner for Aang’s outrageous date night.” Toph stuck her tongue out in disgust and Sokka laughed, both of them gagging at the disgusting sweetness of Aang and Katara’s relationship. 

“You’re making  _ all  _ this food? For two?” Sokka sighed.

“Aang couldn’t decide on a dish… so he had me make them all. I don’t mind too much, we’ll be eating leftovers for a week though.” Toph gagged again, but this time at the thought of eating fish. She reached for the seal jerky again, but Sokka pushed her out of the kitchen. Asia was playing in the background, but he couldn’t hear it over his screaming thoughts.

**〜⛭〜**

The moon was high in the sky by the time Katara came home, soaking wet from surfing, but a sleepy smile on her face nonetheless. The sun was sinking, leaving the purples and oranges to blend and the moon to watch over the world during the night. Aang had shooed everyone from the house for the evening, with the exception of Sokka, who had been slaving away in the kitchen all day, and refused to call it quits until the Akutaq was perfectly whipped. It was Katara’s favorite dessert, and even though he had to swap out the animal fat for a vegetable based shortening, it still tasted the same. But the time he finished, it had turned a light purple from the berries and the added coconut gave it a beachy smell. 

“Aang?” Katara called out, setting her surfboard on the side of the house and entered, wringing out her hair. It was Sokka who popped his head out from the kitchen.

“He’s on the back deck. He’s got a surprise for you. Oh-” Sokka pointed at her bathing suit. “You might want to put something a little more fancy on.” She tilted her head in confusion and opened her mouth to retort, but Sokka had already disappeared back into the kitchen. 

Katara hurried into her room, quickly sliding into a blue sun dress, and braiding her damp hair into one long brain that fell against her back and left wet spots on her dress. She rested her mother's necklace against her neck, tossed on some mascara and was back in the main room of the house in fifteen minutes. Sokka once again emerged from the kitchen, a plate balancing in each hand and a grin on his face.

“Sokka what’s-”

“Hey, I’m only here because Aang can’t cook. So please ignore my existence and you can thank me later.” She smiled and threw her arms around him, making him stumble back and grip the dishes tighter, desperately trying to keep his masterpiece  _ on _ the plate. Katara opened the back door, holding it for Sokka, who snatched it with his foot, watching as Katara kissed Aang on the cheek.

“Aang? You did all this, for me?” She motioned to the fairy lights wrapped around the banisters of the back deck, raised from the beach and with a sweet little view of the setting sun.

“Hey! I did the big stuff.” Sokka snapped, setting down the dishes. “Alright we got icelandic cod, sea prune stew, roasted vegetables mixed with grilled seal jerky, and for dessert we have… Akutaq!” Katara smiled, and as much as he was disgusted by Aang and Katara’s  _ oogies,  _ the smile on her face was worth it.

Sokka disappeared into the kitchen, cleaning up his mess of pots and pans that had accumulated in the sink, and wiped down the counters, sticky with shortening. His stomach growling after neglecting to eat all day -he had been saving room for the monstrosity of a meal- and pulled the leftovers from the fridge, all packed away in their tupperware.

He glanced out the window where he could see the glow of the fairy lights. He smiled softly to himself and wondered what it would’ve been like for Yue and him to sit out there and eat their favorite dishes. He practically drooled as he looked at the fish, but the thought of sitting alone in the kitchen to eat it, didn’t sit right with him. The Kyoshi Warriors were having a bonfire out on west point beach, Toph was undoubtedly causing trouble somewhere, and obviously Aang and Katara were a bit busy. Sokka shifted the tupperware container between his hands as Toph’s words repeated itself in his head.

_ Stupid Toph! She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.  _ But he sighed, defeated, because she had a point. Sokka had taken notice of the strange behavior Zuko had, the fearful eyes, the way physical contact seemed so daunting, the way the word  _ father  _ stumbled from his mouth the same way the name of a monster would get caught in someone's throat in a horror movie. The realization sent a shiver down his spine. So he gathered the tupperware and slipped them into his bag, along with two soda’s and he hurried out of the house without the word.

Katara and Aang could find the Akutaq in the freezer, they weren’t stupid, Sokka told himself as he slid on his blue converse and set off down the winding wooden boardwalk towards the mansions sitting high in the distance.

  
  


**〜⛭〜**

The house up close was far more daunting than from the beach down below. Sokka’s eyes widened as he trekked up the long driveway winding between two lines of palm trees and the big brass gates with a security guard and everything. Sokka had to empty the contents of his bag and give details about how he was a friend of Zuko’s before he could be let through. But once he reached the house, which was larger than the shopping mall back home, he could clearly see the tall pillars that held the grand windows. The dark reds and blacks felt much more like an evil lair than a beach home. Sokka exhaled shakily, suddenly self-conscious about the way he was dressed. So maybe ripped jeans and his disgusting converse was not the move to make when going to the richest estate on the island, but it was too late to turn back now. Sokka itched the back of his leg nervously with his foot and shrugged his bag over his right shoulder, staring up at the massive double doors lined with gold. With a deep breath, he rang the doorbell.

It took several seconds before it was opened, an older man dressed sharply, looking Sokka up and down.

“Can I help you?” He questioned with a gruff tone.

“Uhhh…” Suddenly words were not working for Sokka’s mouth as he drew a blank and instead blinked stupidly at the man in front of him.

“Lee? How many times do I have to tell your moronic- Who are you?” A young girl shoved the man to the side, pressing her hands on the frame, fully blocking the entrance. Sokka blinked.

“I’m Sokka… and-”

“Sorry, but we have nothing to give to charity.” An obvious lie, Sokka caught, but he didn’t have time to bring that up as she was already closing the door on his face.

“Wait! No, umm… Zuko lives here right?” Suddenly the aggressive gleam in the girl’s eyes softened but not into something inviting, something more... unnerving.

“My brother Zuzu?” Sokka wrinkled his forehead.

“I guess. I uh, made dinner for my friends and I have a bunch of leftovers and I thought-”

“Oh I don’t have time for stories! But I’ll show you to his room.” She smiled, but the way her lips curled upward it was as if she was plotting something sinister. Sokka thanked her and sent a quick glare to the man at the door when his back was turned and followed Zuko’s sister on her heels.

“You know, Zuko never told me he had a sister.” She flipped her hair behind her and glanced at him distastefully, catching the pitiful attempt to make conversation while they walked through the massive house, the corridors a maze of dark wallpapers and creepy paintings of frowning men.  _ What a dreary place to live _ . 

“Oh that’s probably because he wishes he was an only child, but I suppose that’s how any oldest child views their siblings.” She scoffed and Sokka narrowed his eyes. He certainly never wished he was an only child, but he wasn’t interested in starting an argument with this girl. 

“Zuzu hasn’t mentioned you either, but he’s such a grump, it's intoxicating, really.” She almost snarled this out, the topic of her brother obviously pulling negative ties with it. Sokka cocked an eyebrow, unsure of how to take all that in as she stopped at the door at the end of the hallway.

“Oh Zuzu! You have a visitor.” She rasped harshly on the door.

“Go away Azula!” Shouted a voice from inside the room.

“That isn’t a way to greet your only friend, dum-dum! I was nice enough to show him to your room and you’re just-” She was cut off by Zuko throwing open his door, a glare so intense it cut right through Sokka and into Azula, who simply grinned. 

Then Zuko noticed Sokka and did a double take. He opened his mouth as if to hiss out Sokka’s name, but closed it again, clenching his jaw. Azula dug her nails into Sokka’s back as she shoved him into Zuko’s dimly lit room and Zuko was forced to jump out of the way, a mix of fear and irritation crossing his face.

“Well I’m going to Ty Lee’s. Have fuuun.” She mocked in a sing-song tone. She flipped her hair behind her once more, and looked over her shoulder, eyes narrow, and curling grin as she hissed. “Oh, and you might want to make sure you leave the door…  _ open _ .” She laughed as if it was some kind of sick inside joke, one that made Zuko shake with rage. He slammed the door shut letting the sound vibrate through the house, before his eyes widened in panic and he quickly threw open the door again. Finally he turned back to Sokka who awkwardly stood there, his bag in his hands and a slight frown on his lips. 

“Um… hi.” Sokka said.

“Hi.” A pause. 

“I brought food.” Sokka dug through his bag with one hand pulling out the tupperware of fish and vegetables. Zuko didn’t smile, but he nodded his head towards the door, signaling Sokka to follow him. Sokka chewed on his lip in the uncomfortable silence as Zuko led him back down the hall, down the massive staircase, but instead of leading him through the grand foyer, Zuko cut through another hallway, passing an empty, but massive dining room with a table that could fit twenty and towards a small swinging door at the end of the hall. He pushed it open to reveal the kitchens, where the chef normally entered and exited and led Sokka through another door that opened up into the small break room for the staff.

“It’s... homier here. We can heat up your food and eat outside.” Sokka could only manage a nod as he quickly separated the contents of his leftovers onto two plain white plates, nothing near as fancy as the china he had seen elegantly displayed in cabinets in the hall. 

They were silent as they watched the food spin around in the microwave, Sokka stealing glances at Zuko’s face trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Zuko, meanwhile, wanted to scream. Why had Sokka shown up? He was grateful for it… but then again, he had the worst luck in the world. Azula would be watching him like a hawk now, running off to his father about his friend, and maybe if Zuko was lucky, he would get out of it unscathed… at least maybe not permanently.

But Sokka was just a friend. His father couldn’t punish him for that, could he? It wasn’t like they were-

Zuko pinched the skin of his wrist so hard that blood was only a skin layer from the surface. He was not to think about things like that.  _ He was not to think about things like that _ . He scowled at his reflection in the microwave door. The microwave beeped, jolting Zuko from his thoughts and making him jump. He tried to hide the startle, but of course, Sokka had caught it with the corner of his eye, but then again, there was nothing Sokka could do.

If Sokka wasn’t still… sort of mad at Zuko, he would’ve felt bad. Okay, so admittedly, Sokka felt a twitch of anxiety in his gut at the flinch. A big twitch of anxiety. Sokka felt powerless, so out of his control, he could do nothing but grab the plates from the microwave and lead Zuko to what he figured was the back door. He pushed it open, biting the plastic silverware between his teeth as he held onto both plates and let Zuko exit first. Sokka assumed that maybe they’d wander down to the yard or beach to eat, but instead Zuko sat on the creaky wooden steps, worn from a lack of paint job and hidden from the seemingly perfect house. Sokka tentatively sat down next to him, handing him a plate. They continued their little game of silence as Zuko nervously took a bite.

Sokka watched him -not in a creepy way- waiting for his reaction.

“Y-you made this?”

“Yeah. Is it… not good?”

“No!” Zuko said frantically. He took a breath trying to calm his nerves. “No, i-i-it’s fantastic. You’re a good cook.” Sokka smiled softly.

“Thanks.” Sokka piled his fork with vegetables and fish and stuffed it in his mouth. It was good. He’d even say that it rivaled his Gran-Gran’s. The silence returned, with the exception of Sokka’s loud chewing, and Zuko’s gentle breath. It was still awkward, there was no doubt about that… but now at least, there was a reason for the silence.

“Look I-” They both exclaimed suddenly and simultaneously causing the color to drain from Zuko’s face and Sokka to chuckle nervously. He stabbed his fork into the fish, letting it stand up on its own.

“You go first.” Zuko offered, shifting away slightly. He pinched himself again, and this time Sokka eyed it, but didn’t bring it up. At least not yet.

“Well… I came to apologize about the other day. I mean, I’m still sorta pissed, but I got really ill tempered and-”

“No. No I should be the one to apologize to you. I shouldn't have lied. But I did- I do like you. And I really don’t mind hanging out, I just-” Zuko paused, glancing around. It was like he was waiting for the shadows to surround him and drag him under. Sokka glanced around too, following Zuko’s eyes, searching for whatever it was that Zuko was so ready to run from. Sokka brought his gaze back to Zuko and his golden irises. Zuko gulped, his fingers shaking slightly as he placed his fork back down on his plate. Sokka reached out- slowly and cautiously after taking Zuko’s issues with contact and placed his hand gently on his shoulder. Zuko’s eyes widened at the touch, but didn’t flinch at the contact -Sokka counted that as a win in his book- and took a deep breath.

“I’m not… ready. To tell you the truth, I mean. But I hope that maybe you can forgive me and we can start over… again?” This made Sokka chuckle a little, but on the inside he felt his chest heave for air, at Zuko’s tone. It was as if something so raw and devastating had built up his throat, he could barely produce a whisper. So instead Sokka nodded. 

_ Zuko hasn’t had the most forgiving life. Maybe you could change that. _

“Okay. I don’t want to force you into anything. But no more lies? I’ve… I’ve never really had anyone to talk to about loss- outside of family, and it was nice.” Sokka tried to smile, but he found it hard when staring into the eyes rimmed gold in the sinking sunlight, but filled with a dark rich brown the further it went in towards the dilated pupils. 

“Okay… and I haven’t really had many… friends. So this is nice.” Zuko paused, biting his lower lip. “Wow that sounded really lame.” He blushed furiously and looked down, letting his unruly hair hide his face. Sokka smiled for real this time, taking another bite of fish.

“You’re not lame. I’m mean in comparison to me, maybe, but that’s because I’m awesome.” Zuko’s lips twitched into a smile and shook his head. Sokka sent him a playful glare, his cheeks stuffed with food. They both looked out towards the beach, most of the view shadowed by the side of the house and tall hedge that blocked off the massive yard from the rest of the world, but from the top of the stairs they could see the crescent moon, declining into a new moon, which would be vacant from the sky for a few days. 

“Thanks by the way. For the pencil case. You didn’t have to do that.” Zuko rubbed the back of his neck, his whole face a red tint. 

“Yes, I did. I- I’m really sorry, again.” Sokka looked back at him, eyebrows furrowed together.

“Zuko, we just went through this, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize again.”

“Right… sorry.” Sokka snorted.

“Just... thanks again.” Zuko nodded.

“Are you an artist?”

“Well I don’t really like labels butttt-” Sokka’s face lit up, but Zuko didn’t catch the playfulness in his voice. “I guess. I’m not very good, but I try.” Zuko nodded and suddenly had the urge to tell Sokka about his stories. Immediately the thought created a revolt in his stomach, as if such an idea forced his stomach acid up his throat, causing him to choke back his words. Instead they fell into another silence, Sokka’s eyes fixated on the moon above. He held the same mesmerized expression as he did that night on the beach, and Zuko connected the look to his loss.

“Tell me about her.” Zuko whispered suddenly. He swallowed and pointed his fork up at the sky. “Yue, I mean… If you want.” Sokka smiled sadly, poking at his vegetables.

“Once I start, I might never stop.” Zuko looked at him.

“That’s okay.” 

“She was the most beautiful human that I’ve ever met. She was like… a poem. I know, that sounds cheesy as hell, and it is! But there was this elegance about her and it was- poetic. How she ever ended up with a guy like me, I’ll never know, but she was just radiant. Her voice was gentle and soothing and her laugh was so quiet.. And it was the most wonderful sound in the world.” Sokka paused, digging through his memories in search of that gentle, breezy laugh, the one that he remembered waking up to, the morning they had gone camping… God that felt like ages ago. And in a sense it was, it was two months before the fire. They had shared everything together, all their firsts, and for the two of them, many lasts too. His breath trembled slightly as he continued, feeling the warmth of Zuko’s gentle gaze as he listened with an intensity and focus, Sokka had never experienced. Nobody had ever paid attention to him like Zuko did, and it made Sokka’s stomach flip-flop with a giddiness he hadn’t experienced in years.

“She loved the moon. So much so that she planned on going to space. She was planning to study astronomy in college. And since I was going for engineering, I promised her I’d get her there. I’d help to build her a rocketship and she could be the first woman on the moon.” Sokka wiped the tears from his eyes, swallowing down the rock lodged in his throat. 

“Sorry.” Sokka whispered when the tears didn’t stop and they began to spill over onto his cheeks. He hastily wiped them away and refused to meet Zuko’s gentle gaze.

“She sounds wonderful.”

“She was.” Sokka scooted a little bit closer, the cool ocean breeze sweeping up his hair and pulling loose strands from the hair band. 

“I was never one to believe in a heaven or hell or a God for that matter, but I always wondered what happened after. I’m willing to bet that her dream came true. Just not how you originally envisioned it. Maybe she’s on the moon now.” Zuko whispered back, closing his eyes for a moment and trying to picture a young woman looking up at the moon, trying to picture the Yue that Sokka saw.

“She’s probably laughing at me, telling me that I’m being dramatic.” Sokka chuckled, smiling up at the pale blue glow of the moon and the gentle cascade of stars that surrounded her.

“Maybe. Maybe she’s just... watching. Watching and waiting for you to build that rocketship.”

**〜⛭〜**

Sokka didn’t quite remember how he got home. He knew that he walked, but it was all fuzzy, in the way that he got when he was drunk. He was in fact, not drunk, but his brain swelled with so many thoughts and a numbness all at once, that it all felt like a hazy dream under the glow of the moon separated only by the slits in the palm tree leaves. 

Sokka got home not long after ten, the sun fully set by this time. He stumbled into the house, ripping out his hair tie to let his hair fall around the frame of his face as he sauntered into the kitchen for the hope that maybe Katara had left him some extra Akatuq and he smiled when he saw the bowl resting in the fridge, waiting for him. He pulled it out and stuck a spoonful in his mouth, wandering back into the main room of the house, where not only was Katara, Aang, and Toph staring at him, but Suki and the entire volleyball team, their expressions distraught and Suki’s eyes filled with a dangerous fire. He stopped dead in his tracks and so did his thoughts that had moments before drifted back to his conversation with Zuko.

“What?” Sokka asked, spoon still in his mouth. His eyebrows furrowed as he glanced around the crowded living room, the volleyball team looking exhausted and depleted. “What’s going on?” Katara opened her mouth, and by the expression that crossed her face, Sokka got the impression that she was about ready to commit murder. The matter of  _ who  _ was still not clarified.

“Katara, it’s okay. I’ll explain.” Suki said, holding up a hand. “Me and the girls were on the other side of the island earlier this evening, just hanging out and trying on our new uniforms.” She paused and turned her attention to one of the girls sitting on the couch next to her, who held up a disfigured piece of clothing, practically ripped to shreds and charred to a blackened crisp. 

“Some assholes decided to take the uniforms when we weren’t looking and burn them. Almost all our funding went towards those new uniforms, and now…” Her nose twitched with anger, her fists clenched at her sides. “We can’t play in the tournament without a jersey.” The girls scowled around her, cracking their knuckles, ready for a fight.

“Who did this? Was it another team?!” Sokka growled, discarding his dessert to the side table.

“Not sure. We talked to the host of the tournament, and all the other teams were accounted for at the hotel during the attack.” Suki sucked in her breath, trying to hold back the snarl everyone could see was just bursting in her throat. The girl beside her piped up, crushing the ruined jersey beneath her fingers.

“They called us peasants who weren’t allowed on the island. Said something about us being disgusting and-”

“And then they threatened you!” Katara interrupted, pulling away from Aang’s grasp and standing. Suki sighed.

“They told us to watch our backs. That we were easy targets… or something along those lines.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill them!” Katara hollered and stomped off to the room she and Suki were sharing. Aang sent Sokka a concerned glance, one that understood the true venom in Katara’s tone, then ran off to calm her.

“How are you not more angry about this Suki? These sonsofbitches just-”

“Sokka, believe me, I’m angry. But for now there’s nothing we can do. We can’t go to the island police because you damn well know those rich assholes would just pay them to keep quiet. It’s like a food chain out here. And we’re at the bottom. I’m not saying it's right, but we have to wait for a better opportunity to strike back.” Suki’s reasoning was strong, but Sokka’s blood still boiled as his lips flattened into a thin line to match the firm narrow of his eyes. 

“You have no idea who it could be?” Suki shook her head.

“I mean a few days ago, these three girls were watching us practice and were making some snarky comments, but that’s the only possible person I could think of… and would be the motive to do this? None of us recognized them.” Sokka cursed under his breath and while Katara had a very external outburst, rightfully so he would add, Sokka internalized the anger, letting it gather in the pit of his stomach until it felt like a grenade just waiting for it to go off.

Sokka tuned out Suki as she told the girls to go back to the hotel and get some rest, and gathered up the charred remains of their uniforms, dumping them in the trash on their way out. Aang and Katara had both disappeared down the hall and he figured Katara would be a little ball of fire for the next several hours, and he felt bad for Aang who’s “benefit of the doubt” personality had to calm her. That was like soothing a hurricane. Sokka turned to Toph, who’s expression was emotionless, but that only meant she was thinking.

“Toph?” Sokka reached out and placed a strong hand on her shoulder. She didn’t shrug away, but her expression changed into an anger that rivaled Katara’s.

“I’m fine.” She snapped bitterly. With a quick exhale that brought her back to her stoic expression, she lifted her head. “I need to go blow off some steam. You wanna come?” 

“What do you have in mind?” Toph smiled wickedly. 

“Well after that whole thing, I’d love to get blackout drunk.” She raised her eyebrows and Sokka smiled, catching her drift.

“There’s this really fancy liquor store on main, it had all this rare booze imported from around the world. It doesn’t close until midnight.” Toph grabbed his hand and as adamant as she was about leading the way, Sokka ended up pulling her along, because letting the blind person lead… wasn’t the smartest plan.

  
  


**〜⛭〜**

“You remember the code?” Toph hissed from behind as Sokka peered out on the streets. Across the street was the liquor store, lit up with a display of colorful bottles in the front window. Sokka smiled as two men left, their hands full of pricy tequila.

“Yeah. You remember what you have to do?”

“Please, Sokka. My acting skills are impossible to beat.” Sokka let out a hushed laugh and turned around, sending her a smile.

“Give me five minutes.” She nodded, sending him a thumbs up as he pushed himself out into the open, and “innocently” sauntered across the street and into the store.

“Evening.” He winked, shooting his finger guns. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the most mature choice of greeting, but the man behind the counter only flicked his eyes up from his newspaper once, a gruff hello hanging in his throat. Sokka pretended to glance at the labels, sticking his tongue out in disgust as he passed the champagne. He rounded the corner of the first shelving unit, stacked to the ceiling with wine bottles. His eyes scanned the room, catching the security camera in the corner, guarding the locked glass cases- _ the good stuff _ . Sokka took note, before slipping between two shelves, away from the camera’s view but with a clear shot of the cases. The camera rotated its head every fifteen seconds, taking in a slow scan of the entire room, but especially focused on the locked cases. But for exactly seven seconds, the view of the cases would be missing. He glanced down at his phone, the time gleaming against the yellow lighting of the store. Thirty seconds till show time.

He picked up a bottle of Jameson across from him, flipping the bottle around his hands, the amber liquid sloshing against the sides. Sokka grinned and gripped the spout in his hand. 

“Help, help!” Toph’s cries echoed through the store, and Sokka grinned from his spot between the shelves, catching a glance at the man at the counter, slapping down his newspaper and rushing to the doors. Toph was on her hands and knees, crying out as she blindly searched for her cane, which had fallen a few feet in front of her.

“Miss? Miss are you okay?” Sokka could hear the man, back turned to the glass cases as he helped Toph to her feet just outside the entrance. Sokka tuned them out, and the prolonged and dramatic conversation Toph was having, using her blindness as a weakness. But the second the cane touched her hand, she tapped it against the ground in a series of patterns that only Sokka understood. He snatched the keys from the cashier station, as Toph dragged the man away from the building insisting that she needed help looking for her mom. Sokka took the moment to unlock the cases, and gather as many clinking glass bottles as he could, until his arms were stuffed, and he struggled to balance it all. He grinned at the treasures in hands, but then he heard the familiar,  _ tap-tap… tap… tap.  _

Shit. The man was coming back.

Hastily, Sokka slid into the back room, the keys tumbling to the ground in the process, which only made the cashier’s head turn. Sokka held his breath as the footsteps approached, and from the darkness of the stock room, he slid into the shadows, stashing his collection by the delivery door, using the bottle of Jameson to prop the door.

“Sir?! I need help! I can’t find my cane again!” The man huffed out from the other side, and hurried back to the little blind girl who apparently lost her cane a  _ lot _ . Sokka snickered to himself and slid back out from the supply room and came up behind Toph and the man, empty handed.

“Is everything okay out here?”

“Oh there you are! I lost mom, and so I went looking for you.”

“I told you  _ Eve _ , you can’t go wandering off! Sorry I can take my little sis from here.” Sokka said, pulling Toph towards the door throwing another round of finger guns at the man who stood dumbfounded at the entrance. Sokka continued down the street, pretending to guide Toph until the man’s eyes were no longer on them, and they were able to slip back between the buildings.

“Did you just do finger guns at the guy?” Toph scoffed, leading them down the alley towards the back delivery door. Sokka pulled the bottle of Jameson from its spot and let Toph hold the door as he collected his contents. 

“I did, but that’s besides the point. You deserve an oscar for that performance.” Sokka stuffed the glass bottles into his bag, and tossed it over his shoulder.

“I know right?! Now, let’s get wasted!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! That wraps up chapter 4!!! We’re very slowly inching our way towards something here, but ours boys are just so blind… sorry Toph. 
> 
> Also Akutaq is a Inuit dessert I found and it actually looks really good, so I wanted to incorporate it, since there wasn't much on desserts in the water tribe food. All the food Sokka makes is generally from the southern water tribe, with the exception of the veggies (ughh Aang and his vegetables, am I right?) The Icelandic cod is simply my favorite fish so I threw that in too. 
> 
> ALSO: How opposed are you guys to Zuko knowing how to swing dance and at some point in the future teaching Sokka how to swing dance? Let me know!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	5. Run Boy Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko creates some lists and meets the gang!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 5! More notes at the bottom.
> 
> But again with the trigger warning. I'll let you know every chapter, as well as a list of the things that are triggering. This chapter we have Zuko's self hate (per usual) I can't say that'll change anytime soon, but I know how I am with my internal monologue, and that's how I mirror it onto Zuko. I'm not sure if the pinching of his wrist is considered self harm or not, (I will not escalate anything past the pinching of his wrist) but I used to do that as a way to force my thoughts away from something. I have since stopped that, as it isn't healthy, but I wanted to talk about that briefly for anyone who might be upset by this. If you have any input, please, please let me know! Also brief mentions of child abuse and homophobia. I'll add those to the tags too.
> 
> Otherwise Zuko's just an awkward turtle-duck in this.

**Chapter Five- Run Boy Run**

Zuko rose with the sun. He had always been a morning person, and no matter how late he stayed up, he always woke to the gentle embrace of the sun’s rays, which in early July, was five in the morning. He soon found it to be almost meditative to be up that early, long before his father or Azula would wake, giving him the most peaceful hours of the day. He could wander the house freely, slouch when he drank a morning cup of tea, and didn’t feel the need to be so _on edge_ with his every move and thought. 

He also found that the morning was a great time to make lists. Sometimes he looked at the lists of ways he had fucked up, or basic to-do lists, but most of the time he created them. The night’s events flooded through him, as he stared at the blank sheet of paper before him, placing the point of his pen against the top line. In all caps, he noted “Things I Want To Do.” He stared at with a calm smile. Then, skipping down a couple lines, he began to write.

-Meet “Toph girl” 

-Bake something

-Finish book

-Talk to Sokka

-Change major

-Become friends with Sokka

He stared at the last one, fixated on each letter and strange curvature of the way he wrote Sokka’s name. His handwriting had shifted when he wrote his name, as if giving it its own personality. It was facetious almost, the way his very serious lists now held the comforting font of Sokka’s name scribbled out on the paper. It certainly made things more real. And Zuko for one, couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not.

Zuko hadn’t had much experience with “friends.” Sure, he had Mai and Ty Lee, but they weren’t really friends, they were _something_ of Azula’s, but he was pretty sure he couldn’t call it friendship. There was more fear and respect there than companionship. But then Zuko met Sokka and his ocean eyes that sparkled with energy.

Zuko pinched the skin on his wrist, making him wince. 

Maybe Sokka and him were already friends, but Zuko wasn’t 100% sure, because he had already screwed up enough times. _Just add it to the list,_ he scowled. But Sokka was nice, and made him smile and above all, was forgiving. And Zuko didn’t have much experience with that either. It was to the point where Zuko doubted he deserved that forgiveness, it was easier to push Sokka away. It would save Sokka from his own pity, his own pain that he didn’t need to burden another with. It wouldn’t be fair to Sokka and that bouncy, bright smile. Zuko would only stain it with the darkness that swirled inside. 

_But how could he not compare himself to the mirror that leaked it’s sinister smile of everything writhing inside him, like leviathans desperately bursting from their cage to swim into open waters. If the waters are so open out beyond the horizon, maybe he’d drown._

Zuko stared at the words he had scribbled down next to his list. If it was a poem, it would have been a good poem, but he always deemed himself a horrible poet. He wasn't exactly sure what it had to do with his list, other than the fact that Zuko was in the eye of the hurricane that was his mind. He refocused his vision on Sokka's name, the smiled that tugged on his lips, a true betrayal to his mind. Zuko was selfish -another thing to add to his list of idiosyncrasies, another reason why he didn’t deserve forgiveness- and added Sokka’s name to the list anyway. Because in truth, Sokka was the first person to make him smile since his mother died and there was something poisonous about that truth, and it made Zuko crave it even more.

But he could be _just_ friends with Sokka, no problem. But the last time… the last time, he looked at a boy and took notice of his eyes…

Zuko folded the list until it was a tiny square that could fit in his palm and stuffed it in his back pocket. He glanced at the clock, the hands resting on the seven and the six. Seven thirty. He supposed it wasn’t too early to walk on the beach, and maybe escape Azula’s cold eyes for the day, and maybe his father would leave for the two week long business trip and Zuko could have the slightest bit of freedom. There was no need to bid his father goodbye anyway.

He slid out the back kitchen door and carefully stepped down the steep slope of wooden steps, the same ones Sokka and him had eaten dinner on the night before. He paused and looked back, lips folding into a slight smile, but turned towards the shoreline and took off.

It was so easy for his feet to pound the sand and to let his ankles ache miserably as their stability faltered against the powdery dunes. His arms swung at his sides, matching the heavy puff of breath as he sprinted down the shore, unruly hair flying back. He pushed himself harder, despite the blinding sun and the notion that he had absolutely no idea where he was going. 

But he ran, even with the sun blocking his vision of the path ahead and the sand pulling him back. He didn’t care that his breath was steadily running out of oxygen and his shins clenched with sharp pains against the bone plates. He glanced up at the sky, catching the faintest hint of the moon, shadowed by the sun and its brilliant rays, but there nonetheless. He ran faster, his list securely in his back pocket, reminding him of all that he wanted. And the faster he ran, the more he thought he could really have it.

When he looked back at the moment later, it would be in truth, nothing but an illusion of happiness. A fabrication that he told himself in order to keep his body swimming against the tide and the currents that pulled him under. 

If he wasn’t so stupid, he would’ve let himself drown… at least that’s what he thought. 

**〜⛭〜**

“Suki! I don’t want my hair wet!” Sokka whined from the knee deep water he was wading in. Katara shot Suki a brief glare as she blinked the salt water from her eyes.

“Oh don’t be a big baby, Sokka! Come join us!” 

“I’m a little busy!” He called back, tugging the thick stands of Katara’s hair back, weaving them intricately. Katara leaned her head back at Sokka’s harsh pull but didn’t make a noise of complaint as he was doing her a favor. He stuck his tongue out between his teeth as he pulled her hair into the double french braids, using his own hair tie to secure the second braid, as Katara only had one.

“There! No more knots!” He declared, clapping his hands together. Katara pulled away and spun around, her long hair flying around with her. 

“You’re the best!” She grinned and dove back into the water, arms immediately piercing the surface as she swam out towards the horizon where Aang was, trying to retrieve the Frisbee Suki had thrown too far. Sokka watched his sister swim, a sleek stream of white foam forming behind her as she moved with incredible speed and grace, arms rotating with ease. He turned his head towards Suki, but was met with another face full of water. He spat it back out, glowering.

“Suki!” She laughed, sinking down into the sand beneath her. He turned away from her in a pout, folding his arms sternly over his chest and sticking his chin up in the air.

“Oh don’t be such a grump. Come on!” She motioned for him to follow, but Sokka was long distracted by the figure moving across the beach in long strides, sand kicking up behind them and moving closer with each foot that pounded against the sand. His eyes widened.

“Zuko!” Sokka hollered, waving his hands in the air, flinging droplets of water around him. “Hold on a second, Sooks.” He burst in from the ocean, shaking what water he could from his hair, rushing to push it back, but with his hair tie in Katara’s hair, he couldn’t keep it from flopping in his face.

“Sokka?” Zuko called back, slowing his pace to a light jog. Sokka sprinted to meet him, his friends nothing but colorful dots in the ocean, evening if he could hear their arguing behind him.

“What are you doing on the beach so early? I mean, not that I’m disappointed to see you.” Zuko glanced down and then back up, his eyes getting caught on Sokka's hair, an untamed mess that framed his head with no distinct part. Zuko grinned.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He motioned to Sokka’s swim trunks and then to his friends tossing a Frisbee in the ocean.

“We went out to see the sea turtles that swim by at dawn. Since we were already here, we decided to swim.” Zuko nodded and gazed at the shoreline, the water inching forward, leaving the sand dark in color and flat from the impact. 

“Come on! I’ll introduce you to the gang!” Zuko made a noise of protest but Sokka was already tearing towards them, laughing briskly as beckoned Zuko to follow. Apprehensively, he did, and not only was “talk to Sokka” checked off his list, so was “meet Toph girl.”

“Hey Toph! This is Zuko, the one I was telling you about?” Toph raised an eyebrow, because it was her who had brought the whole Zuko conversation up. But she huffed out a breath, because details, details, and she was still hungover and totally not in the mood to point that out.

“Hey Sparky! Your Uncle gushes about you 24/7.” She said with a grin, and while she couldn’t see it, she knew his whole face lit up like a stoplight. He fumbled over his words and only offered an embarrassed smile and little wave.

“Uh… nice to meet you Toph. My uncle has mentioned you as well. He said that we’d always get along.”

“Cuz’ you’re blind too!” A large smile cracked her face in two.

“Well,” Zuko rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Half blind.” He whispered out.

“Cool! It makes it so much easier to shoplift when you’ve got a factor that society deems a weakness. Well the jokes on them, because I just stole three hundred dollars worth of tequila and got away with it because I’m blind. You want some?” She boosted confidently, while Sokka stood behind Zuko, waving his arms frantically, hissing “shhh” trying to get her to shut up. A small smile surfaced on Zuko’s lips.

“No thank you, but… good job?” 

“Thanks! I should get praised for my theft skills more often.”

“Um, Toph, _I_ was the one to pull off the heist.” Zuko’s head whipped around, affronted. Sokka brought his hands to his hips, but immediately dropped them again, a nervous laugh rising up his throat.

“Yeah, but my acting skills are what allowed you to steal in the first place.” She folded her arms across her chest with a smirk.

“Y-y-you _stole_?!”’ Zuko practically hollered. 

“Uhh, yeah! Sokka and I have a whole scheme! Sugar-queen over there though, condemns it.” Toph pointed towards the splashing waves where Katara laughed, as she held onto Aang’s shoulder for a balanced moment before both of them dunked beneath the surface in fits of muffled giggles. Sokka pushed Toph to the side, sending her a bitter scowl and a hissed a quick _shut up_ under his breath.

“And sugar-queen is…” Zuko asked, trying to change the topic, although he had to admit, was quite amusing.

“My sister, Katara.” Sokka shot out, trying to pull Zuko away from Toph and her bad influences, immediately regretting introducing them.

“She’s the surfer, right?”

“The best of the best! Come on!” Sokka gushed, pulling on Zuko’s hand to approach the shore. Zuko flinched away at the touch, a cloudy haze falling over his eyes as if an illusion had suddenly taken place before him, an out of body experience that left him paralyzed for a moment. 

Sokka paused, dropping Zuko’s hand.

“Zuko?” Zuko suffocated on his words, suddenly feeling the surge of water being stuffed down his throat and stinging his eyes, flashing him back to night where the water almost won. The sensation wasn't really there, but it screwed with Zuko’s mind to the point where he swayed on his feet, uneasy, like a ship bobbing in the water.

“M-Maybe it’s not a good idea…” Sokka tilted his head.

“Meeting everyone else?” Sokka wanted to argue, wanted to refute and get upset, but his smile fell and he nodded. He promised not to push things. But Zuko shook his head sternly, eyes fixated on the water, flickering cautiously over the waves as they crashed against the beech, sending Sandpipers scurrying away and crushing shells into fine grains of sand. 

“...I can call them over.” Sokka responded prudently. 

“I don’t want to interrupt them.” Zuko mumbled. Sokka shook his head with a reassuring, lopsided grin.

“You’re not! They’ll love you! Hey, dipshits- and Suki! Get over here!” 

“Just for that Sokka, I’m not coming!” Katara screamed back in a pout.

“I got someone I want you to meet! And take a joke Katara!” Suki was already dragging Aang from the water, the two of them dunking each other under the surface, before coming for air, and grabbing each other’s legs out from beneath them. Katara huffed out irritably, and swam from the sand bar a hundred meters out from the shore line and back to where Sokka stood.

Zuko stood beside him stiffly as a very energetic kid came bouncing with the waves, Katara grumpily sweeping sand off her legs from behind and a girl with short brown hair already sending him a cheery wave.

“I appreciate you not calling me a dipshit, dipshit.” She snarked, smacking Sokka in the side of the head. He sent her a glare, but the two, obviously close, burst into a fit of giggles, Sokka trying to shove her back in the shoulder, only getting his legs swept out from beneath him, his tailbone smacking the sand.

“Suki! Not fair!” He growled, as Zuko reached forward and helped him up. “Anyway, not that this wasn’t an accurate first impression of you for Zuko, Suki, meet Zuko.” Sokka motioned between them, then going to wipe the sand off his swim trunks.

“It’s very nice to meet you.” Zuko nervously said, but Suki was all smiles as she patted him on the shoulder. He barely contained his flinch.

“Nice to meet you too, Zuko. How exactly do you know each other?” Zuko rubbed the back of his neck, a red tint rising up his neck.

“He was a complete ass to me on the beach a week back-” Sokka was cut off by the intense glare that Suki sent Zuko, already cracking her knuckles. “BUT, I was an ass back, then we bonded over being two asses and now we’re friends!” Suki cocked her head in confusion, but Zuko just exhaled, glad Sokka left out the whole midnight beach conversation, and now that he thought about it, the whole thing at the Jasmine dragon four days before.

“Hi Zuko!” Aang grinned, catching only the end part of Sokka's explanation. “Hey do you like dogs!? Appa’s back at the house but I can bring him! Oh and you’ll have to come by and meet Momo later! But you definitely need to be introduced to Appa!” Zuko assumed Appa was the dog, but the boy spoke so fast and with such a bursting excitement, his words were all a little too much to take in.

“Uhh…” Was all Zuko could manage to get out, but he felt Sokka give him a reassuring smile and for some reason, that was a sense of comfort. His gaze at Sokka’s entrancing blue eyes was averted by the girl who tossed her braids over her shoulders, loose strands sticking to the sides of her face. She held an intense expression and did not spare Sokka a quick glare for his earlier comment.

“And this is my sister!” Sokka laughed out, throwing an arm around her shoulder. Katara shrugged him off, and rested her hands on her hips.

“Uh, hi?”

“Hello.” Sokka rolled his eyes dramatically and shook his sister’s shoulders.

“Come on Katara! Be more enthusiastic!”

“I don’t mean this to sound rude, but.. Why? Because you made a friend?”

“No! Well, yeah. But mostly because look at his cute little face! We can add him to our group of cute little faces!”

“Uh-huh.” Katara huffed out, while Zuko blushed furiously. “Whatever you say Sokka. Well, it’s nice to meet you Zuko, and I apologize ahead of time for my brother and the idiotic things that come out of his mouth.”

“Hey you love my idiotic things!” Katara completely ignored him and gave Zuko a quick smile.

“Well, it’s low tide, so I’m going in for breakfast… would you like to come?” Katara asked, nodding at Zuko. Toph and Aang were already chanting “breakfast”, as the two of them charged back towards the strip of condos atop the hill. 

Zuko admittedly was a little bit overwhelmed by all of them. Okay, a _lot_ _bit_ overwhelmed. He wanted to say yes, but his head was already swirling with all the things that could happen and how easily it would have been for the group to collectively decide that they hated him. He could say something stupid and screw up his chances, or worse, someone could ask him about _him_. He was already closed off to Sokka, and that was the one person, Zuko had begun to feel just the slightest ease of tension with. 

He glanced back at Sokka, who had an arm slung around Suki’s shoulders, and Suki had her arms slung around Sokka, the both of them laughing at some inside joke. Zuko shrunk away, as he always did, fearing that he didn’t belong. Katara didn’t wait for Zuko’s answer as she motioned for Suki to follow. 

“Don’t let Aang put catnip in the eggs again!” Katara yelled as she chased after Toph and Aang, Suki on her heels, leaving Sokka and Zuko standing stiffly on the beach.

“I-I…” Zuko trailed off, unsure of what to say, but Sokka somehow, already understood.

“They’re a little much, I know. _I_ can be a little much.” Zuko frantically shook his head, trying to sway Sokka away from the obvious.

“I like them. I just…” Zuko let his eyes fall, his nails pressing into the palms of his hand.

“It’s okay. Hey Zuko?” Zuko kept his gaze downward at the sand slipping between his toes. He dared not look at the incoming tide that pushed at his fears until they became a nauseating inside consuming him from the inside out. And he dared not look at Sokka and those ocean-blue eyes, wide with curiosity, and concern, and a forgiveness that Zuko had little experience with.

“Yes?” Zuko responded sheepishly, trying to shrink back, trying to hide.

“You don’t have to run away from everything, you know. You don’t need to say anything, just… know that you don’t have to run from me.” Sokka slipped him a shy smile and gentle bow of his head. But then he reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone and handed it to him.

“Add your number. I’ll text you if I have more leftovers to bring by.” Sokka watched tentatively as Zuko put in his number and handed the phone over. 

“I’ll see you later?” Sokka asked, leaning down to catch a glint of the golden eyes, nervously maintaining a downward stare. He smiled when those eyes flickered up to him. “..Right? You made a promise.” 

“I never promised anything other than no more lies.”

“Right, and?” Zuko lifted his head just enough for Sokka to catch the smirk playing on his lips.

“And I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s the chapter! I know its super short, but that’s because I had to split chapter 4 and 5 up. The introduction was brief, but we will have plenty of bonding later, I promise! Oh… and possible swing dancing to come?! Guys, I’m really a sucker for swing dancing, its a problem.
> 
> Thank you so so so much again for the lovely comments! They make my entire week! Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	6. What it Feels like to Sail Off the End of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the worst day of the year in Sokka's eyes and the gaang try to make it better, but riptides have a way of ensuring that doesn't happen. But he supposed, it also made him realize a few things too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everybody! First off I want to thank everyone who’s reading, I love that you love the story and I’m so excited to get into it! Also I am so sorry for this monstrosity of a chapter.
> 
> Second, before I get to the trigger warnings, I just want to say that shit is about to get real… 
> 
> TW: Panic attacks, fear of water (Like if you are freaked out by water then really, this isn’t the chapter for you). Self hate, and internalized homophobia.

**Chapter Six- What it Feels like to Sail Off the End of the World**

Sokka shouldn’t have slept in until one in the afternoon. Sure he was never an early riser, but he never slept past ten. But today he let himself slip away into his marshmallow-like mattress, and press his face into the pillow to block out all the light. Today was the worst day of the year. Worse than finals week at school and worse than his parents anniversary where they spent the day at the cemetery. He didn’t want to think about it, and so he sighed into his pillow, tossed the blanket over his head and let himself doze.

By the time the clock hit three, his door swung open and Katara was standing there, hands on her hips, and her expression firm.

“Alright, quit your moping and get up.” Sokka turned over in bed to face her with a grunt. He blinked bleary eyed at her, his  skin was stretched and sallow, eyes rimmed red and wrinkles of his pillow case imprinted against his right cheek. Katara scanned the room, her eyes falling on the necklace resting soundly on Sokka’s chest. He blinked again, eyes adjusting, seeing Katara’s messy ponytail sitting high on her head, the loose strands wet with sweat and sticking to her temple. She had on her workout tank top and clearly just finished some sort of grueling workout. Aang popped up behind her, his head glistening with sweat. The two had probably been on a run together.  _ Gross.  _ Sokka groaned and turned away from his sister and friend.

“Come on Sokka, it doesn’t do you any good to lock yourself up in here all day.” Aang called out in agreement. Sokka mumbled something that Katara couldn’t make out, and squeezed his eyes shut. Katara sighed and shooed off Aang, stepping into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed, resting her hands carefully in her lap.

“Sokka, I know this day is always hard. But we all worry, I just want you to be okay. I want you to know that you have us, so please don’t isolate yourself. She wouldn’t want that for you.” Katara was careful not to say  _ her  _ name, but Sokka understood. Still, he didn’t move. Katara twisted around, placing a hand on his shoulder. Finally, he spoke.

“I miss her.” Katara sighed and laid down next to him, folding her arms over her chest and staring up at the ceiling. He pushed himself further down into the sheets, feeling his warm breath deflect off the blanket and make his cheeks flush red from the heat.

“I know. It doesn’t mean you should torture yourself like this.” Sokka didn’t shift, instead he opened his eyes, staring at the curtains drawn closed, and lifted his hand to feel the necklace around his neck. He closed his eyes again, and suddenly his warm breath was the searing heat, the memory of smoke making his eyes sting, and the quiet aftermath making him shiver. Suddenly, he sat up, tears in his eyes that had dulled into a gloomy grey.

“I… I should’ve ran after her. Maybe- Maybe I could have-” He choked on his words, refusing to meet Katara’s gaze.

“Sokka, you know that wouldn’t have worked. Then you both wouldn’t have come out.” Sokka held back a sob as Katara sat up slowly, resting a hand on his shoulder again. He tried to nod, but the second he moved his head, a tear slid down his cheek. Immediately Katara reached out, gripping her brother in a tight hug.

“It’ll be okay Sokka.” She whispered as his chest heaved. He didn’t cry anymore, but his whole body felt heavy and at the same time, empty. Like he was being crushed by boulders and his nerves failed to work all at once. He hated the sensation, but couldn’t shake it as he fell deeper into its depths. She let go of him cautiously, and looked him the eye.

“We should celebrate.” Sokka raised a brow in confusion. “Her birthday. We shouldn’t mourn her today, we should celebrate her life. We can go get mint chocolate chip ice cream -her favorite- and then tomorrow we can go swimming at dawn. All of us. Remember how she used to drive out to the coast on Sunday mornings, and take us with her?” Sokka wiped his eyes and smiled softly, images of those peaceful, cool mornings on the beach, and how quickly they were taken from him. He nodded and cleared the thickness in his throat.

“And she would always look for seashells-”

“Shaped like the moon.” Katara finished. They smiled at each other. Sokka lifted his hand to his neck, fishing out the necklace that he wore at all times. At the end of the cord was half a sand dollar, it’s crescent shape grinning like the moon beaming down on him. He had made it for Yue only weeks before… up until that day she had worn it everywhere. He pulled it off his neck and rested it gingerly in Katara’s hands. She marveled at it, glancing up once or twice to check Sokka’s tearful expression. She rested it in his palm again, curling his fingers over the little shell and smiled softly.

“Come one,” She said finally, tugging him by the wrist and leading him out of the room. “Let’s get the others and go get some ice cream.”

**〜⛭〜**

As it turned out, what Sokka needed was a monstrous five scoop ice cream in a waffle cone coated in chocolate sprinkles. Oh yes, he was going to be sick for days after consuming the frozen treat, but he really didn’t care. 

Aang and Katara decided to split a milkshake, the two of them being disgustingly sweet as they jokingly bickered over the straw, taking the shake out from under the other. Toph made faces at the pair as she devoured her own ice cream. But Sokka remained silent, letting the sun beat down on his back and savored every single lick of the ice cream. Okay, so maybe Katara had been right. Not that he would have admitted it to her.

Sokka scanned at the shops that lined down the only true street on the island, expensive designer stores and boutiques that Sokka could only afford if he used his college tuition money. He did see a bag in one of the shop windows that he really liked, but the second he saw the seven hundred dollar price tag, he quickly made a u-turn out of the store. 

His mind still wandered however, as he thought about Yue. He still saw her in everything. He saw her sitting next to Katara, quietly enjoying their company, he saw her feeding the seagulls little pieces of her cone, he saw her trying on every pair of sunglasses at the Ray Bans store across the street. To say he missed her was an understatement.

He scanned the crowd, picking out other things that reminded him of Yue, but his eyes fell on a girl with sleek black hair and a red crop top, black jean shorts, and flashy gold jewelry. He knew who she was immediately.

“Azula!” He called out. The first time he briefly met her, she wasn’t exactly friendly, but neither had Zuko. So, Sokka supposed a second chance was in order. Azula didn’t want to acknowledge him right away, but she sighed and approached their table, realizing it would be inescapable.

“Uh… Zuko’s friend.”

“Sokka.”

“Right. I see you’re still on the island. It must be a fortune to have to rent those little condos.” She stated, glancing at her red nails, clearly unamused by the boy and his friends. Something felt condescending about her tone, but he shrugged it off.

“Actually my sister won a competition, and a summer on Ember Island was the prize.” Azula was  apathetic as she only hummed a response out of boredom . Katara looked up, sending Azula a glare.

“Well, isn’t that cute.” She responded flatly, finally. “Don’t get too comfortable.” She paused, smirking at the group. “There are some truly rich snobs here, who are always looking for a target. Someone who stands out as much like your little group, well, you know.” Katara’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second, then a radiant anger set in, concealed only for her brother’s sake.

“Thanks for the warning.” Katara spat sarcastically. Sokka sent her a quick glare, before looking back up at Azula, flashing her a smile.

“It’s been nice here so far, but thanks!” Sokka responded, intentionally dodging the topic of the Kyoshi Warriors and their uniforms. “Well, I don’t want to keep you. I’ll see you later, oh and tell Zuko I said hi!” Sokka said, a huge smile growing on his face. Azula caught the expression and her lips curled into a cruel smirk.

“Of course. Zuzu has taken quite a liking to you. I mean, I think you are his first friend.” She sneered out the last part, but the sadistic smile was still plastered to her face, subtle, but there. She turned and left without a goodbye. The second she disappeared into a shop across from the ice cream parlor, Katara slammed her fist on the table jolting the whole group.

“It was her!” She sneered, aggressively, ripping out her phone and sending a lengthy text to Suki who had been with the team all day.

“That?” Toph asked, mouth full of ice cream. Sokka and Aang exchanged nervous glances.

“She was the one to burn the team’s uniforms! She called us targets! Suki said the same girls told the team that! It has to be her!” Katara jumped up, grasping the edge of the wood table with such rage that the wood groaned beneath her fists.

“I’m gonna beat the shit outta her!” It was Sokka who jumped up next, melting drops of ice cream dripping across his hand from the movement. He threw his hands out to stop her, but Katara pushed him away, pulling herself out of the picnic table.

“Katara, what are you talking about?! That’s Zuko’s sister!”

“So?!” She hissed, eyes narrowed into a harsh and unforgiving glower.

“So, I don’t think she would do something like that!” 

“How would  _ you _ know? You barely know her, and you barely  _ know Zuko _ for that matter. Maybe he was responsible too! Face it Sokka, the kid is probably a spoiled brat down to the core and I wouldn’t be surprised if he did it! You saw how anxious he was when he saw Suki too! It all adds up!” She hollered the last part, making heads turn as she slammed her fist on the table again. Aang’s face twisted up as he thought for a second.

“Sokka, she isn’t… wrong.” He said with a slight shrug. He sent Sokka a sympathetic smile, which Sokka rejected with a glare.

“Zuko wouldn’t do that! What the hell is wrong with you? I know he’s hasn’t exactly been the most open of people, but it’s not for the reasons you think.”

“Then what is the reason? Huh?” She growled. Sokka was affronted, but his face fell as his argument suddenly was lost. Katara leaned forward, intimidating in all her fury, and Sokka sat back down.

“I- I don’t know…” Sokka pulled his hand back, sighing in defeat. “But he wouldn’t do this. That much, I know.” Katara snatched her bag from the table, whipped around, and stalked off. Sokka was fuming, as Aang tried to reassure him that he believed him, before taking off after Katara, probably to say the exact same thing. Sokka turned to Toph, who was still gnawing on the cone.

“What do you think about this?!” Toph shrugged.

“I barely know the guy. But for the record, Katara, barely knows the guy and  _ you  _ barely know the guy. I think there’s no way to answer this unless you talk to him. But I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again for you dunderheads, Zuko hasn’t had the best home life, from what I’ve been told. You said there was a reason for his closed off appearance. Figure out why.”

“I-I don’t want to push him, that’s all.”

“Look I get it. But how long are you willing to go on like that? The one-sided openness only works for so long.” She stood, inhaling the last of her ice cream and wiped her hands on her tank top. Sokka clenched his fist.

“I’m willing to wait for as long as it takes. I’m not going to ultimatum him.” She nodded in understanding and a little bit of admiration. 

“You’re a good guy, Sokka… tell anyone I said this and you’re dead.” He gave her a weak smile and nodded. Sokka tugged at the necklace around his neck, pulling it over his head and gripping the shell in his hand. He sighed softly and glanced down the main street to where in the distance, the giant mansion was perched atop its hill. 

Something stirred inside him, maybe it was the determination of proving Zuko’s innocence to Katara, or maybe it was the nervous build up of the thought,  _ what if Zuko was responsible? _ He pushed the thought away harshly, refusing to believe such a thing. Zuko was kind and understanding and the most amazing listener Sokka had ever met. It had been a week since he had introduced Zuko to the rest of the group, and while the group and Zuko hadn’t interacted since, Sokka had met up with him everyday. Whether it was to bring leftovers, which he quickly learned to use the servant entrance and go up the back steps, or to wander the beach, away from the water, as he noticed, but never minded, Sokka loved every second of it. He loved every text between Zuko and him, and although they weren’t lengthy conversations and mostly initiated by Sokka, there was an excitement that came with the exchanges. Today however, Sokka had turned off his phone and hoped to never turn on social media, with its out pour of memories or people messaging their sympathies. He didn’t even think about texting Zuko, he just wanted to be alone. But in the middle of the main street, with a feud brewing between his sister and him, melting ice cream in his hand and the buzzing public swirling around him, his wish had come true. He shrunk back, never having felt so alone in his whole life.

**〜⛭〜**

Sokka had taken Toph home that night. When he arrived at the empty house, he was grateful, leaving Toph to the TV in the living room and collapsing onto his bed. It was messy still from earlier, but he fell asleep, still fully clothed, just wishing that the day would finally end.

When he woke up, he felt just as shitty as the day before, and he wanted nothing but to hide under his blankets. He blinked slowly, glancing at the clock and it’s flashing four thirty. He wondered if Katara was still holding onto the morning swim idea. But as quickly as the idea flashed through his mind, his bedroom door was thrown open and Katara was there in her light blue bikini top and white running shorts, hair done up in a messy braid.

“Get up, sleepyhead! I made a promise, didn’t I?” Sokka groaned and glowered at her, but she simply took that as an invitation and began to riffle through his drawers, pulling out his navy blue swim trunks and throwing them at his head. 

“Kataraaaaaaa.” He groaned again and pushed the sheet off, swinging his legs lazily over the side of the bed. 

“Look,” Katara started, before pausing to push him off the bed and urge him to get moving as she made the bed for him. “I’m sorry about my explosion yesterday. It wasn’t very fair of me. I’m not saying I trust Zuko yet, but I’m willing to let him tag along to get to know him before I make a decision about him.” Sokka looked up at her, eyebrows furrowed.

“So… you’d be okay if I invite him today?” The thought crossed Katara’s mind, and her lips pursed in a way that made her want to say no, but she nodded anyway.

“Sure.” Sokka shrugged his pajama shirt over his head and threw it to the ground, making Katara huff out in irritation, saying something about being a little more tidy, but Sokka ignored her. He also ignored the slew of texts from his friends back home, filled with heart and praying emojis and “sorry’s” that felt empty. He clicked on Zuko’s contact, but found himself calling.

_ “...Hello? _ ” Came a sluggish voice on the other side.

“Zuko? Hey! So we’re going down to the beach right now, meet us there?”

“ _...Sokka, I don’t know if time’s irrelevant to you, but it’s four thirty in the morning. _ ” Katara slipped out of the room as Sokka pressed the phone closer to his ear.

“Yeah, I know…”

“ _ You didn’t text yesterday. Is everything okay? _ ” There was a long pause on Sokka’s side, as he went through his thoughts and the events of yesterday, trying to keep his tone light and energetic. Zuko didn’t need his problems too.

“Umm, yeah. I- It was Yue’s birthday. That day is always hard, so I’m sorry I was-”

“ _ I understand. I’ll be there in twenty. _ ” With that, the phone beeped at Sokka, letting him know that the line was cut. He tossed his phone into the tangle of sheets and slid on his swim trunks and pulled an old t-shirt over his head. He glanced back at his pillow, the crescent shell resting on the edge of the mattress near his head. He gingerly picked it up and untangled the cording from the shells corners and slipped it over his head. With it swinging gently across his chest, he hurried from the room, the others already gathering in the main room.

“There he is!” Suki beamed. She wrapped him in a hug, stable and strong as always. She was the only person who he’d let hug him this time of year… well he supposed Katara hugged him too, but he never had much say in that decision.

She let go and mouthed “Okay?”, of which he could only offer a slight nod of his head. Hating the several pairs of eyes watching him like a hawk, he motioned towards the door, trying to move the group out of the house. Aang laughed as he kissed Katara’s cheek, grabbing her surfboard for her, she grabbing his hand in the process as they hurried down towards the beach. Toph and Suki were already amidst a betting game to see who would fall off the paddle board first as Suki grabbed the paddle board meant for two, and Toph held the life jackets in her arms. Suki called for Sokka to follow, but he stood frozen at the door, watching their figures get smaller as they disappeared down the street and over the grassy hill towards the shoreline. Sokka pictured Yue already in the sand, messy bun of white hair flopping over as she crouched close to the dunes, pushing the fine grains, sticky from the water, digging for shells.

He watched her apparition traveling down the shore, leaving no footprints, as the elegance and serene light that filled her, followed the trail of sunlight. He saw her touch the water, the incoming tide foaming around her always perfect pedicure. She looked down and smiled, as if greeting some old friend. And she stood there, arms out as the breeze swept her away. Sokka’s imagination was suddenly brought to a halt, Yue’s apparition momentarily forgotten as he saw the familiar lanky figure make his way towards the beach, leaving strong foot prints with each step, wind tussling his hair. And for the first real time in the last two days, Sokka smiled.

“Zuko!” He called out, hand waving high, as he found himself running through the tall coastal grass, the ground firm beneath him, until it gave out into the soft sands that sent his knees buckling beneath him and sent him face first into the sand. He cursed, shaking sand off him, but paused hearing a truly brilliant sound.

Laughter. From Zuko. 

Zuko reached him a handful of seconds later, quickly composing himself and clearing his throat.

“You laughed!” Sokka grinned.

“I… did? Oh.” Zuko handed Sokka his own towel, letting him shake the rest of the sand from his hair. 

“I guess this means I’m going to have to trip and fall more often.” Sokka chuckled playfully. “Come on! Katara’s going out to the sand bar, and we’re gonna time her. You don’t have to get in the water though. Toph doesn’t cuz, well she can’t swim. She does sometimes go out on the paddle boat with Suki, but I promise I won’t leave you on the beach.”

“I don’t want to keep you from swimming.” Zuko mumbled, head falling to his shoulders. Sokka reached out, slowly, and made sure that Zuko caught the movement before the contact, and placed his hand on Zuko’s shoulder. 

“You’re not. I promise.” Sokka lingered there for a second, but quickly became conscious of the movement, pulling his hand away. They had made it to the beach where Aang and Appa waded in the knee deep water as he timed Katara’s swim out to the sandbar, very animated in his cheers. Appa barked along, slashing and snorting out sea water as he bounced. Suki was helping Toph on the paddle board, Toph nervously holding onto Suki’s hand for balance, fully dependent on her. 

“We can hang out here if you want. Watching the sunrise is the best part.” Sokka went on about describing the sunrises back home, of which Zuko intently listened to, taking in each word and resembling his story into a poem in his head, or maybe a short story. Zuko wasn’t sure on which it was, but he found himself over-processing every one of Sokka’s words, as if it was the most interesting tale in the world. Sokka laid out the beach towels, the red one Zuko had brought next to his blue one with white waves around the edges. He peered out towards the waves, watching them roll in, in sleek foaming strips, crashing against the earth and retreating back as a foamy silver. Zuko sat down next to him, cross-legged, taking in the earliest hints of the morning sun. He closed his eyes and began to breathe, feeling the salty air travel through his lungs and exhale in one even, warm breath. Sokka had been right about it being the best part of the morning. The best of anything in Zuko’s mind. Sokka caught himself staring at Zuko, the way his pale skin glowed against the lazily rising sun. The way each deep breath was filled with intention, like he was breathing in the whole tide with his inhale and sending the tide back with each exhale. It was almost ethereal, and Sokka suddenly realized he could never get tired of staring.

For that realization however, he forced his eyes away from Zuko and stared out at the waves again, spotting Katara out on the sand bar, grinning as she stood, Aang calling out a new record. Sokka leaned back on his hands and stretched out his legs, finally feeling the beginnings of relaxation set in. His thoughts were not lost on Yue, but for now, he was pleasantly preoccupied, listening to the steady rhythm of Zuko’s breathing with each incoming wave. He squinted, drawing his line of sight from the sandbar that Katara still stood on, over 100 meters from the shore, to the white lines of waves, suddenly broken with an invisible wall. He lifted his chin, trying to catch a better glimpse of the strange layout of the waves, but realized almost immediately what it was.

His eyes suddenly burst open and he was frantically shaking Zuko’s shoulder startling him from his mediation as he leapt up. His eyes immediately darted to the sandbar, but Katara wasn’t there.

“Riptide!” Sokka screamed, bursting into a sprint as he charged to the shore, and reeled Aang in. “Where’s Katara?” Aang's eyes widened in panic.

“She just dived in to come back!” He grabbed Appa by the collar pulling him and the massive dog back up and away from the water’s edge. Sokka scanned the water, faintly catching a blur of brown hair and tan skin drifting further and further away from the sandbar and out to the open seas.

“Shit. Katara! KATARA!” Sokka shrieked as he watched her push her head above the surface desperately gulping in air as the waves slammed her against the heaviness of the current sending her limbs surging the other direction. She tried to call back, but sea water shoved its way down her throat as she tirelessly tried to break free from the rip currents grasp. But as she fought, she quickly felt her stamina dissipating, and once the current broke, she would be too far from land to swim back. Sokka caught this immediately and dove into the water, without thinking, without so much as a second’s hesitation. He just hit the water in one hard clap, t-shirt wet and clinging to his skin as it dragged him back along with the incoming waves, but he twisted his torso and kicked his legs, getting to Katara as fast as he could.

Water surged into his ears making the muffled hollers from the others, cloudy and distant as he exhaled harshly, taking a massive gulp for air in return and pushing himself harder. Once he felt his feet hit the stability of the sand bar, he rested only for a second, letting his lungs take in the air instead of the water. But then all of a sudden, he could no longer stand, as he was being dragged out towards sea in the watery trap. He pushed himself off, letting the riptide sweep him away too, except this time he used to propel him forward. His arms screamed in pain, the muscles tightening and begging for a rest, but he simply grunted and blinked back the salt that stung his eyes.

But there! He felt something other than water brush against his arm, forcing him to pry his burning eyes open, Katara flailing as she tried to reach out to catch him. She had put herself in a floating position trying to retain her energy, still struggling to get a steady breath of air against the rapidly strengthening waves.

“Sokka!” She gasped out, as Sokka fought against the current, gripping her wrist. Desperate to grab onto something solid, survival instincts kicked into overdrive, causing Katara to wrap herself around Sokka as another wave dunked them under. At an attempt to push to the surface, she pressed his shoulders down, keeping him under and choking on the water. Her weight made him dizzy, but his own survival instincts kicked in, as he separated from her. He gasped out as he split the foam of the breaking wave, wheezing as Katara’s frantic gurgles of water came from beside him, the current pushing her away as she kicked against it, hand outstretched.

“I got you! I got you!” He reassured, pressing his fingers deep into her wrist again, determined not to let the water break his grip. He repeated the statement over and over between gags of saltwater, hoping it would sink in, although he wasn’t sure if he even had himself. “Swim… parallel!” He lifted his hand above the water pointing outward for Katara to follow. He held onto her as they pushed against the water, and fighting each other as the lack of stability forced their brains to swell with panic. Their legs bucked frequently, feeling the lull of the darkness below the surface as exhaustion set in. Katara gasped as she glanced at the shoreline, Aang and Toph screaming for them in the distance, but she could barely hear. Everything felt hazy and tiresome.

“Keep- going!” Sokka choked out, pulling her body closer as his one arm failed to rotate and his whole body slipped under the surface, before his lungs -so desperate to keep him alive- forced him up for air again. But falling down into the darkness was so much easier. Still, he resisted, until he felt the gentle pulse of the water hit his fingertips, no longer the constant, backbreaking pressure of the current. He kicked out twice more, finally freeing himself from the riptide. Katara was able to follow, collapsing onto her back, letting the waves roll under her as she floated, catching her breath and giving her limbs a break from the constant rotating motions that sent them into a cramping frenzy. 

“We made-” Sokka was cut off by a wave, the surges getting rougher the further they drifted from shore, smashing against his head, dunking him beneath the surface, his world becoming a swirl of bubbles and foam and pressure that made his eardrums pound and his lungs give one last cry as he slipped beneath the surface. water filled his stomach and lungs and throat and nasal cavity in sickening, burning ripples of pain, causing him to open his mouth the gasp, resulting in another sharp intake of sea water. He heard a sound against the clapping of waves, it sounded like a scream, but it was so muffled that he really didn’t care to try and figure out the source. He was so exhausted. So exhausted…

His lungs fought for a few more breaths, heart throbbing through his whole body, as his hand pierced the surface, jostled by the roaring waves merciless against him. 

His eyes slipped shut.

Maybe, just maybe he hoped that it really was a hand that snagged his arm, pulling him out of the darkness and into the sunlight.

**〜⛭〜**

Zuko stood on the shoreline in complete shock, his whole body paralyzed as he watched what unfolded in the water. Suki had charged out into the water, evading the riptide, pulling the paddle board from the cord attached to her foot. With the oar strapped to the board she dived out towards the two faint people struggling to keep above the surface. 

Zuko watched them be pushed further and further towards the horizon.  _ Towards the edge of the world. _ He could hear Toph screaming, asking to know what was happening, panic lacing her tone. Aang only responded as he continued to scream Katara’s name, pacing the edge of the water. He wasn’t as strong of a swimmer and knew there was nothing he could do. He felt utterly helpless. Zuko on the other hand, just stood there, horrified, his whole body swaying as he hazily fixated on Suki, pulling Katara onto the paddle board, the board shifting with the waves. But as his eyes scanned the area, Sokka was nowhere to be seen. He felt everything within him collapse. His heart stopped beating, his lungs stopped taking in air, his throat swelled shut. He did manage to blink once as Katara let out a guttural scream, scared and broken as she called out for her brother, missing from the surface.

Zuko knew his hands were shaking, enough to rival the absolute tremble of his earth and ground beneath his feet as suddenly the thought of the loss of something…  _ someone _ he barely knew crashed into him and it wasn’t only the PTSD of that night in the water that flooded him. And with that, he broke through the frozen state and charged towards the water, his whole body on fire from his raging nerves, but the second he felt the water swarm at his ankles, he yanked himself back, choking on the air that surrounded him.

But then he saw a hand barely pierce the surface, slipping beneath each wave, but Suki had caught it, tugging with all her energy as the limp boy was heaved from the water and dragged onto the paddle board. Zuko took one glance at Sokka’s pale and lifeless form before his head hit the sand in a painful crack and the glorious moments of the sunrise were nothing but blankets of red, burning lights against his eyelids.

**〜⛭〜**

Zuko cracked open his eyes to meet Aang’s worried grey eyes. Aang shook him awake and Zuko didn’t push away from the touch as he struggled to get his brain working again.

“You passed out! Zuko? Can you hear me?” Zuko managed a weak nod, grunting at the sizable bump on the back of his head, tender to the touch under his sand covered hair. There was a steady ringing in his ears, a buzz of something, a pulsing crash of… it all came back to him. His eyes shot wide open as he burst upright. He glanced to his right to see a body being dragged across the sand, and blinked, realizing it was Sokka. Katara collapsed a few feet away in the sand, breath heavy as she struggled to stand and her legs shook beneath her. As quickly as Aang had appeared over Zuko, he was over Katara, sliding to his knees and letting her fall into his grasp as he cradled her in his arms, brushing the clumps of sand off her knees.

“Sokka…” She croaked out, reaching one arm out towards Suki who had rapidly begun CPR. _This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening._ _This couldn’t be happening!_

Toph pulled Zuko to his feet, his head throbbing and neck aching horribly as he tried to catch his bearings. Without thinking about his crumbling knees and hitching breath, he slid down next to Suki, hands trembling as he tried to ask to help, but found himself frozen in time. It was like watching a slow motion film, as Suki pounded her palms against Sokka’s chest, crying out, begging for him to breathe. And with that, somewhere, someone granted Sokka a second chance as his chest suddenly heaved and his back arched as water pooled in his mouth and a rough cough pushed it out of his lungs. Sokka’s eyes opened as he twisted in the sand, a muffled groan transforming into the violent sensation of him vomiting up sea water and bile, his throat running raw.

“Sokka!” Katara called out, bursting from Aang’s arms, and into Sokka’s, tears pouring down her face, mixing with the grains of sand stuck to her skin. She pulled him into her chest, as he panted, gasping her name.

“Katara?! Katara, are you okay?” He rasped out, Suki tackling him in a hug on the other side, and Aang and Toph collapsing into them not long after. Zuko fell back into the sand, his heart pounding in his ears and practically bursting from his chest. Tears threatened to spill, completely overwhelmed by the situation and stench of saltwater that made him dizzy again.

“Am I okay?! You saved my life!” She shook his shoulders, pulling away only to look him in the eye. Zuko was still on his knees a few feet away, hyperventilating as the world collapsed around him again, the adrenaline and fear pulsing off him. Sokka was the only to catch this amidst the chaos and promptly pulled away from the group, inching his way to Zuko. Sokka didn’t falter or think about Zuko’s issues with touch and he reached out and grasped his shoulders pulling him into a tight hug. Zuko’s whole body shook, but he hugged back, body melting into the touch he had seldom felt before. Sokka’s arms were wrapped firmly around his shoulder blades and back, rolling back gently to sit in the sand.

“It’s okay Zuko. I’m alright, see?” Zuko pulled away his eyes glassy as he scanned Sokka up and down. The rest of the group peered at them, not understanding the exchange other than the fact that Sokka clearly knew something about Zuko the rest of the group didn’t.

“Zuko? You hit your head when you passed out. I can go-”

“You passed out?!” Sokka pulled away from the embrace, being the one to scan Zuko over this time.

“I’m okay. I-I…” Zuko stood and took a step back. His eyes widened, seeing Sokka drenched, still coughing out droplets of ocean water, his eyes red from the salt. Zuko had done nothing to protect him. He hadn’t stopped Sokka from plunging into the water, he hadn’t jumped in after Sokka, and he didn’t go out with Suki to bring them in. He was completely useless. A failure.

Add it to the list.

The one person he had the urge to protect, the one person he felt himself trust had slipped between his fingertips and he had just let it all happen. Zuko ran a hand through his hair, gripping at strands as the air built up in his throat in a painful lump.

_ All his fault. _

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”

“Sorry about what?” Sokka asked, cocking his head. Aang held onto Katara again, the two of them changing a nervous glance. Sokka reached out, his arm shaking from exhaustion, begging him to sit back down. Sokka ignored it, his thoughts immediately going to Zuko and the fear that pooled in his eyes. Sokka hated the look, he so badly just wanted to see him smile.

“I’m sorry.” Zuko repeated tears springing to his eyes as he vigorously shook his head and backed away. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help. I’m-”

“Zuko- what? It’s-'' But Sokka blinked and Zuko was gone as he took off across the sands, disappearing towards the boardwalk up on the borders of the coastal grasses. 

**〜⛭〜**

Sokka had so badly wanted to chase after Zuko. Hell, he had tried, but Suki had grabbed him by the waist, and curse her Kyoshi strength because she held him back, as he called out for Zuko, trying to reach him, but his voice was broken by the wind and desperate heaves for air as he lungs still tried to recover. His voice cracked against his burning throat as he hollered, but collapsed into Suki’s weight.

And now he was back in his room, in the dark, wrapped in the five million blankets Katara had rolled him up in, forced to stare at the wall across from his bed. His head pounded furiously like a weather vane in a lightning storm. His eyes rolled back into his sockets, sleep quickly winning over as he fell into a rhythm of hoarse breaths. Katara was next to him in the queen sized bed, long since fallen asleep, since she had come in to share her laptop and watch a movie. Mostly it was to help keep Sokka’s mind off of the morning’s events, but it didn’t work much. Katara passed out quickly and Sokka had turned off her laptop, for what was the point?

His stomach gurgled with hunger, but the intake of water had made him nauseous, leaving him in a continuous cycle between hunger pains and the feeling of vomit rising up his throat. He coughed, wincing at the soreness of his esophagus and windpipe. He blinked slowly, and as easy as it would have been for him to sneak out and find Zuko and make sure  _ he  _ was okay, Sokka knew he couldn’t escape sleep for long. Still though, his mind wandered. The flashing images of water distracted him now and again, but mostly he found himself picturing Zuko on the beach, relaxed and serene as he mediated with the sun, drawing it to rise with each intentional inhale.

_ He was beautiful. _

Where the hell did that come from? Sokka’s expression twisted into something puzzling, but too exhausted to fight his own thoughts, he let himself mentally draw the lines of Zuko’s face, his sharp jaw and thin lips- and the way they stretched into a smile when Sokka made a bad joke. His chest tightened.

Determined to do something other than stare at the wall and let his imagination drift, he lifted himself out of bed, muscles groaning in response. He padded over to his desk and grabbed his sketchbook and new pencil case -already filled with his expensive colored pencils he didn’t let anyone touch- and returned to his spot. He pulled up his knees to balance his sketchbook and began to retrace the lines from his memories, cascading the background in an array of light purples and yellows fading into an orange at the center. He drew the sharp jaw, and perfectly pointed nose, and lips curled into a subtle smile. He traced the messy hair, tussled by the wind. He moved onto the eyes, corners crinkled with the smile, using his gold pencil to outline the irises. He brought his hand up to the scar across his eye, curious by the story of it, but so utterly mesmerized by how it shaped Zuko’s face.  _ He was beautiful.  _ He didn’t even question the internal remark again as he gazed at the drawing, his pencil falling loose from his fingertips. His eyes slipped shut as he fell back into the warmth of the blankets and his head fell against the mountain of pillows behind him. He didn’t fight sleep this time, and his thoughts settled down for the time being, the sketch still in his lap.

**〜⛭〜**

_ I can feel it coursing through my veins, pumping with my blood in a rhythmic joke of my invisible pain. My eyes are wide with fear, but feel heavy with this overwhelming sense of exhaustion, as if the world is spinning too fast for me to catch wind. Or perhaps my head is the one spinning too fast and the world is going at a perfectly normal speed, but the endgame is so far and the journey appears to be much too slow. _

_ I can’t decide on the feeling whichever it might be, but I am certain that I can feel it. It’s there, like the ominous band of storm clouds, seemingly far away, but moving in quick with each shaky breath of the breezes' last fair warning. I close my eyes and it is as if I never closed them, all I see is the idiosyncrasies that I scold myself for having. With each blink it is like an earthquake is crumbling down upon me, screaming at me for all that I feel I am not worth. And yet the storm clouds still gather. And I still sit blankly, as if my invisible pain is nothing more than a sharp blow knocking me off my feet as I pretend that I am standing in the ever peaceful eye of the hurricane, when really I know the storm is a blizzard, ever the less merciful and ever the more unpredictable. But this is as I feel.  _

_ I wonder if the world is spinning too fast. Music pumps through my eardrum at all times, rhythm of life and just as I could never seem to grasp that piano solo, I cannot take hold of this rhythmic pattern of life. Everyone else seems to find it so easily, following along in this journey, fighting the storm and coming across the clarity on the other side. They all speak of rainbows, but the rainbows tie their tongues, lies that hiss between the spaces of teeth, just as sharp as a fox’s canines. It’s so clear to see the transparency of the rainbows, so why do I still yearn to follow its distant path to the fools gold? But like the roots of an oak tree through treacherous rains and years of erosion, I feel as if I’m trapped in place while the world keeps spinning.  _

_ But then that makes me wonder; what if my head is the one moving too fast? It is only human nature that we find another cause, another entity to blame, whether it is a person, nature, or a god. But I know that what I feel could very well be my own head, screaming out into an empty horizon on a silent night, with the dreaded await of an answer or echo, what’s worse, I do not know. But I cannot tell for certain what I see when I look at this horizon on this silent night, a place that should be so peaceful, with it’s absence of incessant buzzing or words that fill my aching ears with dry sobs of my own pitiful sorrows. There is much worse in this world then how I am feeling. That I am certain of. _

_ But how can I not compare myself from the mirror that leaks it’s sinister smile of everything writhing inside me, like leviathans desperately bursting from their cage to swim into open waters. If the waters are so open out beyond the horizon, maybe I’ll drown. _

_ I don’t want to drown, another feeling I am sure of. The darkness below is much worse than above and from below you can see the moonlit shadows reflecting the smallest hint of light that I once could remember fondly, and whether curse or not, it can pull me back to the surface. I am worried about drowning, but it's a battle for breath that I have to fight much more frequently.  _

_ There is a difference between breathing and living. I can live just fine, my body works like brand new, well oiled gears of a grandfather clock, the chimes bouncing back and forth in the mocking rhythm of which I cannot catch. But I am worried that I cannot breathe. The band of storm cloud which whooping winds like the last guttural calls of some lonesome raven, shielding her feathers in the cloak of darkness, but the wind knocks the great oak tree off its feet. _

_ I can feel it coursing through my veins. My hands shake like the grounds of the blackened volcanic soil, unsteady and dangerous to walk across. As black as night it forms from the destruction of the earth and cracks the island in two, far from the rainbows and horizons, as the island sits dreadfully lonely out in the open waters just above the surface. It’s own self destruction is clear with each shake and cry, the soul draining down the mountain side, shielding what happy beaches lay below with its eternal darkness.  _

Zuko placed down his pen, staring at the words he just scribbled onto the page. He had taken a break from his “going nowhere” story and sighed softly. Tears fell down his cheeks as he reread the words, feeling the pain spread like rose vines across his chest, the thorns digging into his lungs, stabbing at his being. His fingers trembled as he cracked his knuckles and leaned back against the wall of his closet. It was safe here. Dark, quiet. It allowed him to drown himself.

He was nothing but a coward.  _ Useless. Stupid. Nothing. _

He suppressed a groan, his head throbbing horribly as he reached up to press his palms against his eyes. He felt the texture of his scar and quickly moved his hand away. He was curious about what he looked like, but he didn’t have the strength to look. Maybe he believed he deserved it. He shut himself down, curling into the large sweater and finding himself drifting off to sleep, a cruel, nightmare filled sleep that did nothing to ease the pain.

**〜⛭〜**

_Choking._ _Blurry. Pain, pain, pain. No breath. No sounds. Fading._

Zuko woke up in a cold sweat, his whole body riddled with a trembling dry sob, his eyes blinking back tears as he stifled a scream. He thought back to that night and his whole throat swelled shut. He reached out in the darkness of the closet, where not even the daylight slipped through under the door, signaling that the depths of the night had set in.

He reached for his phone and struggled to focus on the screen, hitting the first button he could find. His brain didn’t process what he was doing until the steady ring on the other side only buzzed from the line once and a voice came from the other side.

“ _ Zuko _ ?” Panic. Zuko couldn’t breathe, couldn’t feel. Sokka’s name barely made it out of his lips, before he felt the suffocating pressure against his chest.

“ _ I’m on my way. _ ” The line went dead and Zuko was left in the shrouding darkness. With the closet feeling incredibly claustrophobic, he picked up his notebook and left it’s fading security and hurried down the empty halls of the house, to the back steps, off the kitchen, hoping to escape. He collapsed on the lower wood, paint peeling and splinters getting snagged on his skin as he sat, gulping in as much air as he could possibly get in. He looked down at his hands, and the notebook in his lap. The words ran through his head again, and with the dream still drifting in his mind, it all tangled together into one massive mess.

Zuko wondered if this was what it was like sailing off the edge of the world. Or maybe sailing off the edge of the world was painless. He’d like to think it was the latter, but something told him, it wasn’t. 

The pounding of feet against creaky wooden steps caused him to shoot up with alert, but it was Sokka climbing the stairs, panic clear in his expression.

“Zuko? Zuko are you okay?” Zuko couldn’t hold back the sob as Sokka collided with him, the fear slipping away into a longing he didn’t know he had. His chest heaved against Sokka’s and he knew it was wrong. He shouldn’t be hugging this boy. A phantom pain crackled over his eye. He shouldn’t be  _ burdening  _ him. But Sokka just held him tighter and the urge to pull away and run, felt far too exhausting.

“Zuko, what happened? How can I help?” Sokka pulled away gingerly, and sat next to him on the steps, shoulders pressed together by the tight squeeze. Zuko shuddered.

“...I-I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no. Don’t be, please. Just let me help. I want to help.” Zuko sighed, chills running down his spine, at his words. He wanted to bolt, but his body stayed rigid in its position. It had been a mistake to call Sokka. What had he been thinking?! He glanced up at Sokka’s eyes, still the ocean blue, which in retrospect was ironic. For how much Zuko hated the ocean, he loved those eyes, wide with curiosity and understanding and forgiveness. 

“Last year… I almost drowned.” He surprised himself with the blurt, but better to rip off the band-aid he supposed. Sokka didn’t react, other than leaning in, listening to Zuko’s words.

“The thought of swimming… it just… I get night terrors about it sometimes. I’m so sorry I called you, I-”

“It’s okay, Zuko. I’m glad you did. I know what that feeling is like. It’s like watching the whole world being ripped out from under you. There is no time or space, there is only water.” Sokka reached slowly, waiting for Zuko’s steady nod of approval and rested his hand on his forearm, the light pressure a sign of reassurance. A sign of stability. Sokka glanced down at the notebook curiously, but brought his gaze back up to Zuko and the golden eyes, blindingly shiny through the tears.

Sokka’s eyes widened for a second, taking in the golden flames, like a wildfire raging in his irises, a thousand burning galaxies, reflected into the nervously flickering pupils. But Sokka wasn’t afraid of this fire, it was beautiful. He could just fall into the dancing candles in his eyes forever, but Zuko’s voice broke through his thoughts.

“I’m so fucking weak! Y-y-you almost d-drowned today! And you-” Sokka scrambled to cut him off.

“Zuko you are not weak! It scared the shit out of me today. But I’ve grown up with water and so has Katara. I know the dangers and the ways to get out of them…” Sokka trailed off.

“You know, I still won’t let anyone light the fireplace back home, because I can’t look into the flames. So you’re not weak. Okay? Say it.” Zuko jerked his head up and looked at him.

“What?”

“Say it. Say “I’m not weak.”” Sokka waited with an eager nod as Zuko huffed out irritably.

“I’m not weak.” Zuko muttered, barely an audible whisper. Sokka smiled softly.

“Now believe it.  _ I  _ believe it.” Sokka leaned down to catch his gaze, finding it to be steady on the notebook. “Is that why you ran today? You don’t have to apologize for it, I understand.”

“...Yes. You were- I thought-” 

“But I didn’t.” Zuko nodded slightly. “What’s in the notebook?” Sokka asked curiously. He let go of Zuko’s forearm and reached out for the book but Zuko instinctively tugged it away.

“Nothing!” Zuko hissed, holding it tight to his chest. Sokka pulled away and nodded in understanding, not pushing the topic any further. Zuko sighed softly at the expression, full of forgiveness and the gentle glow of the moon swimming in his eyes. Zuko bit his lip and flipped it open to a random page.

“Stories… I write.” Sokka’s whole face lit up.

“Really? That’s amazing! Can… can I read it?” Sokka whispered apprehensively, worried that he might spook Zuko into bolting again. Zuko slowly released his grip from the book as he handed it to Sokka. He gulped as Sokka’s eyes scanned the page. His instinct was the grab the book and hide it where no one could ever find it, away from the world, and maybe he’d hide with it, but Sokka’s expression was so gentle, the way his lips moved slightly as he read, and his eyes couldn’t be torn from the words, and his finger tentatively handled the page, like he was touching something fragile, something he wanted to handle with care.

Zuko watched as Sokka flipped the page reading the last paragraph of the piece he had written. Zuko furrowed his brows, his nerves tingling with fear, but also with curiosity as he tried to read Sokka’s expression. Sokka looked up finally.

“This is… wow. Zuko this is beautiful. Kind of sad and haunting, but beautiful. Y-you… Do you really-” Sokka cut himself off, knowing the answer to his own question and suddenly understanding the depth of which Zuko viewed himself. Sokka wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab his hand, and it took every fiber of his being not to. Sokka looked up and mentally traced the silhouette of Zuko’s face.

_ God, he was so beautiful. _

_ Fuck.  _ The thought hit Sokka again, this time with such intensity, his whole body tensed up and suddenly recognized the giddy trembling in his stomach. Suddenly, Sokka wanted to kiss him. Which was strange… sure, he had admired boys before, but never to the point where the feeling seemed to swallow him whole. He gulped, drowning in the golden swirls, trying to process the aphony. But he looked out to the sliver of sea that he could see from the angle of the steps and saw nothing but strong footprints dotted across the sand towards an unknown path.

Sokka exhaled shakily as he pulled out the pen stuck in the spiral. He clicked it and Zuko watched curiously as he began to write, Sokka’s messy handwriting next to his cursive, seemed strange, but intriguing. Zuko leaned in as Sokka pulled away, showing the slight adjustment made to the writing piece.

_ I can feel it coursing through my veins. My hands shake like the grounds of the blackened volcanic soil, unsteady and dangerous to walk across. As black as night it forms from the destruction of the earth and cracks the island in two, far from the rainbows and horizons, as the island sits dreadfully lonely out in the open waters just above the surface. It’s own self destruction is clear with each shake and cry, the soul draining down the mountain side, shielding what happy beaches lay below with its eternal darkness.  _

_ But of course, volcanic soil always allows the growth of the most beautiful blossoms. _

**〜⛭〜**

Azula traveled through the dark and empty hallways. Why she was roaming them this time of night, with no light to guide her was not understood. Maybe she simply couldn’t sleep. Maybe she too, wondered what it was like to sail off the edge of the world. She held no plan and knew no direction as she wandered, letting the darkness engulf her. Strands of hair fell in her face, but she didn’t bother to push them away as she crept down the massive staircase that made her feel so small. Her hand left the railing as she continued to walk, wandering circles through the main room to the dining room and to the kitchen. Maybe she could eat something and that would give her a sense of purpose for the late night travels. She snagged an apple from the fruit bowl, but felt her feet gravitate down the hall, curious by the lone light in the servants' break room. Surely no one was here this time of night, but she gripped the apple tighter in her hand as she entered the room and peered out the window. She marveled at what she saw. But then, a slight smirk played on her lips as she watched her brother and the peasant boy sit so closely on the servant staircase in the dead of night, hidden by the shadows. For now, she had drifted away from her thoughts about the edge of the world, as she grinned sadistically at the pair on the steps.

Wait till her father heard about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter be like ✨a n g s t ✨
> 
> Ah, but Sokka figured out some feelings whoop whoop!!! Zuko's got a lot to deal with now, but he's finally opening up! So sorry again for this monster chapter, but some swing dancing in the future, hmm?? That'll make up for the angst. Sorry for any spelling errors also, because I edit this on my own, but my eyes don't catch everything. Thank you so much again for reading. Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	7. A Pool of Dreamcatchers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko hates parties... especially when his up-to-no-good sister invites all his friends.
> 
> But there's a lot of alcohol, and boy does Sokka love his tequila

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! Super excited for this chapter! We’ve got some drunken mistakes, and some dancing… but not the type of dancing we are all hoping for and impatient waiting for me to get to… Oh and what is Azula planning???  
> This was seriously supposed to be only 3000 words... 
> 
> Trigger warning here for anxiety, self-hate, homophobia, references to child abuse, and technically some non-con. You’ll see what I mean. If anyone ever feels that I'm taken something too far or something is incorrect, please let me know!
> 
> I love all the wonderful comments and thank you all for the kudos! It means so much to me! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Oh and hey! I'm on tumblr!

**Chapter Seven- A Pool Of Dreamcatchers**

Sokka didn’t pay much attention to it at the time. How could he? He had nearly drowned, and nearly lost Katara in the process, and on top of that, Zuko was worrying him sick. So naturally he didn't pay attention to the finer details. 

When he got home, his body had been so overwhelmingly exhausted, that he collapsed into his bed, even though his mind plunged into the depths of his thoughts, and so his mind never drifted to the missing weight around his neck, other than the replaced soreness of his muscles. And then Zuko had called.

And then they had talked.

And then Sokka realized he was fucked.

So really, when a whole day passed and he finally realized what was missing from his life, he had developed this argument in his head, really as a way to apologize to Yue, whose necklace now sat at the bottom of the ocean, a beautiful moon shaped shell, buried beneath the waves and sand.

Sokka hated to admit that he cried when he went to grasp the necklace and it was gone. He didn’t tell anybody about the missing pendant, much less tell them the extent of his devastation. He speculated that Katara already knew, but caught wind of his silence and decided to play along.

Thank god for Katara. 

Sometimes he forgot how good he had it with his sister. Sure, they annoyed the living hell out of each other, from Sokka’s loud, obnoxious music at odd hours of night, to Katara’s constant _nagging_ , but really, he had it good.

She had always been straight with him, but never lacked a sympathy that even when he didn’t want it, ended up being grateful to have. She was always there for him, whether it be a hug, backpack full of candy -Sokka always had a sweet tooth-, or just the comforting silence, the _understanding_ of space.

Sokka loved his sister, he really did, but there was just something about talking about pain and loss with Zuko that just resonated more with him. Maybe it was just the idea that Katara was his sister, or maybe because he had a huge ass crush on Zuko. It didn’t matter the reason, he concluded, because he didn’t want to talk to anyone about this.

Yue was gone from him. Truly gone, every piece of her carried away by the tide. The tears that rolled down his cheeks mocked him. The tide seemed to be rioting against him a lot these days, taking away his piece of Yue, nearly taking away his sister, and in a sense, trying to rip him from Zuko. And the salty tears that fell from his jaw were merely remnants of the oceans’ waters that swallowed him whole. 

**〜⛭〜**

It wasn’t fifteen minutes after Toph and Katara left for their “spa day” did a familiar piano rift ring through the condo’s walls at full blast. 

As Bob Seger’s “Old time Rock and Roll” kicked into full swing, Sokka slid into the living room, oversized boxers clinging to his hips and socks allowing him to fly across the hardwoods. As the first line of lyrics belted through the speaker, Sokka ripped off his sunglasses, spoon in hand as he practically screamed the words.

“ _Just take those old records off the shelf_!”

“ _I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself!_ ” Aang joined in, sliding from across the hall, sunglasses shielding his eyes as he banged his head to the beat, doing air guitar with the frying pan.

“ _Today's music ain't got the same soul! I like that old time rock 'n' roll!”_ They sang in unison, Sokka climbing on top of the coffee table as he raised the spoon in the air, running his other hand through his hair wildly. He ripped out the hair tie and threw his head back and forth shaking his hair free as he mimicked the guitar solo. Aang screamed the lyrics as he launched himself off the couch, dancing like a maniac around the living room. 

The piano keys slid down the notes and the chorus started up again, and Sokka banged his head, grinning as he sang again, horribly off key, but both boys didn’t care as they slid across the wood floors, Sokka hitching up his boxers every few seconds as he swung his hips. Aang charged from the hallway, grabbing Sokka’s arm as he swung around and jumped up on the arm chair.

“ _Still like that old time rock 'n' roll. That kind of music just soothes the soul._ ” Aang bounced to the lyrics, throwing the frying pan into the couch and collapsed into the armchair, using his foot to wildly spin the chair. 

“ _I reminisce about the days of old! With that old time rock 'n' roll!_ ” Sokka sang the next lyrics, snatching the sunglasses he had thrown off, and tossed them on, jumping back up onto the coffee table. He threw his hand into the air pointing at the front door, smiling like a rockstar. 

“Hey Sokka, I-” Zuko peaked his head into the house, just as the music cut off and he was left staring at a nearly naked Sokka, parading on top of a coffee table with a ridiculous pair of sunglasses, belting out the lyrics to the song that had obviously ended. Needless to say, Zuko was not expecting _that_.

“Oh hey Zuko!” Aang waved, stomping his foot down and bringing the chair to a halt. The color drained from Sokka’s face as his grin dissipated to a shocked expression, glancing between the bluetooth speakers -which had previously been blasting music- and Zuko.

“Uhh… Hi Aang. I-I can come back…” Sokka, still standing on the table, dropped the spoon and waved his hands.

“No, no, no! Uh, we were just… the girls aren’t here today, soooo.” Sokka flashed a slightly embarrassed grin as Zuko raised his eyebrow with a smirk.

“Uh-huh. I see… that.” Zuko smacked his lips and continued. “So, I just came by to drop off the tupperware you left at my house. I’ll uh- let you get back to… whatever _this is_ .” Aang fell back into the chair and laughed, the boisterous sound normally contagious, instead left the other two boys awkwardly glancing at each other, Zuko trying _really_ hard not to look at the line of muscle on Sokka’s chest and- Zuko pinched himself on the wrist, letting blood swell to the uppermost skin layer before letting go with the slightest hint of a wince.

He was not to think about things like that. 

“You wanna join us? We’re just eating all the Nutella and singing and dancing.” Sokka looked utterly mortified for a second at the thought of Zuko, the boy he had a crush on, seeing him dancing like an idiot around the house in oversized boxers and singing horribly. But the thought of seeing Zuko in a pair of boxers, low on his hip bones- nope nope nope. He was not going down that road _now._

“Pfffft! Zuko’s way too classy for us!” Sokka scrambled for some excuse, but his whole argument fell to pieces upon seeing Zuko’s flaming eyes. Zuko, never being one to let someone else get the last word, decided to open his big fat mouth. 

“I know how to dance.” Zuko blurted. _Fuck,_ was all Zuko had to say about that. The comment had not meant to slip out, but it did and now there was no getting out of it by the looks of Sokka’s curious gaze and growing smile.

“You do?!” Aang bounced up and slid over to the speaker, scrolling through his endless supply of music for another song. Zuko gulped.

“I mean…” He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck. “My mother used to teach me to… swing dance.” He winced out, squeezing his eyes shut, peaking only to catch a glimpse of Sokka’s reaction, which was not what he was expecting.

“Really?!” Sokka’s whole face lit up, forgetting about the fact that he was practically naked still, not to mention he was still on the table. Zuko nodded and swallowed thickly, his nerves tingling with anxious energy. “You have to teach me!” Sokka insisted, jumping off the table that let out a groan in relief from his weight. 

Zuko backed away. Teaching Sokka to swing dance… that required touching… close contact. The slightest sense of longing for that contact slipped into Zuko’s mindscape, but was quickly shut down. He began to shake his head, but he found himself already nodding. This was not allowed. Forbidden!

_Escape, escape, escape!_

But Sokka already clapped his hands in excitement and burst down the hallway, declaring that he was going to change. Zuko’s face wrinkled up with irritation. _Damn him and his overly energetic personality and ocean blue eyes and smile that just-_ Zuko pinched his other wrist, letting blood race up to the surface, but let go just before his skin could break. At this rate, he was going to be covered in those little bruises. He hid his scowl, not because he didn’t want to teach Sokka to dance… it was just a hell of a lot more complicated.

He broke it down into a mental list. Three reasons and three basic explanations.

One: If anyone found out… Zukko gulped, deciding not to even think about that reason. He knew the consequences, he didn’t need to line it out in front of himself.

Two: He hadn’t danced since his mother died. And that was years ago. Every movement made him think of her, the way she smiled and laughed when Zuko did something right. It made his whole chest ache horribly at how much he missed the way she would spin in those summer dresses, her hair falling loose in perfectly messy stands, so different from the done-up curls she wore with a forced smile out in public. He could almost smell the rose gardens she would dance in, bare feet against the grass. Those were his happiest memories. And selfish as it was, he wanted to keep them to himself. He didn’t want to mess them up with new memories. Especially if those memories were something forbidden.

Three: Zuko learned to dance from his mom, but he wasn’t actually sure if he was good. He doubted he was anything other than a horrible dancer, but maybe that was just his self-hate talk. So if Sokka’s hand touched his and he taught him to dance, would he actually be able to dance? Or was it some fantasy he pictured in his head before shattering it into the millions of fragments of darkness and proving the truth Zuko believed was there?

The list didn’t lie, Zuko concluded.

“So, Zuko. What type of music?” Aang called, breaking up Zuko’s thoughts.

“Uh, swing?” His tone was cautious and Aang caught it with a slight nod, easing up on his sometimes “over the top” enthusiasm. 

“Soooo… I’m guessing no Ariana Grande?” Aang sighed, sounding the slightest bit disappointment.

“Unfortunately no.” Zuko replied sarcastically, making Aang grin. Aang motioned to the speaker, silently asking, “what’ll it be?”

“Start with something slow and easy. Umm… Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.” _How Ironic._ Aang nodded and punched in the title of the song. With that, Sokka emerged from his room, a pair of khaki shorts and blue t-shirt. He grinned on the outside, but if Zuko squinted hard enough, he could see Sokka's slight uptightness, as if he was the one who was nervous. 

“So what do we do, Sifu?” Sokka winked, concealing his nerves quite well, despite the fact that his whole body was on fire. This was freaking real and Sokka was sure he was going to explode. He cleared his throat when he spoke, trying to choke back the voice crack that always rose up his throat when he was nervous.

“Sifu?” Zuko felt his whole face heat up.

“Yeah, well you’re the master!” Aang chimed in, smiling when he found the song Zuko had requested.

“Well-” He was cut off by Sokka’s phone buzzing, an AC/DC song blasting through as his sister called.

“Hold on just a second.” Sokka called out, answering his phone. “Heya sis, what’s-” Sokka’s eyes went wide. Zuko followed the movements of Sokka’s mouth as he spoke, watching his lips curling with excitement as if it was slow motion.

“Really?! Katara, we have to go! It’ll be the rave of a century!... I don’t care, we have to!... I’m not letting my lame-o sis stay home all night!... No, I know! Katara, seriously not this whole volleyball team issue again! He didn’t do it, and Azula was nice enough to invite us all, and you’re really being a-” 

Zuko’s eyes snapped wide open at his sister’s name, both Aang and him leaning in to catch Katara’s side of the conversation. Unfortunately for them -and for Sokka, who undoubtedly just went deaf- Katara screamed from the other line, clearly upset.

“ _Sokka I swear to God!! You and your big fat bromance is going to get us all into trouble!! I’m putting my foot down- no Toph_ !” Toph was saying something, but it was too muffled to be coherent. Then, with a long pause and drawled out sigh attached to a slight growl, Katara returned. “ _Fine. We’ll go._ ” Sokka’s face cracked into a grin at the exact same time that Zuko’s split into a frown.

“You’re the best Katara! And tell Toph that I bet there will be _good_ alcohol there! We won’t even have to steal it!” Katara let out a strained groan and hung up without a goodbye, but Sokka was already throwing his phone across the room with excitement.

“Guess who just got us access to the best party on the island?!” Sokka squealed, Aang’s face lightening up at his words. The color drained from Zuko’s face.

Azula? Throwing a party? It wasn’t necessarily… unusual. But to invite Sokka and his friends? Zuko shuddered at the thought. Something was off already about her cruel smirks at him and the strange remarks she made about Sokka, and this? Zuko’s stomach lurched at what she could be planning. Azula was nothing if not a ruthless strategist and merciless manipulator, and Zuko wanted nothing to do with it, much less Sokka being dragged into his family affairs. Zuko had fucked that up by becoming friends with him. He had done this to Sokka. Add it to the list of ways he fucked up.

Zuko shook his head vigorously, backing up into the front door.

“I don’t think you should go.” He stated plainly.

“Why not?” Sokka scrunched his features together.

“Azula is… I don’t have a good feeling about it.”

“Look, I get it if crowds aren’t your thing, but the gang and I want to go. I’ll be by your side all night, and we only have to go for a little while if you want.” Zuko bit his lip, but found himself speechless against Sokka’s pleading eyes and reassuring smile that only did a little to ease his rising speculation of Azula and her “master” plan. 

“Seriously Sokka.”

“Zuko.” Sokka responded, his tone firming. Aang nodded in excitement next to him, clasping his hands together as he bounced up and down with his big puppy dog eyes. Zuko groaned.

“Fine. Just… be careful.” Sokka held back the urge to roll his eyes as Aang scooped Zuko up in a hug, his brief flinch not going unnoticed.

“You’ll come though, right? It wouldn’t be a party without you.” Sokka smiled softly as Zuko scoffed.

“I think the party would die out pretty fast by my presence… but fine.” Only because he had to make sure Sokka would be safe. Azula could be… cruel and that was stated nicely. 

“You’re the best, you know that?!” Sokka pried Aang off of Zuko, who in turn, ran down the hallway to get dressed. Zuko snorted, internally turning Sokka’s statement around as “I’m the worst,” without even a conscious notion of the thought. It was his brain’s natural switch around. For no matter what good was given to him, there always seemed to be reason for speculation, reason for lies.

Zuko once heard it takes a 100 praises to undo the damage of one negative comment. He thought about the math for that a lot and came to the conclusion that there simply wasn’t enough hours in his life to make up for all the darkness swirling around him.

**〜⛭〜**

There were moments where Katara and Sokka no doubt got into fights, but these were some of the moments that Sokka could just explode with happiness.

Katara and Toph had returned home that afternoon, and no, much to Sokka’s disappointment, he did not learn how to swing dance. Zuko had instead gone home to check on Azula. Something told Sokka that wasn’t the full story, but he didn’t want to push it. The uneasy glances from Zuko was enough to put him on edge, and even if he was beyond excited for Azula’s party, there was still a stir of something in the pit of his stomach that gave him a forewarning. 

He ignored it though, because what was the point of both him and Katara worrying? No, he left that job for his sister.

But then Katara and Toph came home, all gussied up, Toph showing off her jade green nail polish, even though she couldn’t see it. Katara slid through the door of Sokka’s room where he laid on his bed. He was lying on his stomach, mindlessly doodling in his sketchbook, an array of colored pencils sprawled out over the wrinkled bedding.

“How was girl day?” Sokka asked without looking up. 

“Oh fine. Toph punched the masseuse… I'm still a little unclear on the reason, but it was fun nonetheless. Then we got lunch and skimmed the shops.”

“The very overpriced shops.” Sokka added pointing the tip of his colored pencil at her.

“Yeah.” She responded, flopping down next to him. “Still working on that Zuko picture?” She asked nonchalantly, eyes scanning up to the paper clenched between Sokka’s fists. He whipped around to face her, flabbergasted. She simply raised an eyebrow.

“The WHAT?” Sokka scrambled towards his sketchbook, the current drawing he was working on being some girl in a dress. Katara didn’t get a closer look, but she did see a glimpse of white hair, telling her it was Yue.

“Why were you going through my stuff?!” Sokka roared, collecting his colored pencils as he sat up.

“I wasn’t. I woke up in the middle of the night with you missing, but that drawing sitting next to me. I figured at first that maybe you just got up to use the bathroom, but then you were gone for a while and when I looked at the drawing, I knew where you were!” Sokka flushed and leaned back.

“Y-you’re not mad?”

“By what, Sokka? I don’t trust Zuko, but I trust you. And I worry about you. So no, I’m not mad. Just…” She trailed off, hesitant in her motions. Sokka narrowed his eyes, waiting impatiently for her to finish.

“I… If there’s ever anything you want to talk about, I’m here for you. Okay?” Sokka didn’t respond. But then Katara moved the topic away and fished around in her shopping bags, before pulling out a tiny white box.

“I noticed that your-” she didn’t say the word as she motioned to the missing weight around Sokka’s neck. He sighed and hung his head, trying not to think about sitting at the bottom of the ocean. “So here. I know it can’t be replaced by any means, but… well, you’ll see.” He took the box from her hand and popped off the top, catching something shiny inside.

Sitting, pressed between a securing foam was a black cord with a tiny pendant attached. He picked it up feeling the cool metal against his fingertips as he stared at the little crescent moon.

“It doesn’t hold the sentiment that the other one did, I’m sorry, but maybe it can-” She was cut off as Sokka threw his arms around her in a bear hug, making her laugh out in surprise.

“Thanks Katara! It’s… It’s really great.” Sokka smiled softly and pulled the cord over his head.

“You can show it off at the party tonight.” She said with a defeated sigh. He grinned and pushed himself off the bed.

“Speaking of which, do you think rich people parties are like fancy, you know suit and tie kind of affairs, or are they strictly business casual?” Katara snorted and leaned back on her elbows as Sokka threw open his closet doors.

“I think they’re just like any other college party. Just with slightly higher quality booze.” Sokka grinned, pulling out his plethora of shirts, wrinkled and half hanging on his hangers.

“So like this?” He pulled out a long sleeve light blue shirt with a collar and pressed it against his chest. She rolled her eyes.

“Who are you trying to impress, Zuko?” He scowled as she barked out a laugh. He threw the shirt at her, but she swiped it away before it could hit her.

“I just want to be prepared!” She raised an eyebrow and pushed herself up, heading towards the door.

“Just do me a favor, bro? Don’t get blackout drunk like you get every year at Toph’s new years party.” His dopey grin only grew.

“No promises!” She left him an eye roll and slipped out of the room, running off to find Aang somewhere. Sokka stared at the doorway for a moment, his thoughts frozen in time and the world around him, spacey, before he tore his gaze back over to the sketchbook. Crawling back into bed, the moon pendant bouncing against his chest, he flipped through the pages of drawings, some good, some really _really_ bad, but flipped to the one page he was most proud of.

It was of Zuko.

He had finished it the day after Zuko had called him. It was a shadowed silhouette of his face, scar adorning his left side, but it wasn’t the ugly mark as Zuko referred to, it was exactly what Sokka thought it was: a mark. Not ugly, not shameful, just a mark. Just a sign of a past and a story waiting to be told. Sokka ran his fingers over the colored scar, -he had picked the perfect colors for it- and smiled. Behind Zuko’s tousled hair was the sunrise, a golden sun reflected behind him and two mini sunrises dancing in his pupils. Sokka supposed the shading of his hair was a little off the longer he stared at it, but nonetheless, it was his best sketch yet.

It was then did he notice his own smile and suddenly become very self aware. He had it bad… that much he knew. He hastily stuffed the sketchbook under his bed, leaving the mess of colored pencils to get lost among the bedding as he took off across the house and down towards the beach.

**〜⛭〜**

“Hey Suki?” Suki’s head bounced up, but not in reaction to Sokka as a volleyball plummeted towards the ground and she knocked it back into the sky with the crown of her head. Her short hair was falling from it’s unkempt bun, sweat and sand sticking to the strands. Sokka stuffed his hands in his pockets and let out a low whistle. Suki was absolutely stunning, as usual, but he was too wrapped up in his racing thoughts to possibly think about that now.

“What’s up?” She responded, immersed in the volleyball she was bumping against her wrists. She mouthed the numbers as she counted, somewhere deep in the hundreds as she practiced. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Hit me.” Suki said, her tongue sticking out as she concentrated, then tilted her stance so the ball would deflect towards Sokka. He bounced it off his hands with ease, allowing the two of them to pass the ball back and forth without much effort.

“Umm…” Sokka trailed off, not exactly sure how to ask his question, that wasn’t so much of a question and more of a _hey, so I really like Zuko, like a massive crush on him and I’m kind of freaking out._ Yeah, right, that wouldn’t work. To some extent he already knew his answer, he just… he never realized until now how much a label bothered him. Sure he had little things for guys before, at least the same super self-conscious, “I-want-you-to-like-me” feeling around guys, just like he did with girls, but then he thought about Zuko's precious smile, rare but radiant, and his breath hitched in his throat. What would he call this? He growled at himself and Suki caught it with a small smile.

“Out with it Sokka.” Sokka spiked the ball down towards the sand with such intensity, Suki scrambled to her stomach, hitting the sand with a sharp twist of her shoulders, but caught the ball just in time, sending catapulting back into the air and towards Sokka.

“How did you know you were bi?” Sokka glanced up at her to meet her surprised gaze. She bounced the ball up once, then hit it again with the tips of her fingers, setting high above Sokka’s head. Sokka clamped his jaw shut, feeling the pit of his stomach open up and swallow him whole.

“Why the sudden curiosity?” She jabbed with a grin. He stumbled back as he smacked the ball towards her. He faltered over his words, but she just smiled.

“I’m kidding.” Her expression turned a little more serious. “But to answer your question, I kissed a guy and it was a pretty good kiss, then I kissed a girl and was like, wow, that was good too. I mean, back in my middle school days when I had a crush, I’d get those funny little butterflies in my stomach. Well, when I got the same feeling for both boys and girls I thought were attractive- I just kinda put two and two together.” The ball fell to her side again and used her knee to send it soaring back, and Sokka used his foot as they got creative with their passing. 

“Oh.” Was all Sokka could muster. There was a steady silence, cut only by the light whistle of the breeze, a heat not dissimilar to the way the flames roared in front of him. Sokka shuddered. 

“Sokka?” He didn’t respond, too lost in the sudden flashback to be pulled into the present. Suki recognized the distant stare as if he was viewing some far off world from above, unable to pry his eyes away from the horrors written in his expression.

“Sokka? Is this about Zuko?” Zukos’ name broke the trance and Sokka missed the ball as it was passed to him, letting it flop into the sand and roll back towards Suki’s foot.

“What?! No!” He threw his hands in the air, but he was too quick and defensive about his answer, a clear sign of his horrible lie. She raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question him any further, which in a way, was just as unsettling to him.

“...why do you ask?” She clenched her fists as if she was about to burst at the seams, but whether it was from resisting the urge to make a joke or scream at him for his obvious “heart-eyes,” Sokka wasn’t sure.

“Oh, you know.” She picked up the ball and passed it back. “He’s cute. And you guys get along great. Both of you have shared traumas, you have a very… boisterous personality, and Zuko _doesn’t_ , but you seem to make him laugh and he seems to pull you back to earth. I mean I haven’t seen you guys interact that much, but you’re always with him, all summer long.” She shrugged, but Sokka was still processing the comment, completely missing the ball again as it smacked the sand with a pathetic and defeated roll over his foot.

“Well, thanks for your input Sooks, but I _don’t like him_. He’s just a friend.” She snorted.

“We better get ready for your future sister-in-law’s party, dingus.” Sokka glowered.

“Hey!” She laughed and grabbed his hand, and pulled him along up towards the house.

**〜⛭〜**

  
  


Zuko peered outside his bedroom window, staring down at the rapidly growing crowd. People could be heard inside the house, but mostly it was the overwhelming bass from the pool speakers that pulled the noise outside. He caught a glance of Ty Lee, hand wrapped around Azula’s as she pulled her through the people, a shot glass already in Azula’s hand. Zuko knew better though. Azula wasn’t drinking, no she’d have to have a clear head for whatever her plan was. Zuko growled, a part of him wondering if he was just being paranoid.

His anxiety never lied to him. _(yeah right)_

His gaze darted across the grounds watching the lights swish over the pool water in a dance of lights, swirling together with the waves and dots of people who swam in the pool. It looked almost like dreamcatchers.

Except this whole party was one goddamn nightmare, and no dreamcatcher could keep it from inflicting Zuko. He stared down at the pool, his stomach lurching with nervous energy, filling his esophagus with the pre-sensation of vomit. He swayed with the rotating lights, thinking back to Azula’s last party, and the way the saltwater pool had corrupted his senses, killed his ability to breathe and made him thrash wildly, without the sense of control.

He looked down at his hands and noticed his whole arms were trembling. He exhaled, releasing the breath he had been holding, and crawled into his bed. The party had started almost an hour ago, and still no sign of Sokka. He glanced at his phone, seeing a text from Mai, asking where he was, because she was bored, but he ignored it. The swirling waters still flooded over him and made him curl up, shaking with an invisible chill, but he was already laying on top of the blankets and felt no use to crawl under them. He squeezed his eyes shut, the phantom pain of water rushing through his nasal cavity, tearing away at tissue until it burned raw, rippled through him, making him snort. He had to focus on something else. _Anything_.

So in his head, he wrote his story. 

He had gotten pretty far with it. And even found an eventual plot line. He was going to call it _The Boy in the Iceberg_ , a story about an ocean-eyed boy who didn’t remember who he was, because of an accident nobody wanted to talk about, and his only clue was the strange recurring dream. As the novel went on, he did add another character: Luna. She too had been in the accident, and she didn’t remember who she was, but she shared the same visions as the ocean-eyed boy, and they could visit each other in their dreams. That’s what he thought about now, hoping to mentally write out the scene as a means of distraction.

That's what stories were anyway, right?

_“Who are you?” The boy with the ocean-eyes asked, staring bleary eyed at the beautiful young woman in front of him, silky hair draped across her shoulders. She had silver eyes, almost as mesmerizing as the way she responded to his question._

_“I… don’t know. My name is Luna. That is what I’ve been told at least. I don’t remember anything.”_

_“I- Me neither! At least you have a name.” The girl’s silver eyes widened as she stepped closer, the moonlight giving off a dewy reflection across her glowing tan skin. She was beautiful. And when the boy with the ocean eyes squinted he suddenly recognized her. He didn't know from where or how he knew her, but there was a comforting feeling by her presence._

_“I… you look familiar.” She looked up hopefully, and the way she basked in the moonlight, she looked almost ethereal. Like a spirit of the skies._

_“I’ve seen you… in my dreams.” She whispered sheepishly, as if afraid she would sound crazy. She glanced up to meet his surprised gaze and quickly glanced back down. The boy with the ocean eyes nodded, a flash of those dreams rushing before him in a horrible array of pictures that were incoherent and indescribable._

_“In your dreams… have you seen a fire?”_

_“I’m not sure if it’s a fire, but it burns like one, except it’s a white light… It’s very strange. A-a-and there’s a wolf!” She bit her lip suddenly, as if she had said too much._

_“I’ve seen a wolf too! It’s metal, right? And it saves you from the fire?” A concerned look crosses her face, before she shakes her head._

_“It does not save me. I think it wants to, but there is a wall of flames, and it can’t get past. Does it get past the flames for you?”_

_“Yes…” The boy said, embarrassed now. She makes a little sound, and it's sad, like the flicker of hope being extinguished in his eyes._

_“Do… Do you think before this, we were friends?”_

_“I don’t know.” The boy responded with a shrug. The moon’s light disappeared as a cloud crossed in front, leaving them alone in the darkness. “We can be friends now, if you want.” Even in the darkness, he could see her smile._

_“I’d like that.”_

Zuko continued to mentally plan out their friendship, their connection to the wolf spirit that would show up in their visions, and the accident that led them there. Maybe one day, he would let Sokka read this story.

His own thought surprised him and forced him to let out a groan, before burying himself in the mattress, hoping to sink all the way in and become the spring coils that held firm beneath him. 

A gentle rasp on the door made his head snap up. He held his breath, hoping whoever was outside would presume the room was empty and leave, but instead Zuko blinked as a sliver of light cut through his dark room and Sokka peaked in.

“Hey doofus, whatcha doin’ in here?” 

“Sokka?”

“Come on, there’s a party going on, and you got yourself holed up.” Sokka crossed the room and reached out, waiting patiently for Zuko to take his hand. Zuko stared at it, started to reach out, but quickly pulled his hand back into his chest. Sokka, to his surprise, rolled his eyes.

“I don’t bite Zuko. Take it. Lets go to the party.” Zuko looked up at Sokka’s bright eyes, the same ethereal glow dancing in between the lines of his irises, mapping out the swirls that met at the black holes of his pupils. 

Zuko took Sokka’s hand.

And even with every fiber of his being fighting against it, he let his palm sink in against Sokka's, the warmth of the skin on skin contact melting away his inhibitions and making his head feel light. Sokka tugged him through the hallways and down the main staircase, letting go of his hand once in sight of the others.

Katara had her hands on her hips stubbornly, Aang’s arm slung around her waist as they patiently waited.

“Hiya Zuko!” Aang waved. “Ooo! Katara, lets go dance!” Aang practically shrieked with delight as he pulled her by the hand, and even her sour mood dissipated into an echo of giggles as they disappeared into the crowd and flashing lights.

“Your sister really knows how to throw a rave!” Toph clapped her hands together. “Onward Suki! To the alcohol!” Toph bellowed, and Suki bent over, Toph pulling herself for a piggy-back ride as the two charged outside, laughing and clearly ready to get drunk. Sokka and Zuko exchanged a look, Sokka’s expression completely smitten, but Zuko didn’t catch it.

“What should we do?” Zuko shrugged, glancing back up the staircase. Going back upstairs sounded pretty nice.

So did holding Sokka’s hand again. Zuko winced as he immediately pinched himself, growling under his breath for all the things he was not worth. Sokka deserved better. Sokka deserved a good person.

He was nothing. He was nothing. _He was nothing._

Not to mention that he wasn’t allowed to think about thought like that. They were wrong. He was wrong. He was the abomination.

“Zuko? A-are you okay? We don’t have to go out there if you want. We can go somewhere else.” Sokka’s voice, which was normally comforting, stabilizing even, filled him with nothing but grief and alarm and pushed himself farther away from Sokka. In truth, he wanted nothing more than to get away. Get away from the rushing waters that still drowned him, get away from the crowd and flashing lights and the pool of dreamcatchers and the dreams he still feebly hung onto, no matter how much he knew what he could not have.

He wanted to escape, run away from here, run away from _Sokka_ , and his warm blue eyes scanning over him, plastered with a worry that was so unfamiliar, it made his heart leap. Zuko gulped, sinking in the quicksand of his thoughts.

“No, I’m fine… Let’s get wasted.” 

**〜⛭〜**

Zuko should have known he wouldn’t have stayed true to his own word.

There was absolutely no concept of time now, but it wasn’t from any buzz of alcohol. The atmosphere itself seemed never ending, a constant spin without consequence of time or consideration of space. It was their own little world of flashing lights, obnoxious young adults, and putrid smells that were the clear sign of a good time. 

Sokka on the other hand… the guy could hold his alcohol for a while, Zuko gave him that much, but at some point, when the moon was high in the sky, but completely shadowed by the flaring lights, Suki and Sokka had gotten into a shot taking competition, and Sokka had won, but at the cost of him slurring his words like an idiot and his ability to maintain a sober mentality slipping away.

Toph had also changed the course of the party, for once word got out a Beifong had arrived, she was pretty quickly swarmed, and half the crowd had been roped into her crazy stories, immersed by her ability to mesmerize and quite frankly, hyperbolize, as she animated some wild tale that people “oohed” and “ahhed” at.

Zuko’s attention, no matter how many times he was distracted by the color changing lights, or Toph’s thrilled shouts, or some girl trying to cajole him to some secluded room of the house, always returned to Sokka who danced in the center of the massive yard, head banging to the beat, fist raised in the air, eyes closed as he laughed drunkenly. Zuko did feel the light buzz of alcohol and probably the renaments of pot wafting around the air and taken in with each inhale, but he was pretty stable still, with the exception of the slightest freedom from his emotions.

And it felt great.

But he didn’t drink anymore, admittedly the numbness was alluring, but he wanted to be able to remember watching Sokka. The way he smiled lazily when he ended up dancing with Suki, the two of them, partners in crime. The way his chin touched the sky as he was immersed in the world swirling around them. The way he so easily threw an arm around Zuko’s shoulder, whispering something that Zuko didn’t catch, but the breath itself was enough to make him shiver.

Zuko also realized he had stopped drinking to ensure he could keep an eye on Azula. Azula floated through the party, and it was as if she was a goddess. She was almost glowing in nature, but she held a power that was indescribable, and it made people fear and respect her. Like she was a goddess of the sun.

But Azula’s intentions were still unclear, especially when Azula approached him, mockingly friendly to him.

“Having fun, Zuzu?” She leaned on him, the smell of liquor hot on her breath.

“Yeah, plenty.” He shot back, sending her a forced smile. Her responding smirk was almost sadistic, but he was numb to the anxiety otherwise plaguing him and let it slide for the time being. His eyes left hers as they trailed across the pool to Sokka, waving him over, a lopsided grin showing off his perfect teeth.

Zuko sighed and made his way over, glaring at a girl who tried to grab his hand and pull him over to dance. He did make his way over, evading the pool as much as necessary and found a new warmth in his hand. He almost pulled away, thinking that the pesky girl had followed him, but this hand was firm and calloused from art and sent his whole head up to where Yue sat on the moon.

Sokka started to pull and Zuko followed with ease, navigating the crowd, away from the lights, and chatter, and drunk singing, and hazy smoke hanging over their heads. They ducked inside of the house, Sokka abandoning his drink on a table in the hallway, continuing to pull Zuko towards the staircase.

“Where are we going?” Zuko asked, blinking as he adjusted to the light. Sokka let go of his hand and looked up at the dark hallways of the upstairs.

“Mmm, needed to clear my head. Can’t get a decent convo- ya knowww?” He lifted his eyebrows and Zuko was immediately entranced. Sokka pushed away the loose strands of hair that had fallen out of his wolf's tail.

“We could go to my room.” Zuko suggested, and if he wasn’t feeling the buzz from the booze, he would have never said a thing, but Sokka was already climbing the stairs, and Zuko was far too curious to shut himself up. And just like that, Zuko found himself sitting on the edge of his bed, Sokka wandering his room, trying to learn as much as he could about Zuko.

There wasn’t much in Zuko’s room, but Sokka liked that it was clean and warm and like a hug swallowing him whole. He leaned back against Zuko’s desk, stumbling over his own weight.

“Man, you should’ve danced out there. You and your _swing_ dancing!” Sokka spun around once, drawing out the word “swing” with an enthusiastic hum. He swayed on his feet a little as he balanced himself against the dresser, but not without knocking over a stack of books first.

“Whoops!” Sokka bent down and collected the books, stumbling as he paused a messy list, words scribbled out in a gut wrenching header.

_A List of the Ways I Fucked Up_

By the bent stapler, the list went _on_ for a while, and Sokka could help but stare at it, hands shaking. He glanced up at Zuko who was focused on the blue light being emitted from his phone, hastily responding to someone. Sokka took the opportunity to pocket the list, and quickly stack the remaining books and papers.

“Sorry.” Zuko said, tossing his phone to the side. “Mai was wondering where I went.”

“‘Is alright.” Sokka flopped down next to him on the bed, lifting his arms above his head in a stretch that pulled his shirt above his abs. Zuko flushed, trying not to stare, but found that he simply didn’t care. There was prolonged silence after that, but it wasn’t uncomfortable to their ringing ears from the noise from downstairs booming through the walls and floors.

“I’m glad we met.” Sokka blurted suddenly, licking his lips.

“Me too?”

“Know why?” Sokka beamed, a dopey grin cracking his face in two.

“Why?” Zuko asked, sarcasm heavy on his tongue.

“Yer cute!” The words didn’t process in Zuko's brain as he hummed out a response, but Sokka was sitting impossibly close and his warm breath made Zuko’s cheeks tint a rosy color, so how could he possibly process anything else. Then Sokka’s hand was on his knee, but he didn’t flinch away, instead he moved towards that warmth, the light pressure that wasn’t harming him or posing any threat. It was a loving touch. Zuko hated being touched, but just maybe he could get a little bit more used to being touched like that.

“Sokka?” Zuko choked out, his own thoughts being cut off by the ocean blue eyes gazing at him, glassy from the atmosphere, but stunning in the low light of his room. But then Sokka leaned forward, his exhaling breath tasting of tequila, as his hands went up to cup Zuko’s face and his lips went to meet his.

And Zuko almost kissed him. He really, almost did, and he wanted to so bad.

But then he saw the flashes of white burning pain, flames meeting his bubbling skin, a scream he barely recognized as his own. Not enough alcohol in the world could numb him from that pain, and so he ripped away from Sokka, catapulting himself off the bed and letting Sokka’s weight tumble after him with a surprised grunt. Sokka’s eyes snapped open, suddenly aware of what he was doing. 

But he was still drunk, and his _drunken_ confidence was still there, so he was able to shrug it off with a little more ease.

“You’re drunk, Sokka.” Zuko reminded, trying to calm his now racing nerves. He couldn’t stop staring at those lips. Sokka mumbled a slightly sheepish “sorry,” and Zuko was able to forgive him, purely on the sheer amount of time Sokka forgave him when he _shouldn’t_ have. 

“It’s okay.” Zuko exhaled shakily. “But you’re still drunk.” Zuko’s breath picked up, to the point where he was almost hyperventilating as his chest swelled shut and his head throbbed miserably. This was wrong. This was wrong. _Wrong, wrong, wrong._ But he fought the instinct so hard, that he forced himself to pull away from the situation. The urge to bolt, to run far away was high, but Sokka’s expression was soft, and he knew he couldn’t just leave him.

“I prefer confidently boosted.” Zuko raised his brow.

“Let’s get you home. I don’t want you going around and getting yourself into trouble.” Zuko spoke firmly, trying to maintain a stoic narrow of his eyes, but also to escape the massive house that reminded him of a prison. 

“Awww! You care!” Sokka grunted, lifting himself off the floor, watching Zuko stride across the room and hand Sokka a jacket.

“Of course I care… why wouldn’t I?” 

“Youuuuu didn’t kiss meeee.” Sokka drawled with a pout. Zuko felt his knees buckle slightly beneath him, and the urge to grab Sokka’s face and kiss him senseless overwhelmed him, but he shoved the feeling back down and locked it in his ribcage as flashes of pain dismembered him from his dreams.

His scar was the dreamcatcher that held all his hopes in a webbing of his past, unable to free themselves.

“I didn’t kiss you because you’re drunk Sokka. You can’t possibly make conscious, thought out choices in this state.” Zuko stated instead, and it was true. It just wasn’t the full story. It was never the full story with him, it was truly a surprise that Sokka didn’t abandon him at that moment. Zuko cursed at himself.

“Au Contraire- tryin’ to kiss you was the best choice I couldn’t make without ‘is state.” Sokka refuted, earning a deep blush from Zuko and a dramatic roll of his eyes. Zuko shoved Sokka out of his room, made him hold the railing as they moved downstairs and weaved through the corridors and out the kitchen exit, away from the people. They bickered mindlessly back and forth, Sokka making puns and jokes that were even worse than when he was sober, but Zuko found himself chuckling lightly along with them, trying to distract himself from being captivated by those ocean eyes. 

The boardwalk groaned under their feet as he marched Sokka back to the condo, the moon reappearing again, the further away they got from Zuko’s mansion.

“Yuuuueee. My love!” Sokka sang out, pointing to the sky. Zuko’s stomach took a vicious lurch.

Sokks still loved Yue. Everything within him drowned. But then he turned back into Sokka who was rambling to the moon, glowing softly against his features.

“Yue. I gotta tell ya, you’d really like ‘tis one! ‘M sorry, I let you drown. Let you fall to the ssstupid ocean floor!” He kicked at a nail popping out of the wood. “Promise I’ll follow one day, buuuttt, I gotta stay on earth for ‘tis one! I like him too much!” Sokka was very exaggerated in his words, and quite cryptic to be frank. Zuko felt as if he was invading a private moment, but he listened to Sokka ramble, and maybe for just a moment, a glimmer of hope flicked in Zuko’s golden eyes.

It was probably just the alcohol, right?

“Come on Sokka, let's get you home.” 

“Bye Yue.” Sokka whispered, stumbling along the path as Zuko tugged him closer to the condo. They walked in silence the rest of the time, until Zuko was able to guide Sokka into the front door of the condo, leading him down the hall to his bedroom.

Zuko realized he had never been in Sokka’s bedroom. 

And it was exactly what he was expecting. Messy and unkempt, but welcoming. There were drawings everywhere, tacked to the walls, some masterpieces of charcoal and paints, some half done, but most were scribbled sketches with rough handwritten notes attached, that Zuko wished he had the time to read. His desk, too, was completely covered with paper and colored pencils and eraser shavings. He took a step closer, mesmerized by the amount of drawings he did of people. Some he didn’t recognize, and some he did. His eyes glazed over some sketches of Katara, and then some of Toph as a superhero… or maybe villain, he wasn’t sure which. There were some cartoon drawings of Suki, and a few profile pictures of Appa, the massive Great Pyrenees that Aang had attached to his hip 90% of the time. But flipping through the pages, he caught sight of one drawing in particular.

It was a gorgeous cascade of blue and purples, and in the center the ghostly appearance of a girl, the silhouette of the moon glowing against her back. Sokka had described Yue to him a million times before, but seeing the image of her beauty, Zuko was awestruck.

The loss Sokka must’ve felt… He no doubt understood it, but maybe it was worse than Sokka himself let on. It was an attachment to something, like he was so afraid of falling if he let go. Zuko had told him that night over a month and a half ago, that Sokka would never get over her death.

But that didn’t mean he said to never let her go. 

Sokka had shackled himself to the memory of the fire, something he had yet to talk about in detail and it made Zuko’s whole chest ache. It wasn’t like Zuko had exactly been open with Sokka, but maybe he should have been. Maybe he should have ignored his own rampant anxiety and crippling fears to have a moment of complete solace with him. Zuko sighed softly and turned around to find Sokka already peeling off his pants.

“Sokka! What are you doing?!” Zuko nearly shrieked, clapping a hand over his face.

“Gettin’ comfyyyyyyy.” He whined, leaving his pants on the ground as he began to lift up his shirt. Zuko rushed forward and tugged the fabric from his hands pulling it back down. Sokka waggled his eyebrows at Zuko’s closeness, the stench of alcohol wafting around them.

“Wait until I’m _out_ of the room.” Zuko growled. He hated that despite his order, his eyes still trailed over Sokka’s body, from the slight line of muscle on his abs, to his plunging hip bones exposed by the low hanging boxers, and- _oh boy._ Zuko blushed furiously and scowled. “Just- ugh!” He stormed from the room, closing the door until Sokka called for him again.

“Are you decent?” Zuko muttered, creaking open the door again.

“Hmm.” _That sounded real confident,_ Zuko snarked to himself. He peaked in, seeing Sokka shirtless but in a pair of pajama pants. Zuko sighed, determining that was as “decent” as Sokka was going to get in his drunken state and entered his room again, pulling back the sheets of Sokka’s bed, fluffing the pillow and patting the bed.

“Alright. You can’t do any damage if you’re in bed.” Zuko sighed -dramatically, if you asked Sokka-

“Wanna bet?” Then Sokka _giggled_. Zuko let out an exasperated groan, running an exhausted hand over his face. It was like looking after a toddler. Zuko parted his fingers, glancing at Sokka’s eyes staring him down with a voracious attitude about them… hungry. Zuko swore he almost went into cardiac arrest right there.

“God help me.” Zuko muttered, going back to collecting rogue colored pencils stuck in between the sheets. There was an odd silence that hung above them, but as he looked back over at Sokka, he understood why. Sokka’s face had turned to a green pallor and his whole body seemed to convulse in a sickening grip of his stomach.

“Zuko? I think-” Zuko immediately knew what was about to happen, grabbing Sokka’s hand and tugging him to the bathroom. Within a few seconds, Sokka's head was practically dunked into the toilet bowl as he gagged out the copious amounts of appetizers he had put away that night. His chest heaved, energy rapidly decreasing. He groaned in the small pauses before more undigested food rose up his throat with a burning sensation. He gulped, desperately trying to get air in, but only vomit came out. 

Zuko stood there with no idea what to do, except wait.  
  
“Sokka?” Zuko asked, as the man paused for a long moment. He panted, easing himself back against the wall. 

“I-I I’m f-fine… Fuck.” Sokka choked out, shaking off Zuko’s concerned frown. Zuko furrowed his eyebrow, hoping that some kind of superhuman power would suddenly appear and heal him. But then just like that, Sokka puffed out his cheeks and groaned miserably as he threw himself over the edge of the toilet bowl again.

Zuko, quite conflicted about his role in the situation, opted to kneel down next to him, and place a firm hand against his back. If Zuko had been the one puking his guts out, he would have hated someone touching his back while he was in such a vulnerable position, but he had to remind himself, that Sokka was _not_ him, and this was… friendly. Supportive. Nothing wrong with that.

But Zuko’s gut clenched, knowing that behind his own thoughts was the truth, but he let his anxiety lie for him, being the only stability he knew to hold. Which in retrospect was ironic.

Sokka’s elastic hair tie broke his thoughts, as it snapped under pressure and Sokka’s hair flew out in a wild mess, flopping straight over his face. Sokka groaned, and in response, Zuko pulled his hair back, holding high at the top of his head.

“How are you doing?” Zuko whispered softly.

“Never. Drinking. Again.” Sokka panted out, turning his head for a sharp second to glance at Zuko’s gentle expression, before going back into his hurling position, his throat burning raw from the stomach acid. Once Zuko was sure Sokka was finished emptying the contents of his stomach, he helped pull Sokka to his feet, who lazily crumbled into Zuko’s stability and weight with a yawn.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Zuko dumped Sokka into his bed, and Sokka shuffled under the blankets, grasping his stomach again with a slight groan.

“‘ank you.” Sokka mumbled, his eyes shifting closed as he nestled into the blankets.

“Anything for- anytime.” Zuko whispered awkwardly, standing by the edge of bed, suddenly aware of his height and the way his arms were positioned at his sides, and the way his hair was probably greasy in the light. Zuko swallowed thickly, not noticing the silence that had swarmed between them because of his own screaming brain, pounding against his skull.

“Zuko?” Sokka mumbled, so light, he almost missed it.

“What?”

“You’re really pretty.”

“Careful, people say ridiculous things when they're drunk.” Sokka frowned, shaking his head.

“Nooo. When I’m not full of booze, you are still _really_ pretty.” Sokka reached out to take Zuko’s hand, but Zuko pulled away nervously. He wanted nothing more than to hold Sokka’s hand, feel the warmth wrapped around his fingers, to have such a wonderful feeling stuck so close with him.

“I can’t Sokka. I want to, please understand. But I can’t.” Zuko hung his head, feeling the painful shiver going down his spine. Flashes of burning white separated him from reality for a moment, until Sokka’s nod, pulled him back to earth. Sokka slipped further under the sheets until only his chin up could be seen.

“I understan’.” He slurred. Zuko couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. Everything about this was wrong! Every red flag in the world was going off, and Zuko felt like he himself was going to puke. Sokka tilted his head, it feeling immensely heavy on his shoulders as he focused all his energy on Zuko and the way his eyes dulled into a thick amber, still beautiful of course, but hidden behind the hair sweeping his face. Sokka wanted to reach out and brush it away, but he didn’t. “But say it.”

“Say what?”

“That you’re prettttyyyy.” Sokka smiled innocently.

“No. Sokka that’s ridiculous.” Zuko folded his arms across his chest, distracted by the sudden request.

“Say it.”

“No.”

“Sayyyy ittttt!” Zuko groaned and Sokka continued to press him.

“I’m pretty.” Zuko huffed out irritably, but the annoyance faded as he met Sokka’s soft and lazy smile as he leaned back into his pillow. 

“Believe it.” Sokka grumbled, but Zuko just rolled his eyes with a sharp exhale.

“I’ll stay here until Katara comes home, okay?” Zuko whispered as Sokka’s eyelids got heavy and they slid closed.

“M’kayyyy.” Zuko sighed, switching off the bedroom light, and closing the door behind him, savoring one last glance at Sokka, curled up in his bed, breath heavy, and eyelashes twitching as he tried to get comfortable.

Zuko shut the door and suddenly became aware of how exhausted, how _overwhelmed_ he felt. With a groan, he collapsed onto the couch in the living room, letting the welcoming silence envelope him, as the gears in his brain kicked up again. And as the gears rotated, only one thought rampaged through him, so violent and so dangerous, he found himself shaking.

Sokka had tried to kiss him. Sokka had tried to kiss him! _Sokka had tried to kiss him!_

And Fuck…

Zuko had wanted to kiss him back. Zuko had never fought himself so hard on a decision, knowing what he wanted versus the consequences it had. But even as his longing boiled in his stomach so much so that it made his face contort in agony, he made his decision. 

There was no way in hell he would ever allow that to happen, for the sake of Sokka’s safety, and with a deep clenching of pain rising from his chest to the skin of his eye, his own safety too.

* * *

**Visit my[tumblr](https://daisythedoodledog.tumblr.com/) here!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all thought we'd be getting to the swing dancing... you thought wrong. I do not own the scene from Risky business, it was simply my inspiration for the first part!
> 
> Also Suki really be channeling her inner Robin from Stranger Things with her "dingus" comment
> 
> So really, this turned out to be 10,000 words and I sincerely apologize for the length. I wish I could say chapter will get shorter, but that's a freakin lie I tell myself all the time. But let me know if you prefer more, but shorter chapters, or if you're chill with these monstrosities. 
> 
> I'm on Tumblr now!!!!! Go find me under daisythedoodledog, where I will be posting fanarts that I've been working on for this story! I'm way to overly invested in this, sheesh. Anyway,, thank you again for reading, it means the world to me!!! Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	8. The Lies of Serpents and Tearing of Moons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka tries to pretend the night before didn't happen and Zuko gets over a fear... sort of. But things happen, and its like the universe hates the idea of them being happy. The proof of that is the shreds of paper at Sokka's feet and the shattered glass in Zuko's hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll it's gonna get a lot worse before it gets better...
> 
> On that wonderfully cheery note, welcome back everyone!!! This chapter takes such a turn I was not expecting, BUT the parallels in here... I don't like to toot my own horn buuuuuttttt. I definitely wasn't in the midst of a mental breakdown when I wrote this!
> 
> So here's a slice of my pain!
> 
> Trigger Warning: Panic attacks, anxiety, homophobia, and major mental breakdowns.

**Chapter Eight- The Lies of Serpents and Tearing of Moons**

_ I’m hearing whispers and I can’t tell if they're in my head or not. I hear them hissing lies like a serpent whose only fevered desire is to plague the imagination with its deadly venom, running white hot through veins, thoughts, and movements. It only takes a single strike for the beast to take me down, its tongue long enough to hold the transcript of the lies, rumors, fabrications of perception. It’s fangs hold the droplets of animosity that sting the skin and burn the space behind the eyes until the dams fall.  _

_ What do I know of these perceptions? What do I know that decides what’s real and what’s a figment of the imagination, corrupted into a writhing leviathan trapped in my ribcage? I hear the voices and all that they say, until I’m forced into believing their message. Deep down I know they aren’t true, but when that darkness becomes the only surrounding reality, knowing what isn't there, means nothing. _

_ I keep the voices inside, the darkness swelling into the poisonous droplets waiting to drip from the fang of the serpent. I know now that they’re in my head, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t real. And the voices still hiss the lies that my subconscious has fallen victim too, but by now, I don’t flinch at their screams, I simply nod my head and bow down to the tyrant that takes control of my head. Monsters inside my head they say, but I don’t see them, I just hear the voices of the serpent, whispering the truths about them. They don’t care. Don’t appreciate me. And I nod in my hypnosis, for that is the truth.  _

_ I am nothing. I am nothing. I am nothing. This is the truth, this I know for sure. And the snake still talks to me, morphing the words on people’s lips into the meanings I can clearly see behind them. They don’t mean a single word, and the snake tells me that. They can see far more than I could ever be able to. They are the voices and the voices are me. And I am nothing. _

Tears were streaming down Sokka’s face as he held the pages between his stiff fingers, reading the words in their perfect, slanted lettering over and over until the tears burned through his eyes and made his vision sticky. The tears made his head throb- worse than it already did, the words penetrating his head and resigning as an agonizing pound against his forehead.

Maybe he was just this emotional because he was horribly hungover. His whole body ached, although a bottle of Gatorade and some Advil had helped for the most part, but unfortunately, it couldn’t make the night before disappear from his memories.

That’s right, he remembered almost everything that happened at the party. It was like a fever dream, but he still remembered. And he wanted nothing more than to forget. He had yet to emerge from his room and it was nearing noon, but he figured everyone else was still lounging around the house, Katara probably on her third cup of coffee, and so he felt no need to leave his room and get swarmed by their questions, like “Where did you and Zuko run off to last night?”

He was not ready to answer that question.

And worse, he wasn’t ready to face Zuko. Not after he epically fucked up, ruined their whole friendship probably and scared the guy off. Sokka had invaded his personal space, ignored his strict boundaries, and wow, he was such as ass! He growled to himself at the thought, his attention quickly turning to the pages in his numb fingers. He didn’t remember stealing the pages before him, at least not right away, but once he read the title, the familiar gut twisting anxiety came flooding back.

He shouldn’t have stolen the list, but in a way, he was glad that he did. Because now that he stared at it, his drying tears leaving salty residues on his cheeks, he realized just how  _ bad  _ it was. As he read down the scribbles, they got progressively worse, but most noticeable were the more recent additions, all of them having Sokka’s name incorporated. 

That’s where Sokka really lost it. Had he seriously thought he had failed Sokka? Did  _ Sokka  _ fail him? _ I did last night, _ he thought with a heavy sigh. And when he had turned to the last page, he got that awful writing piece, that despite its message, was beautifully written, and well… Sokka lost it at that too. He shuddered, and tucked the folded pages back in his pocket, wiping his face and rubbing his eyes, trying to get rid of his messy appearance. He supposed he needed to face the day at some point, so he pushed himself off the bed, headache roaring through his ears by the movement. With slight hesitation, he then opened the door, sliding into the hallway, but of course, he was already being bombarded by Aang and Appa.

“Good morning! Katara made waffles, you want some?” Appa barked with excitement, making Sokka press the heels of his palms against his temples irritably.

“Have… you been waiting at my door?”

“Yes siree! I wanna know the juicy goods!” Appa let out a howl in agreement.

“...What?” Sokka exhaled and turned around to go right back into his room, but Toph had slid into the hallway, arms folded over her chest as she tapped her foot impatiently.

“Uh, Sokka! Where do you think you’re going?” Aang dragged Sokka from the doorway and into the main room, Toph on their heels.

“Aang! What’s going on?!” Sokka scowled as he flopped down on the living room couch, feeling the heavy pulse of his heart thumping through his brain.

“Tell us everything!” Toph clapped her hands together in greedy excitement, a devilish grin growing on her face.

“No! Not everything! He’s still my brother and I don’t want to hear the details!” Katara called from the kitchen, Suki’s laugh ringing from the table as she gripped a cup of coffee.

“Okay! Seriously what is going on?!” Sokka growled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Jig’s up Sokka! We all know it!” Toph shouted, a wicked grin spreading across her face, revealing her deep dimples.

“What jig? Are you guys high, or am I still drunk?” Katara emerged from the kitchen, spatula in her hand as she leaned against the door frame.

“You and Zuko. We all saw you guys disappear into his room last night.”

“Yeah, and then I saw you guys sneaking out back to come back here!” Aang added as Toph laughed out, crossing her arms. 

“I… I think there’s been a misunderstanding…”

“So you’re telling us, that after all his disgusting heart-eyes, and your “I have to protect Zuko with my life” crap, that you didn’t sleep with each other?” Toph jabbed a finger in his face as he jumped up, utterly mortified by the conversation.

“I’m  _ sorry, _ WHAT? Zuko and I did  _ not _ sleep with each other! He doesn’t even like me like that!” They all raised an eyebrow. “ _ I  _ don’t like Zuko like that!”

“Uh-huh.” Toph responded, completely unconvinced. “So then, what did happen?.” A thick lump formed in Sokka’s throat as his stomach twisted with guilt.

“N-nothing. I was drunk and Zuko took me home. I don’t even really remember last night.” He replied with a shrug. 

“So how do you know if you slept with him or not?” Aang pointed out, but Sokka shot him such a deadly glare, he shut up pretty fast.

“Because I’d think I’d know, if I did  _ that _ . A lot more than just my head would be hurting. Ugh! Why is this a conversation we’re having?” Sokka threw his hands up in the air, completely exasperated. Toph snickered, but Katara was staring him down with a skeptical squint of her eyes, making him feel as if she was reading his every thought.

“Zuko didn’t seem that drunk compared to you though…” Katara thought for a moment, before an absolutely murderous look crossed her face.

“He didn’t take  _ advantage  _ of you, did he?! I swear to God, I’ll fucking kill him.” Sokka vigorously shook his head, eyes widening. He had been the one to try and take advantage of Zuko. He had been the one to freak him out, to make him nervous. Sokka felt sick to his stomach

“How dare you Katara?! Zuko would never do something like that! He would never hurt me!” Sokka was screaming now, his throbbing head only intensifying as he stood, fists clenched. 

“Okay, okay.” She held her hands up in surrender. “Just… some things feel unclear.”

“Like what? Why did you all assume Zuko and I slept together?” At this, Toph roared with laughter, boisterous and mocking, and shit did it make Sokka’s head pound furiously. Katara and Suki placed their hands at their hips at the exact same time, making the situation ten times more scrutinizing than it already was. Aang sent him a soft shrug, but the corners of his lips were twisting upwards in a smile that he failed to hold back.

“You know what, fuck all of you.” Sokka waved his hand around the room, growling as he stormed from the house, the folded list crinkling in his back pocket.

  
  


**〜⛭〜**

  
  


Sokka spent the majority of his afternoon wandering the beaches, surfboard tucked under his arm, trying to ease his horrible headache. By the mid-afternoon, his throbbing brain had been reduced to a dull ache that could be ignored, and had allowed him to actually enjoy the beach that he stood on. He hadn’t actually surfed in over a month, and suddenly the draw of the tide was gravitating. So he found a nice quiet part of the beach, hopefully not some private beach that he could be arrested for trespassing on, and found a spot to settle in the sand.

The sun was brutal today, making him shrug off his shirt and discard it in the sand next to his towel. He ran his fingers over the smooth sealing of the surfboard, the deep navy blue color decorated with white waves and patterns. He brought his gaze towards the ocean, the roaring waves crashing against the shore, leaving pearly foam to glisten in the sunlight, mist rising up from the impact of earth and sea. Sokka smiled at the sight and stood, heaving the surfboard with him as he ran into the ocean, letting the board clap against the waves as he flopped onto his stomach, rotating his arms so that he was pushed from shore.

There was something truly freeing about being surrounded by the water, letting it spill up and sting his eyes, letting the salty smell waft into his nose. He pushed onward, shoving away his inhibitions, letting the breeze push his braided wolf’s tail out of it’s neat look, until most of the short strands were wild. Sokka watched the fluffy white clouds glide across the endless blue sky. It was truly serene out here. He didn’t have his grievances to shackle his thoughts out here.

A wave came rolling towards him, growing rapidly as it approached the shore, and Sokka grinned, pushing himself further out, until he could rotate the board and the wave surged him forward. He laughed out, as he stood letting the water carry him, and it was thrilling; being able to slice the water with your hand and feel the mist kick up in your face, a refreshing coolness from the blinding rays of the sun. He shook the water from his hair as he guided the board towards the coastline, the wave fizzling out to a more calming bounce.

He looked up and caught sight of a figure on the beach, strikingly familiar, and well, Sokka almost slapped himself, because he always seemed to run into Zuko here.  _ Seriously, the deja vu of it all was getting a little ridiculous.  _ Part of him debated turning the board around and pretending he never saw Zuko, but that part of him made his stomach lurch with regret and guilt, and plus, his eyes had already landed on Zuko’s form with his perfect posture and perfectly messy hair being tossed by the wind.

Against his better judgement, Sokka slipped off the board, the sand soft under his feet as he emerged from the water.

“Sokka? What are you doing out here?” Zuko asked, squinting against the sun. Sokka tried to contain the nervous flip-flop of his stomach but he found himself already staring at Zuko’s golden eyes.

“Uh…” Sokka snapped back to reality. “Just surfing. The gang was annoying me and I had this massive hangover headache and-” Sokka was rambling and so he shut himself up, especially by the word “hangover” making Sokka shift uncomfortably for what he had done the night before.

“It was… quite the party last night.” Sokka nodded meekly, swallowing against the lump in his throat, a rosy tint rising up his cheeks as the guilt from last night flooded him.

“I uh… don’t really remember much.” Sokka lied. He cursed at himself for breaking the one promise he and Zuko had made to each other, but he didn’t have much choice with his already wavering dignity at stake! It would be so much easier to forget it happened at all.

“Oh… me either.” Zuko lied with surprising ease. Sokka shot him a skeptical look, but shrugged it away. It was better to not remember that night. Not because Sokka's eyes were so beautiful in the lightning, and not because Zuko wanted to kiss him so much, feel the thrill in his chest, but because he had known it was wrong, and he knew the consequences. 

“Do you… Are you busy? If you are, that's fine! I just thought-” Sokka gave him a lopsided grin.

“Yeah I’m free. I’m just avoiding the household until they all go down to the pier for the festival tonight.” Sokka flopped down into the sand and Zuko followed suit, sitting cross-legged on the towel next to him.

“Are you going to the festival?” Zuko asked hesitantly, watching Sokka bask in the sunlight, feeling his chest tighten with a forbidden excitement.

“Tonight? Nah. I think the flash lights won’t be good for my headache. You?”

“No, I don’t think I’m going to go. All those people… I can’t see good out of my left eye and it can be disorienting.” Sokka leaned back on his hands, lifting his chin to the sun as if letting the rays kiss his cheeks. He cracked open his eyes and met Zuko’s gaze.

“Yeah… I think a movie night is far superior. Just a whole platter of junk food, a good action movie and pajamas. That sounds pretty nice.” Zuko hummed in response, thinking about how wonderful it would be to curl up with Sokka on the couch and watch old 90s movies and stuff their faces with candy. Zuko blinked, realizing he couldn’t give into such simple dreams. _ That was wrong and he couldn’t have that. _

“Away from the ocean.” Zuko commented finally and smiled softly as Sokka’s face cracked into a subtle grin.

“Oh for sure. Maybe we won’t watch Jaws.” He snarked, digging his feet into the sand. Zuko couldn’t but grin back.

“Maybe that’s not for the best.” Zuko turned to fully face Sokka, as he slowly sat upright, the two caught between their web of fixated stares, eyes flicking up from a mix of gold and blue to each other’s lips, in a longing, Zuko knew was wrong and Sokka knew he couldn’t have.

It was infuriating. 

Sokka withheld the urge to grumble at himself and tore away from the exchange letting his eyes rest on the ocean, it’s calming presence washing over him again, even though Zuko’s hot breath against his neck was destroying him from the inside.

Pulling himself away from the moment, Sokka stood and dragged his surfboard to an upright position.

“We’re getting rid of your fear of water.” Sokka announced without warning. Zuko jumped and began to sputter incoherent syllables, which only made Sokka laugh. “Come on. I want to help.” Sokka stuck his surfboard into the sand, its length towering over him, making Zuko sweat profusely.

“We aren’t going out to catch waves like Katara, no that's suicide. We could start with paddle boarding.” Zuko frantically shook his head, backing away. 

“No. No way in hell.” Sokka’s expression was soft and reassuring, but it wasn’t  _ that  _ reassuring. Sokka held out his hand.

“Do you trust me?” Zuko wanted to shake his head again, but he didn’t move. He was frozen. “Do you trust me?” Sokka repeated, the warmth of the sun's rays reflecting off of Sokka’s glowing skin in a golden cascade. Zuko blinked, bringing his gaze towards the ocean, gentler now that the low tide had set in. It was a pulse of the tide coming back and forth.

“Think of the tide, like your breathing. Your inhale is the tide washing up, and your exhale is its receding form. Breathe with the ocean, and take my hand.” And then, Zuko gingerly took Sokka’s hand. 

God, he was such a push-over when it came to Sokka. 

Sokka grinned and led him down to the shore line, dropping the board in the sand, watching the water envelope it, causing it to float in the inch of water. Zuko was visibly shaking, but Sokka didn’t bring it up, instead he tightened his grip, fingers wrapped around his palm in a security, that while wasn't necessarily relaxing to Zuko, at least gave him the ability to breathe.

“I’m just going to push the board out a little, just about knee deep.” Sokka let go of his hand and pushed the board into the water, careful not to splash too much as he got out just far enough for the board to properly float. “Okay, you first.” Zuko stood at the very edge of where the water graced the earth, the tide sweeping over his feet, bringing sand and tiny shells between his toes. Zuko stiffened. He looked up seeing the darkening waters, swirling before him like a dark hole, and with that he felt his throat swell shut. He took a step back, his foot leaving a light indentation in the sand.

“Hey, look at me. Breathe.” Sokka took a slow inhale, bringing his hand up and then back down with his exhale, aligning perfectly with the ocean’s own breath of the tide. Zuko could barely move his head as he followed suit. Sokka beckoned him to follow and with a small step, his foot disappeared under the wave, the cool water soothing across his skin.

With one hand on the board and the other reaching out to Zuko, Sokka patiently waited for him to take his hand. Zuko did. One step, two steps. Zuko squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the water climb higher and higher until it reached his thigh. He immediately turned around, but Sokka’s grip was too firm.

“I’ve got you.” Those little words were so reassuring, so gentle that it made goosebumps travel up his arm. Zuko opened his eyes, just enough to see Sokka gazing at him.

“It’s going to be shaky, but I won’t let you fall.” Zuko nodded, resting his hand on the board. “I have to let you go so you can get on. But I’m right here.” Zuko was hesitant, as if Sokka was lying, the serpents running through his ear canals hissing the lies that made him second guess everything. What if Sokka was going to play some sick prank on him? What if Sokka- He slammed his eyelids shut, blocking out the lies. It was okay.  _ Sokka had him _ . He gripped the board with both hands, and heaved himself up, wobbling and cursing nervously as Sokka held the surfboard. But he managed to push himself up and let his legs dangle overboard. One he was securely on, Sokka tossed his leg over in one swift motion that made the board rock, making Zuko nearly hurl his lunch into the ocean.

_ The ocean. _ Oh shit.  _ Shit shit shit shit.  _ Sokka caught the franticness in Zuko’s eyes and rested a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay. See? Focus on me Zuko, not the water. I got you.” Sokka let go and grabbed the oar, pushing them off slowly. “Inhale and exhale with the tide. I won’t let you go.” 

“Sokka-” Zuko choked out, already the sensation of water filling his lungs, suffocating him back to that moment.

“Shh, I know. We won’t go far. You can even sit criss-crossed on the board if that’s more comfortable. You’ll be okay.”

“What if… What if the riptide-” Zuko began to hyperventilate, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“There’s no riptide here. You can tell by the way the waves are continuous across. There's no sudden break between the foam. We’re safe.” Zuko exhaled shakily, as Sokka pushed the board onward, as it glided over a little wave, rocking the stability of the board slightly. Zuko gasped, grabbing Sokka’s hand in the process, fear coursing through his veins.

“Take me back. I can’t do it…”  _ I’m weak.  _ He hissed out, Sokka’s hand turning white by the sheer pressure of Zuko’s grip. Sokka shook his softly, as he bit down on his lip.

“You can, Zuko. I know you can. I  _ got  _ you.” Sokka paused, pulling the oar from the water. “Here. I want you to steer.” Zuko’s eyes widened as he shook his head, but Sokka had already thrusted the oar in his hands. Zuko gulped, unable to say anything else, as he pierced the water with the paddle, feeling the push of the tide against the wide part of the oar. He pushed against it apprehensively, and found that even with the ocean’s resistance, he had the power to move the surfboard in any direction he pleased. He narrowed his eyes and pushed against the water again, feeling the water rush against his feet as they moved outward. With that, he felt his breath match that of the tide. Sokka smiled.

“See? You’re in control here. Not the ocean.” Sokka watched in a peaceful silence as Zuko continued to paddle, moving them sluggishly over the gentle rock of the waves. And within half an hour, Zuko’s shoulders lessened a little in their tension, his expression becoming slightly more slack and his grip on the oar wasn’t turning his knuckles white. Sokka beamed at him the entire time, swinging his legs through the water as he soaked in the sun and cool water and Zuko’s gentle gaze on him.

“Hey Zuko, watch this.” Zuko glanced up from the water and watched in horror, as Sokka suddenly dived off the edge of the board, his whole body disappearing under the dark waves.

“Sokka?!” Zuko howled, and with that Sokka’s head popped out of the water, hair stuck to his face and his arms treading water lightly.

“I’m fine Zuko. See?” Sokka kicked his foot up, slashing against the surface as he showed the surfboards cord wrapped around his foot. “Push us towards the shore so we can touch the bottom.” Zuko nodded nervously, doing as he was told, until Sokka could rest easy in the sand. 

“Okay, now…” Sokka held out both hands and stood at full height, the water rushing up to his shoulders. Sokka nodded steadily, motioning for Zuko to slide off the board. Zuko began to sputter for an excuse, but Sokka cut him off.

“C-can… Can I?” Sokka reached out tentatively, and Zuko understood what he was asking to do. Without hesitation, Zuko nodded. Gingerly, Sokka placed his hands on Zuko’s hips, while Zuko steadied the board beneath him still bobbing with each little wave. “I got you.” Sokka whispered, voice broken up by the light breeze pushing his wet strands of tousled hair. Slowly, Zuko slid himself off the board, Sokka’s hands still at his waist, which made him shudder at the contact...but as he noticed, not in a bad way. 

And just like that, Zuko was almost completely surrounded by water. He would have panicked, if not for the proud smile spreading across Sokka’s face.

“I know I didn’t cure you of any fear, but did this help?” Zuko nodded, his lips twitching into a smile of his own, and as the water pulsed passed them, he realized Sokka’s hands were still on his hips, but under the sapphire water, where the light of the sun couldn’t shine through and show it, Zuko didn’t feel the need to wither away.

Sokka blinked slowly as Zuko’s warm breath blew in his face, but he was so entranced by the golden specs illuminated in his eyes, that Sokka would have let himself drown right there, and he would have died happy. But Sokka was being dramatic -per usual.-

“Umm…” Sokka trailed off nervously, becoming hyper-aware of his senses, tearing himself away from Zuko. He gulped, letting himself sink into the water until it reached the tip of his nose. Zuko smiled a little more, which made Sokka’s heart do flips in his chest and  _ was this the pre signs of a heart attack??? _ Sokka shook himself from his thoughts and tugged on the edge of the surfboard.

“Do you… uh… Do you wanna head back? To my place? I have a bunch of leftovers that need to be eaten.” Zuko didn’t respond as he pulled himself from the water heading up the shore until the water left his sides and was nothing more than a white foam at his feet. Sokka watched from behind as Zuko turned around, the gentle smile still holding firm on his expression as he called for Sokka to follow.

Sokka swore it was like slow motion and… wow, he was so fucked.

  
  


**〜⛭〜**

  
  


“So,” Sokka said through a mouthful of rice. “Whatcha think?” He pointed his fork at Zuko’s plate filled to the brim with Chicken Tikka Masala, which Sokka had made the night before for dinner, after telling the chef to go home early. Zuko smiled softly through his chewing.

“Fantastic. You should be a chef.” Sokka blushed furiously and looked down at his plate to try and hide it. He realized he failed, when he glanced up to catch Zuko’s knowing smirk.

“I don’t know.” Sokka’s voice cracked, ruining his facade to keep cool. “I’ve always been into engineering, inventing stuff, you know. So I always went down that path. What do you want to do?” Sokka swallowed, trying to move away from the topic of himself. Zuko looked up at him and blinked.

“I… no one’s ever asked me that.” Sokka dropped his fork, the silverware making a loud clatter against the plate.

“No one has ever asked you what you want to do with your life?!” That’s it. Sokka was going to march down to Zuko’s house and beat the shit out of his father. Zuko simply shrugged as if it was no big deal. This made Sokka absolutely livid.

“I guess not. I’m being forced into political science to follow my dad in his politics, so that one day, I can be mayor or senator, or president… something like that. But I guess,” Zuko exhaled. “If I had a choice, I’d want to be a writer.” His hair hid his eyes and the embarrassment creeping up his neck, but Sokka beamed.

“You should be. You are a great writer. I’d love to read more… if you’d ever let me.” Zuko glanced up catching those crystal clear blue eyes, thunderous and bolting with energy. 

“Thanks… I don’t think I’m very good but-”

“Buh buh buh! You are an  _ amazing  _ writer. Say it.” Sokka held up his hand and stared at him very matter-of-factly.

“Sokka,” Zuko groaned, but Sokka only raised his eyebrows impatiently. Zuko knew he wasn’t getting out of this, especially by the way Sokka folded his arms over his chest.

“I’magreatwriter.” Zuko pushed out in barely a mumble. Sokka leaned across the table.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” A devilish grin played on his lips, making Zuko scowl.

“I’m a great writer.” Zuko grumbled again, this time with a little more emphasis, but still low on his breath. Sokka grinned, cupping his ear with a hand.

“One more time, for the people in the back.” Zuko glared and chucked his napkin at him. Sokka jumped back sputtering, but both of them were laughing, and the rest of the world was still for a moment and everything was bliss.

When their laughing dialed back and the dishes were washed up -not to mention the entire fridge cleaned out by their massive appetites- Sokka dragged Zuko into the living room. They both flopped down on opposite sides of the couch, Sokka throwing his arms over his head as he slid down and twisted his torso so that he could pull his feet up onto the sofa. Zuko raised an eyebrow and with one simple glance, before the both of them burst into blushes and chuckles.

“You never got to teach me how to swing dance.” Sokka said suddenly, making Zuko flinch out of a wonderful daydream he was having. Sokka’s eyes suddenly widened at his own statement spilling from his lips, that he bounced up hands in the air.

“Y-you don’t have to! I- uh… I don’t know. I just-” Sokka was cut off as Zuko stood up, a brief rush of confidence making him not freeze in place.

Sure, Zuko thought about the… touching. It was wrong and his brain screamed alarms at him, but he then his eyes met Sokkas’ and the surprised smile on his face, so full of enthusiasm, that he couldn’t resist. So he pushed his fears down his throat with a thick swallow and took Sokka’s hand in his own.

“I’ll show you… I don’t know if I’m any-” Sokka held a finger to his lips, shutting him up.

“Nope. Don’t start the negativity. I’m sure you’re amazing. It’s just me here, no one else, so don’t worry.”  _ All the more reason to worry _ Zuko scoffed to himself. He wanted to be something to Sokka, prove to Sokka that just maybe he wasn’t the inevitable failure that he was pretty sure he was. He glanced up once, and blushed furiously.

How was he going to get through this without dying of a heart attack?

While Sokka could not read Zuko's mind, he had a very similar thought.

Sokka tugged at his hands, bringing Zuko’s attention towards him once more. Sokka blinked a few times, making sure this moment was not his mind playing cruel tricks. It most certainly was real. He wasn't sure whether to feel giddy or queasy about the realization. He huffed out a sigh and nodded. Zuko steadied his expression in total concentration and gingerly rested a hand on his shoulder.   
  
"Put your hand here. Right, no don't give me that look- Yeah, your other hand here." Zuko smiled, except it wasn’t comforting, to Sokka’s racing heart. In fact it seemed to speed his heart rate up even more.  _ Oh yes, this is where I’ll die now. _ Sokka gulped a little as his hand rested awkwardly on Zuko’s hipbone feeling the tense line of muscle that seized up nervously. What had happened to Zuko? What really happened that made him like this?

Zuko loosely held Sokka’s hand, the warmth of his skin tightening his chest. Why was he suddenly so self conscious? He felt like he was choking yet he was breathing so quickly that it felt as if his lungs might give out in attempts to keep up with his beating heart. They stood several inches apart, but Sokka could still feel the heat radiate off him. Zuko let go for a moment to play a song on his phone, but took Sokka’s hand in his again and pulled him to the center of the room.

And although he tried to get lost in the music, so much blocked his mind. So many thoughts that made his head pound right along with heart. He almost felt his fingers trembling against Sokka. He let go of a heavy breath, trying to regain his emotionless headset, but as soon as he saw those big blue eyes patiently waiting to begin, his heart slammed against his rib cage.   
  
Zuko gave him a slight nod and began to lead, moving and swaying with the song in a simple box step rotation. It wasn't really the type of song you did such a formal dance for, but Zuko figured it'd be best to start simple. The simple pattern happened to go along perfectly with the notes and rhythms of the song, making it easier for him to barely hum along. He glanced down at the pair of shoes across from him and watched as they followed him with an immersion that only made them stumble feebly once or twice.  _ 1...2...3...4 _   
  
He allowed a smile to rotate the corner of his mouth. Sokka was a fast learner as he mumbled the numbers under his breath so he'd line up with the beat. Cautiously, Zuko increased the speed, adding a little improvisation every now and again. He paused momentarily to allow Sokka to process the fact that he was dancing. 

“See? It’s not so hard.” Zuko nodded eagerly. Sokka inched closer as they continued the gentle movement, their feet tracing squares on the floor. Zuko smiled softly, but pulled away, feeling the loss of warmth and his chest tighten. He smoothed out his shirt and sighed softly.

“Let's move on to the fun stuff!” Sokka said with a grin, practically bouncing. Zuko sighed but obliged, moving back into position. 

“By fun, I hope you don’t mean dancing in our underwear on top of a coffee table.” Zuko snarked, making Sokka playfully smack him in the right shoulder.

“Very funny, asshole.” Sokka rolled his eyes and pretended to not care, but his face and ear had heated up pretty quickly.

“Follow my steps, but once you get comfortable, just… get creative. Like you’re writing a story with your feet.”

“Or painting a picture?” Zuko nodded.

“That works too.” So Sokka followed, Zuko kicking out his right foot and twirling them around the room in a rhythmic pattern- a more lavish style of the box rotation, with their arms moving out from the confinements of the ballroom dancing pose. Sokka threw his head back and laughed, relaxed and quickly getting the hang of the motions. When Zuko kicked his leg back, Sokka would mimic and kick his leg forward,a reflection of the actions as Zuko led. Zuko would bounce on one foot and Sokka followed, fingers intertwined as they swung their arms with the melody. And within minutes, Sokka really was painting a picture in the floor with his feet, tugging Zuko and his surprised expression along, a smile tugging on his lips nonetheless.

A new song came on,  _ When I Get Low, I Get High _ , and Sokka’s smile broadened as he  opened his arms and spun Zuko around, completely improvising. Zuko smirked and let go of Sokka’s grip, causing Sokka to fumble in confusion as Zuko spun again and snatched Sokka’s waist with his arm as he tumbled back into Zuko’s hold. While he could see the slight nervousness in Zuko's eyes, Sokka kept rolling with it was a little light in the darkness that swirled inside them. It was bliss. The movements, the singing from the radio, the way Sokka held Zuko’s hand like a perfect fit, and the way their chests brushed together as they heaved for air, their lungs hurting from laughing and singing. Zuko realized this, and attempted to pull himself away, but Sokka’s grip was tight and full of energy and Zuko couldn’t bear to disappoint him. So he danced. And he danced, because even if Sokka’s piercing blue eyes haunted him and made his heart leap right out of his chest all at the same time -and he wasn’t allowed to feel things like that- it was still a piece of himself he never wanted to let go of. 

He danced so he could be free to forget, so that he could have something to love, even when it felt like no one loved him back.   


But dancing for the first time since his mother… it was, God there were no words. Zuko could only smile a smile he hadn’t felt since his mother was alive. And to have Sokka with him, hands on his waist in a firm, reassuring grip, legs bucking back as they danced, everything seemed to fit together for just a moment.

A couple more songs passed, leaving them panting for air, but laughing with rapture until a different type of song eased its way through the speaker.

_ ‘Round Midnight _ . Zuko remembered his mother singing this song to him, and the familiarity of it sent shivers down his spine. Sokka lightly pressed his hand against the small of Zuko’s back, glancing up nervously, as if to ask if the motion was okay, and Zuko, so completely entranced, melted into the touch, finding himself leaning just the slightest bit closer.

Their eyes closed, slipping away into gentle lyrics and meditating melody. It was something they both hadn’t heard in a long time. Everything in their life was fast paced. Time sped up, but the earth didn’t spin for them. Seconds ticked away, and before they knew it, weeks would pass, and they would still feel the hollowness in their chests.

But now, their noses were so close, it would have been so easy to kiss him, and Zuko really almost did. But he didn’t want a relapse of the night before and so he stuffed the urge deep into his ribcage and swayed gently to the music, feet barely shuffling against the ground now. He glanced up to find those ocean blue eyes staring at him, gentle like the incoming tide, but bleeding the sapphire gems between the rotating galaxies of his irises.  _ Like the ocean _ , Zuko thought to himself,  _ they weren’t so scary anymore. _

“ _ Memories always start 'round midnight. Haven't got the heart to stand those memories” _ The lyrics sank into Sokka making a chill run up his arms, as his head filled with questions and possible answers to those impossible questions.  _ What had happened? _ To him, to Zuko... to the world?  _ What had happened to Zuko? _ How did he get from  _ there _ to  _ here _ , in this moment? How did the world forget to care? His smile faded, as he barely brushed a hand against Zuko’s lower back and saw him tense up almost immediately by the unexpected touch. Zuko faltered, his foot slipping as he almost stepped on his shoe.    
  
“Zuko?” Sokka parted slowly, and even though the music continued to play, an eerie silence fell over them. His head tilted softly and suddenly he had the urge to run his fingers across Zuko’s strong jawline and soft pink lips and rough scar. His hands were still placed gently at his hips, his thumbs tickling his skin through the thin cotton shirt. Zuko gazed at him, almost as if he was in a trance. Sokka opened his mouth to speak, but found that he was unable to. One question came to the front of his mind. One that nagged at him until he was forced to ask it out loud, because Sokka never did have much of a verbal filter.   
  
“What happened to you?”

**〜⛭〜**

Zuko hated that he ran. One moment he was perfectly content, actually considering throwing out everything he knew and restarting for the ocean, but next thing he knew he was snapping back into the reality and the anxiety that chained him to the floor, forced him to watch as Sokka drowned before him. Sokka had broken that bliss with a question he had the right to ask, and Zuko should have told him. He should have because despite his past relationships, he trusted Sokka with every fiber with his being, and being that close to him… Zuko shuddered.

Zuko had bolted. There was no undoing that. He had abandoned Sokka and the house and the music was still playing from his phone as he burst through the door and ran home. Everything about the situation was horrible. All he wanted was to feel the warmth he had felt standing so close to Sokka, but he pinched his wrist until solid red bruises formed in his skin, for he knew what he couldn’t have.

He let the dreamcatchers destroy his chances, because he knew it was wrong.  _ He  _ was wrong.

Zuko didn’t want to go home, but going to the Jasmine Dragon wasn’t an option he wanted either. Iroh gave him too many warm smiles and sympathetic pats on the shoulder, and Zuko didn’t want to be touched. He didn’t want to be seen.

He really wanted to sail off the edge of the world.

When he reached his room, it was still horribly unfamiliar, like some distant planet he was forced to inhabit. He blinked slowly, feeling the darkness of the room wash over him, and lull him toward his bed, where he could curl up and hide under the thin sheets, but he stood frozen in place. 

He had fucked up.

He shouldn’t have ran. He shouldn’t have led Sokka on like that, he shouldn’t have even talked to Sokka that first day to begin with. He had just ruined Sokka’s summer, he was sure of it. Sokka, of course, hadn't ruined anything for him, Sokka and his friends had made it the best summer of his life, even if it was still ruled by the fear and thick barbed wire fence that prevented him from escaping his own life. Zuko squeezed his eyes shut, letting the salty tears burn his eyes until they were red rimmed and the dark bags were particularly defined. Look at what he had done.

Slowly, he went over to his neat stack of books, the same stack that Sokka had knocked over the night before and shuffled through them, looking for his list to read all over all the reasons he deserved the miserable life he got handed to him. Not that he wanted this life, not that he wanted to run away from Sokka like that, but what choice did he have?

He couldn’t let Sokka have a fate he didn’t deserve. Zuko knew what he deserved, and he hung his head in shame for what he was. 

It wasn’t there. He pursed his lips and continued to flip through the pages of the book he regularly stuffed the list inside, but it was nowhere. Then the most horrific thought crossed his mind:

What if Azula found it? His brain erupted into signal flares, frantically rifling through his things for the list, but when he turned up empty handed, his feet swayed beneath him. His airways swelled shut in that moment, and everything became a hazy blur of black dots around him as he fell into the depths of a panic attack, every nerve in his body rattling him to the core all the while he felt an eerie numbness creep up from his fingertips. He slid to the floor, knees tucked to his chest as he tried to gulp in air that simply wasn’t reaching deep enough to make a difference. His hands immediately went up to his hair, tugging and pulling at the thick strands until his scalp begged him to stop with a dull ache. But he couldn't breathe, could barely see through the tears that welled up in his eyes but refused to fall.

Everything around him was spinning too fast, too out of control, and so he roughly pressed his eyes into his knees, grunting desperately for air. He sat there, completely frozen with the exception of his labored breath, feeling the invisible chains slither up from the floor and wrap around his legs, shackling him to the ground. 

Zuko let the darkness wash over him, let his shaking take control of his body and reduce to nothing but shambles, and let the anxiety conquer him. For what was the point of fighting it?

“No, No! Stay away from me!” Zuko’s head snapped up at the sudden shriek, and his adrenaline kicked into action before his brain had even caught up. His trembling body was suddenly off of the floor and bursting down the hallway. He heard another shriek, but the words were incoherent, and as a response, he snatched the vase from a hall table as a weapon, sprinting down to the opposite end of the corridor to the large doors of Azula’s bedroom. He heard the sound of glass shattering, like a million tiny stars plunging towards the earth as the sky cracked. He used his foot to open Azula’s door.

Only Azula stood in the room, her hair a mess, blood dripping from her fingertips. 

“Azula! What’s going on?! Who are you talking to?” She whipped around, eyes frantic as they flickered up and down. She pushed her hand through her hair, trailing bloody streaks against her temple and tainting her gorgeous black hair.

“No! Stay away! I-I-I-” She backed away from him, her glower distant and hazy as if she did not recognize the person in front of her. “I told you to leave me alone!!” She bellowed, her feet tumbling over the tassels of the rug, her mind screaming for her to escape.  _ Get out get out get out! _

“Azula, it’s me! It’s Zuko!” He rushed forward, but stopped at shards of glass covering the ground. That explained the blood. His eyes shifted towards the large standing mirror, now reduced to nothing sharp spikes of broken glass jagged like the edges of blade cutting away at their sanity. Azula shook her head vigorously, parting her lips as if to scream, then promptly clamped her jaw shut, teeth grinding as her mind played cruel tricks on her eyes.

“Zuko?” She panted, suddenly snapping into reality. But she licked her dry lips and took a defensive stance, immediately falling victim to her hallucination again. 

“Don’t tell him! Don’t, don’t don’t don’t!” She pleaded, sobs wracking her body as she collapsed, shards of glass piercing her jeans. She opened her clenched fists, staring down at her bloody palms, fixated on the tiny gleaming glass chunks that pierced her skin. Her eyes followed the lines of her palms, and what once reminded him of a brilliant sunset not reduced a smoggy sky, yellow and sickly.

“Azula! Hold on, slow down! Let me help. I won’t say a thing.” Despite his sister's cruelty, Zuko slid to his knees, swiping away the largest pieces of glass to protect his own skin as he reached out to snag her wrists, to stop her violent shaking. He didn’t want her to fall like him. 

“No.” She sneered, bolting eyes meeting his worried gaze. Her makeup was smudged, perfect eyeliner ruined by her overflowing tears and deep brown eyes blown open with fear. “You will. You  _ will _ ! Stay away from me! Or I’ll tell him your dirty little secret!” She shrieked again, tears falling down her swollen face. She ripped away from him, stumbling back on her tailbone, and smashing her head into the edge of her desk. She barely even flinched.

“W-what?” Zuko backed away, wincing when a wedge of glass cut into his knee, drawing the faintest trace of blood.

“You know what I’m talking about! So stay away, take her and go!”  _ Her _ ? Zuko tilted his head in confusion. Who was  _ her _ ? Zuko’s features pinched into some form of twisted concern, mostly shock, and mostly confusion that only caused Azula to push him away again. 

“Her?” Zuko questioned. Azula nodded, pointing to the mirror, the ruins of glass underneath her.

“She was staring at me! That  _ bitch! _ ” She hissed, as Zuko stared at his reflection, darkness behind him and nothing but the ugly scar to mark his failures. But other than him, nobody was there.

“Azula, who?” She didn’t respond, but the way her lips pursed and parted just slightly with her exhale, Zuko could have sworn she huffed out the word, “mom.” 

“Azula, at least let me help you clean up your hands.” He tried to say calmly, but something boiled up his throat, making him feel as if he might barf.

“No, you’ll tell him! You always disappoint! Traitor! So I’ll tell him your secret! I’ll do it!” She cried out, trying to stand, but her knees buckled beneath her, as she began to hyperventilate.

“What secret?” Then she laughed in between gulps for air. The most sickening feeling coiled in his gut. 

“Ocean-eyes…” She hummed out, her eyes gleaming sinisterly, but her wicked grin fell into a forlong frown, the lines of her lips tracing downward in a slight tremble that for the slightest second, reflected Zuko’s own fearful expression.  _ How had she known? _

Zuko’s eyes widened, but in a desperate attempt to hide himself, recomposed his expression to the same firm narrowing. But Azula’s eyes flickered over his face, catching every slight movement.

“W-w-what?” Zuko swallowed thickly. “What does that mean?” Her eyes pierced into him, as she rifled through his thoughts, planning out to destroy each and every fiber of his being. Though it wasn’t really her fault in that moment, she was trained like this, manipulated like this. The perfect soldier. The perfect everything. There was no room for error, and seeing her crumble to the floor like this, Zuko began to piece things together.

“Oh you know! Traitor! Slumming it with- with those  _ peasants _ ! And I have proof!” She laughed maniacally then collapsed into a flood of tears, turning so pale, it was as if she had seen a ghost. “Go! Get out! Go!” She screamed so loudly it made Zuko’s eardrums rattle. So he sucked in his breath and did what he knew to do best.

Run. 

**〜⛭〜**

Sokka sat on his bedroom floor in the dark, back pressed uncomfortably against the bed as he faced the wall, staring at the lively yellow paint with a deadly glare.

He pushed his fingers through his hair, holding back the deep sob making its way up his throat. He gripped the tiny moon pendant his sister had gotten him, feeling the cool flat metal against his thumb and index finger. He closed his eyes and only then did he let the silent sob slip out, letting it suffocate him under its weight, the tears pushing past his closed eyelids, soaking his lashes and falling off the edge of his jaw.

He hadn’t felt like this… this devastation, since Yue. But this in a sense was worse. This was all  _ his  _ fault. He had started this fire, however metaphorical compared to the real one that took away the love of his life. The fire still raged on inside of him, burning away at his organs and filling his lungs with the toxic smoke he was sure was going to choke him one of these days, and suddenly, he didn’t mind if the smoke overwhelmed his senses and drew out his last breath before letting him fall..

If only he wasn’t such a fuck up. If only he had gone after him.

If only he had gone after Yue.

His face suddenly twisted into something so painful, so full of hate and anger, and sadness, that he didn’t care if the tears kept coming. He stood and with one rash decision that left him plummeting into the black hole, he began to tear down his artworks, his best and worst, ripping pages from sketch books and blinking each time he heard the pages being ripped in half by his own two hands. But he didn’t care. He didn’t even process what he had done until he was standing amidst a pile of ruins, colorful and messy, and now,  _ nothing more than shreds of paper. _ And in his trembling hands, the beautiful painting of Yue. He blinked slowly as he felt his earth shake beneath and split at the earthquake as he held the two sides of the picture and pulled, watching the gorgeous, soft features of Yue’s face be lost in the pile of forgotten artworks. 

She was gone. She wasn’t coming back, and he watched his now destroyed works with the roar of his screaming mind as it tore through him, sounding more like the world ripping in two. Like glass being shattered, like roofs being wrenched off the sense of security, sense of home, and like Pangea being split by the tectonic plates that still held the broken remnants of the past. 

Sokka collapsed.

“Sokka? Are you-” He cringed at the sound of his own name, but didn’t move from his position as Katara peaked into his room. Her whole face fell, as she burst into the room, closing the door behind her.

“Sokka? Oh, what happened?” She whispered, falling to her knees next to him. Tears welled in her eyes at just the state her brother was in, so distraught, so broken. She hadn’t seen him like this since Yue. Not even their mother’s death had left him this devastated. She didn’t touch him, knowing he could be radioactive in moments like this. Instead her gaze fell to the pile of shredded art, beautiful pieces laying out the ruins of Sokka’s pain.

Her gaze was only pulled up as Sokka threw his arms around her, face buried in her shoulder as a sob escaped him.

“I’m a fuck-up, Katara.” He muttered into her hair. She shook her head, wrapping her arms around him as she pulled him into a sturdy hug.

“No you’re not. Don’t say that.” She squeezed him harder, trying to hold back tears of her own. “You’re not,” she repeated. “You have never turned your back on me, or the people you love, and we all love you, Sokka. That’s not what a fuck-up does. Okay? I need you to look at me.” She whispered, reluctantly pulling herself away from Sokka’s weight as she looked him in the eye. He parted, but held a firm gaze on the floor. On the full moon ripped in half.

“Talk to me, Sokka. Please. Where is your head disappearing too? I want to help, please.” She held his head in her hands, pushing back messy strands of hair.

“I-I-I… I ruined everything. I, I should have gone after  _ him _ . But now…”

“Him?” Katara questioned, thinking his mind was still drifting out to sea towards the endless moon dipping on the horizon. But he bit his lip and nodded, a distant gaze flashing over his eyes. Katara nodded softly, beginning to understand.

“I did this… I…” Katara swept him up in another hug. 

“I love you Sokka, you know that, right?  _ Nothing  _ will ever change that.”

“I think… I think-” He cut himself off with a choke against another sob, pulling away and wiping his eyes. She stared at him and the beautiful oceans that roared freely slipped away into the polluted waters of the gulfs, dark and hazy.

“Katara? I-”

“I know Sokka. I know.” That was enough to make him unleash another sob as his hands went down to shuffle through the scattered papers. “Why did you do this?” She whispered hoarsely, her voice breaking. He looked her in the eyes this time.

“I’m so angry Katara. At myself. I couldn’t… I couldn’t stand to look at it any longer. Any of it.” He dragged his eyes around the room, the tacks that held up his prized works now bare against the bright yellow walls.

“I got so ahead of myself, like  _ the fuck-up I am _ !” He cursed, balling paper up in his fists and throwing it. “I should have gone after him. I should have gone after him. I should have fixed this.” Katara grabbed him by the shoulders shaking him out of his rambling trance.

“Sokka look at me! Please!” But simply couldn’t, his outraged expression slipping into a crestfallen frown as his shoulder hunched and he pressed his face into her hair again. Katara never finished her statement, instead she just held him, surrounded by his ravaged works, rocking back and forth steadily, as she felt her brother crumble in her arms.

She rubbed his back gently, eyes glancing around his room, but falling on a picture miraculously saved from Sokka’s rampage, the paper which had slipped off of his desk and evaded him from its half hidden position under his chair. She didn’t say anything as her eyes traced the familiar curve of the silhouetted face, oranges adorning the page in a brilliant sunrise against a gentle expression and an unmistakable scar across the eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you guys I'd get to the swing dancing, and this will not be the last of it I promise! Oh and Sokka pocketing his little list has not been forgotten, neither has the attempted kiss... stay tuned. And find me on Tumblr for more!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9xxeWRxSbA (This is a link to a swing dance video, just so you can picture it. Our boys weren't doing the elaborate stuff, but you'll get the idea. I own none of the songs mentioned.)
> 
> Thanks for reading. I really got the Aladdin vibes from this chapter, which I know that makes things cliche, but really I’m bored and this little hobby story is all I got. We get more of the gaang next chapter and the true angst is about to set in... happy ending though I promise! Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	9. When Summer Turns to Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world comes crashing down on Zuko... and Sokka is determined to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to another chapter! I really whipped this one up fast, but it’s not as long as the others, because well… you’ll see.
> 
> Our boi Zuko is about to disappear off the face of the earth and Sokka’s gonna lose his shit. But really, what’s new? I did say it was gonna get worse before it got better.
> 
> TW: Massive trigger warning this chapter!! Panic attacks, anxiety, child abuse (not graphic) and homophobia. This is defiantly the heaviest chapter, the most intense of them all, just a heads up, but it's going to get easier and a happy ending in sight?! This chapter is a long dark tunnel before you see the light.

**Chapter Nine- When Summer Turn to Winter**

Katara didn’t know how long she sat with her brother, it felt like hours, though not that she minded. But by the time the clock flashed ten Katara had managed to lead her brother to bed, and pull the blankets up his chin, where he was unresponsive. Everything about him was just… empty. 

“Sokka?” She whispered out his name, but he barely blinked, instead staring off towards the opposite side of the room, his features slack. Katara exhaled shakily, pulling his hair out of its messy ponytail.

“Sokka? If you need anything, please ask for Aang, okay? I’ll be back in a little bit.” He didn’t nod, didn’t even acknowledge her presence with a quick glance. And with that, she left the room, her shoulders hunching the second she closed the door, releasing the brave face she somehow managed to pull off before. She tip-toed down the hallway and emerged into the main room, where everyone sat, the silence thick as they all stared at her. It was an awkward exchange of concerned glances and clenched jaws, everyone far too afraid to speak up first.

“Katara, what happened?” Toph asked, taking one for the team, her half eaten cotton candy from the festival forgotten. Katara sighed, glancing back down the hallway before speaking.

“I-I’m not sure to be honest. He just-  _ broke _ . Please make sure he stays at the house and if he needs anything, just send in Aang, he doesn’t need everyone’s prying eyes on him.”

“And what about you Katara?” Suki asked, fidgeting with her hands in her lap, worried gaze casted downward. 

“I need to go… think.” She huffed out, running an exhausted hand through her hair. She excused herself from the room, leaving them with no more information and found refuge in the cool night air as she left the house. She was already deep into replaying the scene of Sokka sitting among his destruction by the time she reached the end of the driveway.

“Katara.” A voice ripped her from her thoughts and she turned around to meet Aang’s gentle grey eyes.

“Aang, I really need to be alone right now.” He reached forward and interlaced their fingers, nodding softly. His gaze seemed far more concerned with her apprehensive expression then Sokka at the moment.

“I know. I- here.” He placed a phone in her hand. “I’m pretty sure it’s Zuko’s. I found it in the living room. It’s just in case you see him or his sister.” She took it from him with a nod of her head, turning to leave. But Aang continued to follow.

“Aang.” She pressed.

“I know, I know, just… I love you okay?” The faintest outline of a smile traced her lips as she leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

“I love you too. Look after him?” Aang nodded again.

“What happened?” He asked, voice scarcely a whisper. Katara gulped.

“We came home and when I went in to check on him… he was just on the ground, all his artworks torn to shreds.” Aang’s eyes widened.

“He did it himself. And he was just… it was like he was grieving Yue all over again, but all he could talk about was  _ him _ , which I’m assuming means Zuko. I don’t know what happened, he wouldn’t talk about it outside of repeating that it was all his fault. Don’t ask him any questions, I don’t want to upset him anymore, but I really need to clear my head.” Aang gave her hand a light squeeze and pressed their foreheads together.

“Sure thing. I’ll wait for you to come home before I go to bed.” And with that, he turned and left, the warmth of his hand leaving hers as he disappeared back into the house. 

**〜⛭〜**

The boardwalk town was quiet this time of night. Nobody walked up and down the streets except for some nightly dog walkers, or a couple here and there coming back from an evening swim, holding each other close as they strolled. But the boardwalk was lit up, the old fashioned street lamps illuminating the brick streets and dark store windows, reflecting an array of colors and sparkles off of the precious jewels being shown off at the boutiques. It should have been comforting, the way the Hibiscus nectar hung in the air, mixing with the light scent of salt from the ocean, the flat horizon visible from the street Katara walked down.

She could see why people wanted to live here. It really was beautiful. And it was her, who had given her friends the opportunity to spend their summer on the isolated island, this supposed paradise.

But for some reason, she blamed herself for all that happened.

If she hadn’t won that surf competition, Sokka wouldn’t have destroyed a piece of himself. But then she thought about Zuko. She didn’t trust him, at least not yet. She was always very heedful about meeting other people, overly cautious and Zuko wasn’t an exception. But there was something gnawing at this natural skepticism, and that something was the way Sokka’s eyes lit up when he talked about the other boy. Sokka talked about him like he talked about his paintings, like he was  _ painting  _ a picture with his words. She hadn’t seen that since…

Sokka had been through a lot in his life. Katara had too, all their friends had trauma, had stories, but there was something about Sokka’s story that broke her heart the most.

It seemed everyone Sokka loved was taken from him. First their mother, and while Katara grieved harder than the rest of them, at least on the surface, she had stepped up as the role of mom. She never had a real childhood, but neither had Sokka. While Katara was younger, she wanted to provide Sokka the chance to grow up, but he never took it. He instead took care of her, soothing the fevers, teaching her the street skills needed to survive, hell, he had even taught her how to use a pad when she first got her period. Granted, he spent over an hour in the feminine hygiene product aisle at the store, picking up every single brand and colored packaging and spent even longer trying to figure out how the hell it was supposed to work, but he had figured it out, and he had calmed Katara’s nervous tears and made her chocolate milkshakes. That was what her mom was supposed to do… even their dad should have stepped in to help, but no. It was always Sokka.

Second was their father, the man who was forced to go to war, leaving his children behind with their gran gran. Katara was not on their last video call, but Sokka was. They had gotten into a fight, Sokka claiming he would rather be poor and have his dad home, then have his dad so far. Katara guessed it escalated, and Sokka refused to talk to his dad again. They had been impossibly close once, and in a sense Hakoda had been taken from him too. Sokka didn’t speak for weeks after that. It was a silent kind of hurt. And Katara could do nothing but curl her brother up in blankets and watch  _ That 70s Show _ in silence. Katara still talked to her father, but Sokka had given up on that. 

Third was Yue. Yue was the first person Sokka had ever loved. And not the kind of love he held for his parents or for Katara. Their love had been like a wildfire, but Yue was good for him. She was gentle and kind, while he was a hurricane, bustling with energy, head so high in the clouds, that Yue would have to pull him back down to earth.  _ The irony in that.  _ But after Yue, Sokka lost some of his rambunctious tendencies. He lost some of the light, and Katara noticed that on top of the way he had suddenly become so protective of her. It was like he was worried something would take her too.

It took a  _ lot  _ of reassurance that nothing was going to take his sister from him.

The riptide liked to challenge that. But Sokka wouldn’t let it happen. And he didn’t. But after they all recovered, Katara realized that Sokka hadn’t just been concerned about her. She supposed she should’ve felt jealous, but she wasn’t. Sokka had begun to open up, had begun to love someone else, just in a whole different way. Katara only hoped Zuko wasn’t taken from him too.

“Oof! Sorry!” Katara threw her hands up and backed away from the guy she bumped into, as he pulled off his hood, distress etched across his face. She had been so lost in thought that she walked right into another person. But as her eyes met his, she admittedly had to do a double take.

“Zuko?!” She whispered harshly, but her expression softened as she saw the panic in his eyes and frantic shake of his head.

“Katara! I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to run into you, I-”

“It’s okay, it was an accident.” She watched as he was already backing away, hands up in a surrender, ducking into the shadows of the empty street, twisting around to begin to run. “Zuko wait!” She reached out, but he already broke into a sprint. Katara chased after him, calling out, but was only replied with a harsh darkness that swarmed them in the park area Zuko had led them to. The trees created a secluded canopy, leaves tossing in the warm breeze allowing for only slotted windows of the stars twinkling faintly above.

“Zuko wait! Please.” He slowed, turning to face her, mouth agape. She came closer, trying to catch her breath.

“I have your phone.” He squinted in confusion. 

“You left it, and I brought it just in case I happened upon you or your sister. But I’m glad I found you. We need to talk.” 

  
  


**〜⛭〜**

_ Deep brown eyes flashed before him, narrow with determination, and shiny with ardor. His breath hitched, and maybe it was the confinements of the kitchen pantry that had less room to maneuver making their bodies press tightly together, or maybe it was simply the thrill getting caught up in his esophagus. _

_ But he stared at those rich eyes, and before he knew it, his own eyes were closed and a rough pair of lips smashed into his. _

_ And it was exhilarating. Like fireworks going off. Maybe that was because he was being truthful to himself, letting his consciousness go, or maybe it was simply the fast paceness of it all. He didn’t care, because in the darkness of the pantry, hot breaths tangling together, he could smile. _

_ There was only a sliver of light that leaked from underneath the door, enough to see the shadows of each other’s features, but their eyes were closed most of the time anyway, sucking the breath from each other’s lungs, hands roaming, and minds racing. They only broke to catch a lightheaded gaze at each other before diving back in, hands traveling from shoulders, to biceps, to back and hips. And it was easy to fall down that rabbit hole. _

_ Zuko was happy. Perhaps for one of the first times. _

_ But the strip light underneath the pantry door was suddenly cut off by two dark shoes, and Zuko slipped into the shadows. _

  
  


**〜⛭〜**

“What happened? With you and Sokka?” Katara asked, sitting down on the park bench, Zuko gingerly taking a seat next to her, forehead pinched in anger. He didn’t dare face her, instead letting himself fixate on palm trees swaying, slotted leaves filtering out the stars and leaving nothing but an empty sky. He stared at the vast nothingness, hoping to catch a glimpse of something. A beacon of light, maybe? He brought his gaze down to the trunk of the trees knowing there would be no light above. He inhaled a shuddering breath, the feeling intoxicating, like inhaling smoke or maybe sea water. He imagined the sensations were similar.

He didn’t want to talk. Especially about this. He wanted to run, to get so far away from everything. To sail off the edge of the world. But that running had gotten him into this mess, like the  _ fuck-up  _ he believed he was. So, with another shaky breath, like the earth trembling beneath his feet, he spoke.

“Last night, he was really drunk. I wasn’t so much… he tried to kiss me. But I moved before he could.” He wrapped his nimble fingers around the edge slab of wood that made up the bench and dug his nails into the creases. Katara was silent for a moment, thinking about the party the night before. How Katara dared to ask if Zuko had taken advantage of her brother. Her cheeks suddenly flushed red with embarrassment. 

“...Thank you, for not taking advantage of him.” He could feel her eyes on him, not as harsh as they were before and he couldn’t decide if he liked it that way or not. On the one hand, her cold glares were menacing, making him shrink back, but at least they lacked the sympathy her eyes held now, the sympathy he hated so much. He squeezed his eyelids shut, trying to blockade the rest of the world from penetrating his brain, like a disease taking hold of its host. His anxiety festered, rising up inside of him like a thick stirring of his stomach contents and pounding of his skull.

“You don’t understand Katara. I wanted-” He cut himself off.  _ No _ .  _ Wrong _ . He did want, but he did his very best to convince himself otherwise. “I didn’t kiss him because he was drunk, I didn’t kiss him because-” He happened to glance up at Katara’s gentle smile as it shifted into an uncomfortable frown, taking the place of Sokka’s pain while he wasn’t present.

“...You’re not-” She felt her heart break for Sokka, for a love he had that would be unrequited. But as Zuko shook his head, his glassy stare becoming distant once again, her head tilted in confusion.

“No, I… am.” Katara opened her mouth to say something, but found that she didn’t have the words. He sucked in his breath, his voice quivering. He paused for a while, debating whether or not he should say it, but he had already ruined so much, what was a little more added to that list? 

“I’m gay.” He hissed, as if it was something poisonous, something so forbidden just the sound of it could be punishable by death. Tears slid down his cheeks at the statement, but just as the sudden flood of emotions washed over him, panic fully took over again and overwhelmed his senses as he was sent into a frenzy, nearly causing him to fly off the bench.

“I-I I’m sorry! Please, I’m so sorry! Please don’t tell anyone, I’m-” He waved his hands in the air, vigorously shaking his head, but Katara grabbed his wrists in an attempt to steady him, which in turn, only made him flinch away instinctively going up to cover his face. Flabbergasted by the exchange, she pulled away, sighing softly.

“Zuko, it’s okay. I won’t say a thing and you don’t have to apologize, it’s who you are.” His eyes widened as he held back tears.

“I-I’m  _ wrong.  _ An abomination.” He mumbled so lightly, Katara had to lean in to hear him. 

“No, no Zuko, you’re not.” She rested a hand over his -slowly this time-, and noticed the slight flinch in surprise. 

“And I… did this to Sokka.”

“Did what, Zuko?” It suddenly dawned on her. “You think… you think you made Sokka…” She trailed off watching as Zuko buried his head in his hands, hair tangling in his fingers.

“Zuko, you didn’t do anything. That’s not how that works. Sokka has always been…” She hesitated, not sure if it was her place to say. Sokka was going to be whoever he wanted, and Katara didn’t care who that was, but one thing was for certain; she wasn’t going to assume anything. One thing was clear though: Sokka loved Zuko. She had not seen the dancing candles in his eyes since he met Yue, and the spark there was something she had so missed. “Sokka’s always been Bi or however he chooses to label it. I don’t know how far along he is with really discovering that, but you did nothing wrong.  _ You  _ are  _ not  _ wrong.” He shook his head, as if in disagreement, bottom lip trembling. She sighed.

“Do you think Sokka is wrong?” This made Zuko’s head snap up.

“Of course not! He’s-”

“Then why do you think  _ you’re wrong _ ?” The question riddled his whole body with the sudden doubt of his own judgement, his own choices, and his own past.

“I-I-I’m nothing. I’m-” A sob wracked his body. His hand was shaking beneath hers, and he noticed her’s was shaking too. She was an emotional sponge in nature, and after dealing with Sokka’s breakdown and now trying to convince a broken boy that he was indeed, perfectly okay for this world, it was going to take a toll. 

“That’s not what Sokka sees.” Katara stated simply, letting go to pull a folded artwork from her bag. The piece had been carefully removed from Sokka’s room to ensure he didn’t destroy this one too. She unfolded it, smoothed out the creases, and placed it in Zuko’s trembling hands.

His eyes adjusted to the colors blended together, in what looked like a Monet made out of entirely colored pencils. The background was sort of abstract but already created a brilliant sunset, flecks of gold rimming each ray and illuminating the edges of the silhouette. Upon further inspection, Zuko realized the figure in the picture was him. His jawline was sharp, skin pale against the brilliant orange and reds that bled into a gentle yellow and purple blend of the sunrise, and his scar. His fingers graced over that part of the picture, not quite as ugly as Zuko perceived it to be. Sokka made the edges not so sharp and rough, instead letting it shape his face with his bad eye appearing to crinkle with the smile Sokka had drawn on him. It wasn’t so much a mark of shame as much as it was a trademark of his story, the sunrise behind him signifying the story still left to write.

“S-sokka did this?” Katara nodded, swallowing back the lump in his throat.

“He’s really torn up… so what happened?” She raised an eyebrow, watching Zuko’s pupils focus on the drawing, no longer flicking around worriedly. 

“It’s all my fault. I ruined-” He choked out, but Katara cut him off with a slightly frustrated groan.

“That’s what he’s saying about himself! But neither of you are telling me what’s going on.. I want to understand so that I can help… or respectively kick someone's ass.” A long pause drifted through the air.

“He asked me… about my scar. And I ran.”

“Oh.”

“I should have told him. But I just-”

“It’s okay, Zuko. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay! Every time I look at him, I just freeze. It’s just... the last time I looked at another boy. The last time I wanted to kiss one…” His hand went up and he touched the edges of his scar wincing under the touch, hating the feel of the rough, corrupted skin. A mark of his shame. He stared down at the picture and how Sokka didn’t see it as a mark of shame.  _ But he didn’t know the truth _ , Zuko thought to himself.

His voice trembled as he continued. Katara was not expecting him to do so, and her heartbeat sped up as he replied. His broken tone was coated in helplessness and grief-stricken at the word, each letter exploding in the stale air. 

“His name was Jet.” Zuko hadn’t said his name in years. It felt strange to let it roll off his tongue.

“He was... handsome and kind and protective. I just felt at ease around him, even if I didn’t know why. We spent all our free time together, and then one day, he… h-h-he kissed me. And I fell so hard after that.” A tear slid down his cheek and off the edge of his chin, landing in a crack in the pavement, invisible to everyone who would pass by the spot during the day. “We’d kiss when no one was watching, make-out in empty hallways of the house or janitor's closet at school. I liked him. I  _ really  _ liked him.  _ And it was wrong. I know that. _ And maybe we just got too comfortable, too risky with our excitement of this new thing, because… my father caught us.” Zuko blankly gazed at the ground. Just when Katara didn’t think her heart could break anymore, it shattered.

“I should have been more careful. I should have protected him, but my father was so angry, I had disappointed him, dishonored the family. He raised his fist at me… Jet jumped in front.” His expression contorted in anguish.

“I was the target, but Jet took the pain. I don’t even remember screaming, I just remember… shock. But my father pushed him to the side and… I don’t really remember the next part, I think my brain blockaded the memory, but I can still feel the bubbling of skin, the heat… the way  _ he  _ looked black and blue on the floor. And when he got up, I told him to  _ run _ . He did. I never saw him again.” His voice broke, as Katara tried to conceal her startled gasp, but failed to keep the toll of the information being given to her from hitting her like a tsunami. They were silent for a moment, and for a brief second, Zuko thought that maybe she hated him; Had come to her senses about  _ what  _ he was and would scream and yell at him, telling him to stay back in the shadows where he belonged. Instead, she looked up at him, blue eyes so light, they were almost silver in the dark.

“Can I hug you Zuko?” Zuko let out a sob in relief, shoulders collapsing and his head went back into his hands as his whole body shook, leaning instinctively into Katara’s embrace. He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes, trying to keep the tears dialed back, but Katara hummed softly and he simply let the dams fall. Her hug wasn’t dissimilar to Sokka’s except Sokka held a different type of embrace, one not only as an attempt to shelter him, but also one that poured all his energy and love into the touch. Katara’s hold was simply warmth,  _ comfort _ , like a mom holding their child.

He felt her own tears fall against the top of his head, in a silent type of crying that gave him some relief.  _ He wasn’t alone.  _

“Do you want to come home with me? No one will ask any questions, nobody will care who you are, and Sokka would be ecstatic to see you okay.” Zuko didn’t move, but he sniffled and spoke.

“No. No, I can’t. I won’t burden anyone else.” 

“Zuko sweetie, you aren’t burdening anyone.”

“Yes. Yes, I’m still… I’m a giant fuck-up... And I can’t leave my sister.”

“Azula?” Katara piped up, surprised by the remark.

“She’s not well. She’s slipping, I know it, and I want to be there for her. I can’t leave her.” Katara sighed and let go of him finally.

“Okay.” She whispered back without argument. They stayed on the bench for a few more minutes, before Katara pulled him to his feet. “Wipe your tears and stand tall, Zuko. You are so strong.” Katara reached out and wiped his tears away for him and held his shaking hands, allowing them to steady. “Please know that you can come stay with us. You can escape. But for now, I won’t tell anyone about this, okay? Not even Sokka, if that’s what you wish. But do know that he cares about you. He really does, and you make him happy.” Zuko didn’t  _ feel  _ strong, and the intensity of Katara’s words almost made him crumble again, but she held a firm and warm smile, her eyes gleaming with worry, although a noticeably different worry from Sokka.

Her worry reflected his mother’s, which was startling, but not discomforting. Sokka’s worry held something else entirely. Something that Zuko didn’t know how to place.

“I wish I could let him make me happy.” Zuko choked out. Katara gulped for air, tears stinging her eyes again.

“I know.”

  
**〜⛭〜**

When Katara got home that night, just after one, Aang had kept his promise, sitting by the fireplace, feet tucked beneath him as he was deep in meditation. His eyes had opened when he heard the door shut quietly and he smiled upon seeing Katara. He watched her curiously as she sat down her bag and slipped off her shoes, visibly exhausted.

“Hey you.” He whispered happily, trying not to wake the others who had gone to bed. He took one look at her expression, and bounced up from his spot, enveloping her in a tight embrace. “Katara? What’s wrong?” 

Katara never answered his question as she dragged him to her room and the two curled up in bed under a mountain of blankets and he held her as she cried herself to sleep.

**〜⛭〜**

When Zuko got home that night, he tried to sneak off to his bedroom. He really did. But of course, Azula was waiting for him, her smile wicked, although her eyes were glazed over with exhaustion and fear. Ozai was waiting for him too, his journals laid out before them on the counter, like a predator proudly showing off its captured prey. 

There would be no iron wolf to protect him.

  
  
  


**〜⛭〜**

**FOUR WEEKS LATER**

Four weeks.

It had been four weeks.

Four fucking weeks and nothing.

Summer was drawing to an end and the world might as well have ended with it. Texts and phone calls were responded with  _ This number no longer exists _ . The house still sat atop its hill, like a forbidden castle looming over him, a shadow of which he could not cross. But his chest was hollow, everything felt empty with the exception of the constant contortion of his stomach, knots coiling up his guts with guilt and regret, a hideous feeling he couldn’t get rid of. 

Sokka holed himself up in his room the majority of the time, letting himself fall into the rabbit hole of his deadly imagination, staring at his now empty walls, the ghosts of his broken art calling out to him, but he ignored their call. He spent his time sleeping mostly, especially after the exhausting relapse of the first two weeks of frantic searching. Even Katara had helped search the pier, the boardwalks, all the beaches for some sign of the golden eyes that were now hidden by the endless night that ripped Sokka to shreds. 

He had even gone to the police, but they did nothing. Nothing.

Sokka was utterly useless.

So he resorted to internalizing his pain, hiding in the false sense of security that had become his bedroom, ignoring the world that was spinning too fast for his achy head, and clutching the list in his hands.

_ The list. _

The list Sokka hated with every fiber of his being, but couldn’t seem to let go of. He had memorized each bullet point, could perfectly recite the now crumpled page with the smudged writing piece that Sokka now understood. The serpents had gotten to him too, now that he didn’t have the moon to protect him. He was empty inside despite the flaring of his nerves and the devastation and guilt intensifying as the clock ticked mockingly in front of him. _ Four weeks had passed.  _

Toph had asked him to see if he wanted to steal some booze. Suki asked if he wanted to play some volleyball. Aang asked him if he wanted a hug. He said no to everything.

He stared at the piece of paper again, which might as well have been the last remnants of Zuko, now that he had disappeared off the face of the earth and Sokka assumed it was because he had ruined everything. Sokka had invaded his strict boundaries, set tall like the mountain side. Sokka had made him uncomfortable, had pushed him to talk and now his best friend wouldn’t even talk to him.

And the worst part? Sokka thought he deserved it. He had convinced himself of it, at least he thought he knew the reason Zuko no longer appeared to exist. It was never the reason he expected though.

He stared at the pages, the letters floating off the pages making him feel nauseous, and all at once the internal fears, and guilt crippling him, erupted into a wildfire. A sudden wave of emotion boiled over the surface and he sat in his desk chair, staring at his shaky hands.

Anger was the first emotion that washed over him, causing him to hit the table with his fists until he could feel something,  _ anything _ . He cursed and shouted and sent scowls up at the dark skies and light clouds that filled the atmosphere outside the window, ready for another rain storm. He inhaled shakily the tinted sunburn on his nose scrunching up as he snarled at himself. He was so angry, so full of rage, at everything. The world, the people around him, himself. He didn't have a targeted hatred, it just seemed to reach every corner of the universe in that moment. Most of all, he came to terms with, he hated the circumstances that lead him to this moment as he sat stupidly broken in his room, so full of this rage, fear, and most of all, a tinge of hope that he still clung to even when he couldn’t see what light gazed down at him as he sat alone in the shadows. He wanted to burn that hope to the ground for all that it had done to him. Hope had  _ lied  _ to him.

Guilt was the second thing that flooded him. The numbness he felt inside dissipated as the gut-wrenching feeling overcame him and suddenly he longed to see Zuko so bad that tears filled his eyes. He whispered “sorry” over and over as his brain pounded against his skull relentlessly. His lips fell into a crestfallen frown, shaking his head. He had done it again. He had so horribly screwed up and left Zuko with the same shackling fear that he tried so hard to rid of. And it was his fault that the fear stayed behind those golden eyes and festered like a virus. He wanted to apologize, wanted to take back every word and every action he took. He wanted to take back talking to him at all the first night they really met. He wanted to take back the last month and a half and he so wished in that moment, that he had just let himself drown that day with the riptide. Yue would have called him dramatic for that statement, and maybe it was true. But he had ruined everything. He had hurt Zuko, and it tore him up inside.. Yet his head had been filled with such selfish thoughts, that he let himself drown in those sunrise irises.

“Hey Sokka?” A voice called out, but it didn’t bring him back to reality. “Do you want to come surfing with me? Get your mind off… everything.” He shook his head, refusing to turn his head and meet Katara’s worried frown. “Sokka, I know you’re upset. But this isn’t doing you any good.”

“Well I’m not doing Zuko any good!” He whipped around and suddenly screamed, the anger flushing up his cheeks in a feverish red. Katara rested her towel on the bed as she approached him with caution.

“Sokka, we went to the police. If something felt off, they would have done something. I-I don’t know what happened.” 

“You’re lying.” Another voice suddenly filled the room, smaller than the usual boisterous, booming tone they all knew and loved. The siblings sent Toph the same disoriented expression and a wordless “what?”

“You don’t know what happened, maybe, but you know something.” Toph pointed a finger at Katara who jumped back in response. Sokka simply looked down at his sister, who suddenly seemed much smaller than before. He should have had no reason to believe Toph, except for the little known fact that Toph had never once been wrong about a person lying.

“Katara? Is… is there something?” His voice was meek, cracking slightly as anxious energy boiled in the pit of his stomach. He clutched the crumpled list in his hands, feeling the sting of the light papercut it gave him. She let out a heavy sigh and collapsed on the edge of the bed, gripping the bedding until her knuckles turned white.

“Y-you. You know something. What? Why didn’t you tell me?!” Sokka wanted to scream at her, wanted to be angry, but he was so overcome by exhaustion and fear tearing away at his insides, that he didn’t pull away when Katara took his hand and guided him to take a seat next to her.

“That night with the paintings? I went for a walk to clear my head… I ran into Zuko.”

“W-what?”

“I promised him I wouldn’t say a thing.” She choked down a sob. “But I’m scared for him and I’m scared for you. So… We talked. He told me the truth. He told me everything and he blames himself. He thinks he ruined everything.” She looked up but she couldn’t bear to look Sokka in the eyes.

“He told me about the scar.”

**〜⛭〜**

_ There was so much light filling the chilly evening, yet it wasn’t comforting in the least bit. _

_ His world melted away and standing before him was a fox. The fox was morphed and contorted, hissing and licking the walls of the building, swarming it in a heat very different from the comforting warmth of his winter coat. The first thing he clearly remembered was the foxes sadistic smile, “fool” it sneered, hissing and growling at the pair who tried to reach through the veil of what could have been a beautiful sunset. Wood trembled in fear of the foxes wrath, contorting itself inward as if cowering. The foundation of the building creaked out in its pain, the hammering pops like bullets trying to take down a fox too swift and fierce to be tamed. _

_ “Yue! No! We have to stay here!” _

_ “No! I have to help! Go!” It was a word that was swallowed by the foxes laugh and a sharp pain rippled through him. Later, he couldn’t recall if it was a physical pain or just the cruel betrayal of the fox. A crease in the wall screeched in the searing heat, collapsed inward and created a portal, just big enough for her to slide through. She let go of his hand, the warmth of her skin against his leaving the bitter chill of the winter night to allow frostbite to send in. She ran into the light while he stumbled back into the darkness _

_ Shattered glass crunched with the snow beneath his feet, like millions of fragments reflecting the blaze. If there was a scream, it couldn’t be heard over the ringing piercing his head like needles, a chortle from the mirage of evil, a light that mockingly tore the ever-peace of the dark. Sokka watched, frozen in the moment that moved too fast as he watched the fox engulf the world. The foxes eyes flashed as black as the unforgiving new moon, reaching out to him, trying to convince him of its trust.  _

_ There were sirens, but he couldn’t hear them. Snow fell but he couldn’t see it. All he saw was the light of the foxes many tails, a flame too powerful for his small figure, a flame all too deadly against those beautiful blue eyes and silky silver hair that was lost that night. _

_ Everything fell silent as Sokka’s head hit the pavement and his world went dark _ .

  
  


**〜⛭〜**

  
  


“...Is this… Is this why Zuko disappeared?” Sokka’s gasp got stuck in his throat by the way Katara’s eyes darkened and tried to stifle the hesitant nod that Sokka barely caught on his own.

“Maybe. B-but I don’t know.”

“This… This is my-” Sokka clapped hand over his mouth to hold back the trembling cry rising up his throat. 

“Don’t you dare say that, Sokka! It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Yeah Sokka, If it's anyone’s fault, it’s his father’s.” Toph reinforced, giving his shoulder a tight squeeze. Katara pressed her cheek against his other shoulder, trying to give him a little comfort in which she ultimately could not provide.

To say that Sokka was angry was understatement. His blood  _ boiled _ . But to say that Sokka was also scared out of his mind, sounded just about right. But no words came to him. He couldn’t find it in him to nod or say things will be okay, or give some snide remark. The hollow space inside him took all his energy and focus as it filled with his white-hot rage and crippling fear. The one thing that was unclear was how Zuko’s father found out… he had been on business trips the majority of the time, and the most interaction between them that held the absolute truth had been when Ozai was on a business trip during the party… Sokka’s eyes widened. 

He knew who it was. He knew who had destroyed Zuko.

Sokka did manage to fold up the list repeating the worst of the lies Zuko believed in his head until it was embedded into his brain, and Sokka was determined not to fail him. 

_ -I hurt Sokka _

_ Sokka  _ had hurt him. But no more of that was going to happen, Sokka promised himself that. He stood finally pulling away from Katara and Toph his intense glare at the door burning a hole straight through it.

“I’m not angry with you Katara.” Sokka said, an in unusually calm voice. He was waiting for the right moment for his explosion, on the right  _ person _ . But he also didn’t want his stoic expression to be misinterpreted. He wasn’t angry at Katara. Katara had kept a promise just like he would have done. She nodded, but bit her lip.

“Come on Toph.” Toph raised her head.

“Where are we going?” She slid off the edge of the bed, and walked up to Sokka’s side.

“There’s someone I need to find.”

**〜⛭〜**

Most of the day was spent patrolling the boardwalk, surveying the private beaches, and wandering the shops, seamlessly putting on an innocent persona. In retrospect, bringing his  _ blind  _ best friend probably wasn’t the most logically planned out when  _ looking  _ for someone. But then again, Toph  _ heard  _ everything. One voice could be pulled out of a crowd in an instant, and where his eyes couldn’t help him, he relied on Toph’s hearing.

“Ugh! We’ve been at this for  _ hours _ , Sokka! It’s dinner time and I’m starving.”

“Just a little longer, I have to see if I can find them!”

“Sokka seriously, call it a night. We can go out looking tomorrow, although I’m still unclear as to why you don’t go to Zuko’s house.”

“Because Toph,” Sokka hissed out. “That’ll get Zuko into more trouble. I won’t risk that. And anyway-”

“Shut up Sokka.”

“Hey! You asked!” Toph slapped a hand over his mouth.

“ _Shut_ _up_ , dipshit.” Toph craned her neck, leaning in to the patronizing laugh, filled with an unmistakable venom. “Over there!” Toph pointed towards the brick wall of the boutique across the street as a girl headed that direction, hanging up on the person she had been talking to on the phone. Up ahead was the back alley, dark and secluded and if he traveled around it, a small courtyard would allow for the perfect spot.

“I’m going in.” Sokka launched himself off the street bench he had slumped down on and hurried across the street, ignoring the traffic and honking car as he crossed, his one track mind focusing on the girl with the shopping back and perfect, straight black hair. When his feet hit the sidewalk, he stalked towards her, snagged her wrist and pulled her behind the brick wall. She gasped in surprise, but he already had both hands on her shoulders.

“Where’s Zuko?!” Sokka cursed, slamming Azula against the wall. The surprise faded quickly as she caught a glimpse of who was in front of her. She smirked, but Sokka caught the brief flash of something in her eye. And when he squinted he realized the familiarity of it. It was the same crippling fear reflected in Zuko’s eye, when someone moved too fast near him. Sokka didn’t release his grip, but his expression softened.

“What did you do to him?” He spat, pressing the heel of his palm deeper into her shoulder making a brief glare cross her expression, before returning to that cynical smile. She leaned in, and even if she was the one pinned, she was intimidating, holding a stare so full of hate, so icy cold it made Sokka’s skin crawl. She dropped her shopping bag, and lifted her hand towards his face, but Toph appeared at his side, slapping it away. 

“Hmm, you really do have eyes like the ocean. It’s funny really. Zuko should stay away from the water. Bad things always happen to him when he gets too close.” Her head smacked back into the wall by the force of Sokka’s shove, his lips curled into a sneer, venom pulsing through his blood as hatred corrupted his ocean-eyes into the black seas, treacherous and merciless against the lonely ships that passed before him. 

“I’m only gonna ask this one more time. Where. Is. He?” His nose was so close to hers that she could feel his hot breath on her face, making her eyes narrow.

“Universes away, really. At least in his head. Not that he’ll be able to write about it in those pathetic stories of his. Really, it was a bore, reading them.” She rolled her eyes at the way tears poured down Sokka’s face, white hot with rage, and his jaw clenched so tight, she could hear his teeth grinding. 

“But nothing evades me. I can see you asking yourself the same question over and over in your little mourning.” She smiled. “ _ How?  _ How did I know? Despite the obvious goo-goo eyes, little Zuzu likes to write his feelings into metaphors that are so easily deciphered. That and it always helps to give a little  _ push _ .” She emphasized the word and watched in amusement as Sokka began to piece things together.

“What do you mean?”

“Well surely, you’d understand that I wouldn’t invite  _ your people  _ to a party as esteemed as mine. Unless of course,” She paused, a mockingly thoughtful expression crossing her face. “I had reason. And well,  _ you _ did the rest of the work.” 

“No.” It was all Sokka managed to choke out. Her grin confirmed everything. She had seen Sokka almost kiss him. She had seen it all. “Toph, get her phone.” Azula resented, but Toph easily snatched her purse and dug around until she found it. Sokka released one of his hands to shine the phone’s screen on Azula’s face, unlocking with her reflection. Sokka glanced down at the phone, clicking on the photo’s app and there it was. The proof.

It was a picture of Sokka, eyelids fluttering drunkenly, hand on Zuko’s knee as he leaned forward.

“How did you know?! How did you know!?” He spat causing Azula to growl and raise her chin in the air.

“I have soldiers, you know.”

_ “Sorry.” Zuko said, tossing his phone to the side. “Mai was wondering where I went.”  _

“What did you do to him!” Sokka demanded, throwing her phone against the brick wall, watching it shatter. His now empty hand went back to hold her back as she snarled.

“Nothing! I just did what had to be done! Anything that followed wasn’t me.”  _ Zuko’s dad.  _

“Come on Toph. Let’s go.” Sokka gave Azula one last shove, leaving her breathing heavily against the alleyway wall and turned.

“Toph?  Hmm, a pitiful excuse for a Beifong.” She snarked at Toph, who held a glare so deep it was like looking into the vengeful spirits that prepared for war in her ghostly eyes. 

“Pitiful my ass, bitch.” Toph snarled, mere seconds before her fist collided with Azula’s jaw. 

**〜⛭〜**

“Sokka? Where are you going?” Sokka stopped dead in his tracks, suddenly embarrassed by the black clothes adorning his body. He looked like a thief, and if Katara  _ hadn’t  _ recognized him… He shuddered at the thought of the world of pain that would be in store. But she had recognized him, had heard his quiet footsteps as he tried to escape the house. He turned slowly to face her, her pajama shorts and tank hidden by the long fuzzy bathrobe that looked more like a skinned polar bear than a robe. She crossed her arms stubbornly and watched him carefully, taking in his black track pants and black Buzzfeed Unsolved sweatshirt (from his ghost hunting loving days), meant to camouflage him in the night. He sighed heavily and closed the door.

“I’m getting him back.” He stated firmly, not willing to argue on the matter. His sister’s face contorted with fear and skepticism. 

“Did you even think this out? Sokka you could get into trouble, or worse, you could get  _ him  _ into trouble.” She stomped towards him, eyebrows furrowed as she threw her hands up in the air, completely exasperated. She went out to grab his wrist but he tore away from her.

“You don’t think I know that Katara?! I’ve thought it through. I got a plan.” He balled up his fist in determination and pursed his lips with the rage that fueled him. He had yet to tell her about his encounter with Azula, confirming all the information he needed. This was his fault and he was going to fix it. Katara’s expression softened as she realized there was nothing she could do to stop him.

“Do you want my help?” He shook his head.

“No. Just don’t tell the others.” She bit her lip and nodded, folding the robe around herself. Sokka sent her a silent “thank you,” and headed for the door again, slipping past the storm screen, letting the night hide him as he began his descend to the mansion atop the hill.

“Okay. Be careful…. And Sokka?” He turned around one last time.

“What?”

“Bring him home.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending is cliche I know, don’t yell at me!!! But that’s the chapter! Not as long as my other ones, but that’s because it's so dialogue heavy, there’s only so much I can do. Writing this chapter was absolutely soul crushing especially with Katara and Zuko that shit hurt. Buuuuut, all good things to come in the future. 
> 
> Oh and Toph punching Azula? Strangely therapeutic. More to come on Azula soon.
> 
> Also Katara adopted Zuko and no one can tell me otherwise. Once she understood him and skeptical feelings died away and I love Katara, can you tell? She’s the mom of the group and she would totally adopt Zuko.
> 
> And on the topic of Jet. I see a lot of stories where Jet's the "bad guy," I don't have anything against that, I just wanted to paint a slightly different light on his character in here.
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you again for reading!!!! It makes me so happy to see that people enjoy this!!! If you have questions or ideas don’t hesitate to ask, but you can also find me on tumblr ( https://daisythedoodledog.tumblr.com/ ) if you just want to scream with me about Zukka I’m always down for that! Also, I try my best to portray everything, but if you ever feel I missed something or did something wrong, please, please let me know! Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


	10. Rain Falls for those Who Need it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka's determined to get Zuko back... a lot happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi people!!!!
> 
> Just so you all know, I was listening to We Are Bulletproof by BTS the entire time, so I’m in a very emotional state…
> 
> Welcome back to another chapter. I just want to say before I get into anything else that the quality lowkey decreases because I had half the chapter already written and then I wrote the second half and then it DELETED and I lost it and so rewriting it was a whole pain in the ass, so my apologies.
> 
> But this is the chapter we have all been waiting for!
> 
> Trigger Warning: Child abuse (mentioned) and descriptions of wounds. Anxiety and internalized homophobia too.

**Chapter Ten- Rain Falls for those Who Need it**   
  


Sokka peered at the house from his uncomfortable viewing spot in the hedge, sticks poking at his face and thick leaves itching at the fabric of his pants. He crouched low to the ground, staring at the dim light of the back kitchen steps as the last of the servants went home for the night, careful to lock the door behind them. Sokka surveyed the area, the one weak point of the house. The only security camera here was the one over the lamp post that would only capture the small private drive from where Sokka hid to the edge of the wooden steps. The camera’s head would rotate every few seconds, swinging back and forth to catch a whole view of the area. If Sokka continued along the hedge and timed it just right, he could make it to the stairs without getting caught.

He had to be at least at a 45 degree angle from the camera and would have to move as it did in a perfect line across the blind spot. If he didn’t, his mission would be for nothing. 

His tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration, he held a steady grip on one of the many hedge’s branches. Watching the camera rotate its head back and forth, back and forth.

Until… The camera moved away from Sokka, and leaping into action, he sprinted across the blindspot of the camera until he reached the stairs, flying up them as fast as he could, until he knew he was out of view. He exhaled shakily, his nerves shot, and adrenaline kicking in. Regaining his composure, he pulled out one of Katara’s hair pins and began messing with the lock, listening intently to the way the mechanism clicked inside, listening to its inner workings until he found the perfect angle and _pop_. The door knob could now be twisted.

Now came the hard part. He peered into the back room of the kitchen and as expected, it was empty. Quietly, Sokka slipped inside, closing and locking the door behind him. He gulped, scanning the room and finding it to be exactly how it was the last time he had been there. He didn’t stay for long as he hurried along the hallway, peeking out of corridors for Azula or maybe even Zuko’s dad. If he happened upon Azula, he’d be dead, but if he happened upon Ozai, Sokka was pretty sure he was willing to commit murder right then and there. But the halls were empty and for such a vast house, he was surprised there weren’t more people filling the halls and grand rooms. It must’ve been incredibly lonely.

Eyeing the grand staircase in the main foyer, he immediately opted to go the back stairs, this one was too much in the open. He turned and hurried back down the hallway, making a loop past the dining room and private study until he found the little corridor with the back servant stairs. Sokka remembered Zuko telling him about the extra staircase, and Sokka figured it would be placed close enough for the servants to move from the kitchen to laundry room to the upstairs with ease, making this part of the house the most ideal location.

Sokka, observant as ever, had mentally plotted out the blueprints for the entire house, and he was glad he did it too. Although he never thought he’d have to actually _break in_.

Sokka dismissed the thought, carefully climbing the stairs, testing each step for creaky wood that would give him away, but made it to the top with only barely breaking a sweat. Glancing around the corner he calculated where he was in the house and realized Azula’s room was the next door to the right. He gulped, his eyes moving further down to the other side of the hallway, all the way at the opposite end, was Zuko’s room. There would be nowhere for him to hide, no getaway, and he’d have to be especially careful with Azula's room. He took a step into the hallway, but her door flew open, light piercing the hallway and forcing him to slam his back against the wall, hiding behind the curling butler staircase.

“I know Ty Lee. Those Kyoshi Warriors were pitiful. Shame their spirit didn’t burn with those uniforms. Well there’s always next year.” Sokka curled his fingers into fists, a snarl rising up his throat, one he had to choke down, as he craned his neck and glanced into the hallway, Azula’s form getting smaller and smaller before she disappeared into the main hallway, and her heels could be heard clicking against the marble stairs in the foyer.

Finally releasing his breath, though his rising anger had not subsided, he glanced back at the now empty hallway. With the coast clear, Sokka full on sprinted to the other end of the hall, skidding to a stop before Zuko’s door. There was no light emitting from the crack under the door, making Sokka’s breath hitch. What if he wasn’t here? What if Ozai had sent him away? The thought filled Sokka with such dissent that it made him nauseous. _What if he never saw Zuko again?_ His eyes narrowed, trying to strike down such a question, but it still managed to whisper in his ear on repeat like a broken record. Sokka reached out, going to turn the knob but stopped on the key shaped hole. It locked from the outside, which meant someone could get trapped in the room.

Something hideous flooded over him.

Gingerly turning the knob, cringing with the small cry it gave, he pushed open the door.

“Dad? Please, I-” Zuko looked up from the floor where he had been sitting, back pressed against the bed, hands already going up to blockade his face. He didn’t look up, at least not at first, but then there was stunned silence, one that took him by surprise, and when he did look up the silence was suspended into a shaky gasp.

“...Sokka?” Zuko breathed out, his voice so tiny, it was like the ocean whispering stories through a conch shell. Sokka wanted to cry out, whisper his name over and over and wrap him in his arms, but he was frozen in place.

Snapping out of it, he reached to close the door, but noting that it would lock, he pushed a book into the frame, keeping it open just a crack.

“Zuko. I’m getting you out. Come on.” Sokka tilted his head towards the door, but Zuko didn’t move from his spot.

“Sokka-” His voice was broken. _So broken._ Sokka cocked his head and opened his mouth and Zuko squeezed his eyes shut as if bracing for impact. This made Sokka almost yelp in surprise, Zuko staring up at him with such a glazed look of fear, Just like when Ozai would stare him down, spitting at his feet and gritting his teeth, hissing insults and belittling statements that chipped away at his humanity.

“I can’t.” Tears sprung to his eyes as he shrunk away. Sokka didn’t approach him, but stood his ground.

“You have to, please. This can’t continue on.” Zuko opened his mouth as if to say _I deserve it_ , a statement his brain screamed at him so often, it was engraved in his thoughts, rolling off his tongue with horrific ease. The tears in Sokka’s eyes were glassy and with the low light of the moon shining through the window, it broke his irises into a thousand tiny crystals, all reflecting Zuko’s complexion.

“I’m protecting _her_.” Sokka squinted at the statement, questioning the meaning behind it, but it dawned on him pretty quickly. Zuko was protecting his sister. Letting the fire be directed at him, to spare her, and Zuko actually thought he deserved it. Sokka’s nose wrinkled in disgust at the man Ozai was, the horrible man, who did this to his children.

“But who’s protecting you, Zuko?” He whispered back, holding back the tears suffocating his lungs. Zuko shuddered, shaking his head and chewing on his lower lip.

“You h-have to get out. Please Zuko. I’m here to get you out. You can escape with me.” _I’m protecting you_.

“Why?” It was a question that swallowed all the light from the world, and it could have destroyed Sokka on the spot, if it weren’t for his very stubborn nature.

“Zuko, please. I don’t have time, I came here risking everything for you, and we can discuss all of this later, but you _need_ to leave. He won’t hurt you anymore, I won’t let him.” Zuko’s eyes widened. _Sokka knew about the scar._ “Take my hand Zuko. Please.” Zuko stared up at his eyes, full of compassion and forgiveness and love, the crystal shards in his eyes crumbling into tiny fragments of stars, the ones not visible from Zuko’s bedroom window. If he left right now, with Sokka, he’d get away. No more pain… yeah right. If he went with Sokka he’d be proving his father right. He was wrong. But Sokka wasn’t wrong, everything about him had been right. And despite the brutal battle between his mind and heart, his thoughts often overshadowed everything else, every moment with Sokka had been right, despite the mistakes, the fights, the awkwardness. _  
_

_I wish I could let him make me happy._ But this was his chance… maybe. He looked up at Sokka’s expression, searching for some sense of direction, but all he saw was the pair of ocean eyes that told him the stories of the power of the sea and calm of the tide. They told him of the beautiful shells and reefs hidden below the surface and the rocking pattern of the waves both destructive and graceful. Sokka blinked once, nervously glancing back at the door, aware of the little time he had and his still empty hand waiting in the dark.

“ _Please_ , Zuko.” He was begging for Zuko. Pleading. Zuko had hurt Sokka. He had hurt him. And yet… Sokka had come for him. Had risked everything, for _him_. He didn’t deserve it, but there was that forgiveness in his eyes, that painful forgiveness that went against every fiber of his being.

Zuko took his hand.

**〜⛭〜**

Sokka tossed open the door with a groggy scowl, blinking back the sting of light against his eyes. He pulled on the handle, holding it for Zuko to peek into the house first, overly cautious in his steps. They hadn’t said a word the entire walk back, which was actually more of a sprint because they didn’t know long it would be before someone noticed that Zuko was missing, and a headstart would at least allow them to get away. But now they were home. Zuko was _home._

The house sat empty, Katara must have gone back to bed, which Sokka was thankful for. The last thing Zuko needed was to be bombarded by questions and prying eyes and Katara’s good natured but sometimes over the top motherly instincts. Sokka guided Zuko to his room, leaving no evidence of him ever being gone, nor the new guest now standing in the doorway of his room.

“Zuko?” Sokka cried out, in nothing more than a whisper, his face contorting into pain and worry. The adrenaline had begun to wear off, leaving Sokka with nothing but the raw emotion that had built up over the weeks. But seeing those amber eyes, the sunset of a thousand stories, he cracked. 

Zuko backed up, realizing the grave mistake he had made. He had no home. No escape. He grasped at his ribs, ripples of agony trailing down his torso.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry Sokka! Please, I’m sorry, -I didn’t mean-” Sokka’s exhale unleashed a broken sob as he passed through the doorway and over to Zuko, shutting the door quietly. Tears filled in his eyes as Zuko glanced up, refusing to meet his gaze.

“Zuko- I... “ Sokka reached out gingerly, and before he even went to touch Zuko, he flinched, making Sokka gasp in response.

“I’m sorry Sokka! I- please! I know I just went away. I’m so sorry, I… I shouldn’t have left.” Sokka broke through Zuko’s barriers and swiftly pulled Zuko into his arms, balling as much of his shirt in his hands as he could, pressing his face in Zuko’s shoulder. Zuko shuddered, from pain mostly, but also in the overwhelming sense of relief.

“I was so worried.” Sokka whispered gruffly into his shirt. Zuko hugged back, clinging to him like he was caught in the riptide to sail off the edge of the world. 

“I’m sorry.” Zuko cried out, his breath labored in its clear sign of the verge of a panic attack. Sokka released his grip and shook his head, biting his lips so hard, his chapped lip cracked and blood seeped through.

“Are you okay?” Zuko's eyes widened and broke away from Sokka’s gentle and secure grasp. The word “yes” tried to work its way up his throat but he shook his head before he could muster up the strength to lie. He inhaled sharply, causing his lungs to swell and his ribcage to crack under the pressure, making him seize and suppress a groan. Sokka watched, expression firm.

“Come here. I’ll patch you up.”

“I’m sorry, you don’t-”

“Zuko please. Just let me _do_ something. No one else is here. You’re safe here.” And something in Sokka’s eyes were so _trustworthy_ , Zuko followed, collapsing on the bed. 

Without a word, Sokka slid out of the room and disappeared from Zuko’s view, only to return seconds later, the metal first aid kit in one hand and a wet cloth in the other. With mattress springs creaking, Sokka climbed back on and sat behind him. Zuko knew exactly what he planned to do. He turned away and kept his head down to hide his fluster of embarrassment. Sokka let out the smallest grunt in complaint.

“Zuko... please, I have... I have to do something.” Zuko didn’t say anything, his chest erupting with sparks of pain. Each individual wound held its own pain, and he could feel exactly where it happened. Every. Single. Time. He closed his eyes and sighed, trying to swallow the rock in his throat. He nodded and allowed Sokka to shift towards him again.  
  
“C-can you lift your arms?” He did so, and Sokka continued to pull up his shirt until it slid off his shoulders and over his head. Sokka stared at the wounds adorning his body, mostly purple bruises, but there were some other marks too. _Burns._ As horrible as it was from the backside, Sokka watched as Zuko hunched over, gipping at his abdomen, like all his ribs were just snapped in half.

“You have to turn to face me, okay?” Zuko let his hair flop down in front of his eyes, mostly to hide behind them, but also to prevent himself from looking into Sokka’s eyes. He _expected_ him to throw him out in the streets, to scream and yell at him and he probably deserved it. But what Zuko was _not_ expecting was Sokka’s feeble yelp as he saw the worst of the damage across Zuko’s chest. His breath lodged in the back of his throat. Sokka let out the worst word he knew. 

“Fuck.” Zuko let out a breathy laugh, but it wasn’t joyful, it was in understanding. Sokka couldn’t help but falter. _Understanding?_ Sokka could barely comprehend the last _hour_ , let alone the four weeks. His head pounded at the thought. Nervously, Sokka reached out, his fingers gracing the very edge of the burn scarring his skin in a branch like pattern. Zuko winced, and Sokka retracted his hand. His stomach turned when he confirmed that this was real.

Sokka turned his attention to the first aid kit and opened it, looking down at the long gauze pad tightly wrapped in the tin box. He pulled it out and fiddled with it for a second, his tongue sticking out as he unwound it. He tossed the gauze to the side and instead tenderly pressed the cool cloth against Zuko's burn. Zuko inhaled sharply, before finding succor in the cool feeling. Maybe he melted because Sokka gently rubbed his fingertips over the untouched skin of his shoulder as he balanced himself and Zuko while he worked. 

Burning stings flared with each gentle touch, but for some reason, Sokka’s fingers didn’t cause the pain he expected. Sokka cleaned each branched off burn, inspecting them for infection, and sighed when he was somewhat satisfied with his job. He fiddled with the gauze again, before gently wrapping his arms around Zuko’s torso to bandage his wounds. He continued to wrap the gauze around, his breath tickling Zuko’s neck. As he came across the worst of the burn dead center of his chest, he paused. He remembered a friend of his back in middle school have a burn in a similar pattern on his arm as a result of boiling soup being spilled on his on accident. Sokka's eyes widened realizing what exactly this burn was.  
  
“Zuko?” He wasn’t sure why he said his name. It just felt like he needed to hear it. His brows knitted together as he stared at the raw skin. It was the dead silence that killed him. Zuko gulped and looked up at him. “What did that _monster_ do to you?” Sokka’s voice trembled as he surveyed the discolored bruises running up Zuko’s sides and dappled across his ribs.

“H-he...” Zuko couldn’t tell Sokka the reason. He just couldn’t. But his mouth moved faster than his brain.

“I’m gay.” Zuko didn’t process his own words until Sokka glanced up at him eyes wide. When his own words did click, he slapped a hand over his mouth, tears already pouring down his face, muttering crumbling “sorries” over and over, but Sokka gathered him up in his arms, the roll of gauze unrolling as it tumbled off the bed. Sokka pressed their heads together, biting his lip as he mumbled. 

“Katara told me. It’s okay.” Zuko pulled away, averting his gaze. “She wanted to keep her promise, but you just _disappeared_. She was worried. I was worried.”

“I’m sorry.” The statement was like a trained reaction. He didn’t even think about it as he said it, it just rolled off his tongue with perfect muscle memory, it was what he was told. He was always the one to say “sorry,” because it was his fault. It was always his fault. 

But Sokka caught that. Nobody had caught that before and once Zuko came to that realization, he did look Sokka in the eye, the metallic grey of his eyes slowly turning a deeper blue as they filled with relief, but also, behind that, rage. Normally Zuko would shrink away, but he also noticed that the rage was not directed at him.

This was not his fault. 

“Zuko, you have absolutely _nothing_ to be sorry for. I kind of… knew, but thank you so much for telling me. Nothing will change how I feel about you. I mean, this kinda works a little bit in my favor but-” Sokka cut himself off as Zuko looked up at him, shocked. Sokka fumbled over his words. “Uh- Uh, I mean… fuck. I- yeah. Yeah, I really like you Zuko. I-I-I understand if you don’t feel the same, and this is NOT the time or place to be saying all this, but- curse me and my fat mouth.” Sokka clamped his mouth shut, shifting away from Zuko, completely flustered. Zuko turned on the bed, twisting his torso just enough to face him fully. He didn’t say anything, mostly too surprised to find the words that would properly describe just what he was feeling. Happy? Scared? Absolutely _in love_. Well, Zuko didn’t recognize the “love part” other than a strange constricting of his chest that didn’t hurt like his wounds, but held the dull ache of longing. But there were just no words to describe the moment.

Sokka quickly turned around the awkward silenced, his cheeks red hot with the blush that held firm against his skin. 

“Katara… told me. About the scar too.” He hesitated. “You don’t have to talk about it, I just… no secrets between us, okay? I know about it, and it makes me livid, but I want you to know that I won’t let him get you. Not anymore. And about what I -embarrassingly- just said, please don’t think you have to act in any way. I would never put you in a position where you’re not comfortable.” Zuko’s eyes widened.

Zuko wanted to kiss him.

And there was nothing stopping him, he realized. Oh yeah, well except for himself and his instinctive response.

“I’m sorry for not telling you.”

“Don’t be. I’m sorry for pushing you about it.” They both shifted their gaze downward, in a still silence, that wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable… just strange. Strange because for the first time, they were so completely open with each other there were no questions penetrating all other ability to think. This time there was no distraction. It was just them sitting on a bed in the dark, quiet house, with no words to be expressed.

“Zuko? You should sleep. You look exhausted.” Sokka was right, and Zuko didn’t even need to look in the mirror to feel the deep bags under his eyes and heaviness of his eyelids. But despite his body begging for sleep, he shook his head, gaze casting down. Sokka carefully got off the bed, and Zuko immediately missed the warmth, but he watched curiously anyway as Sokka shuffled around the room and handed him a t-shirt and pair of pajama bottoms. And as much as this reinforced his need for sleep, something Zuko so desperately fought, he took them and sluggishly tugged them on as Sokka excused himself from the room.

When he finished changing, and organized his other clothes in a neat, folded pile, Sokka came back in, a glass of water and Tyonal in his hand and gave them to Zuko urging him to take it, and Zuko did.

“Sleep.” Sokka nudged him lightly, pulling back the sheets. Zuko nodded and stood, heading towards the door, but paused as Sokka gaped. “Where the hell are you going?”

“...The couch.” Sokka scowled.

“I don’t think so. Get over here.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No, I couldn't let you...” _I'm already a burden enough as it is._ "I'll just stay up, I'm not that tired anyway" His voice was cut off by a yawn and the gentle shake of Sokka’s head as he laid his hands on Zuko’s shoulders, the touch so light, it was barely noticeable if he wasn’t seeing it for himself. He sat back down on the bed and immediately the softness of the mattress pulled his achy body down.

“Try and sleep, please.” Zuko’s face scrunched up with fear as Sokka turned, and instead grabbed his wrist.

“I can’t.” He choked out. “Everytime I close my eyes, I see-” That was all Sokka needed to hear as he crossed to the other side of the bed and slid in next to him. Zuko flipped around to meet Sokka’s calming gaze, his breath tickling his face as Sokka pulled the blankets up to their shoulders. Zuko shuddered, thinking about the nightmares that would plague him if he let himself fall asleep, and shook his head again. Hesitantly, Sokka reached out, brushing his thumb against Zuko’s cheek.

“I’m right here Zuko. I won’t let anything happen to you. I’m right here.” Zuko closed his eyes for a second, taking in the feeling of Sokka’s thumb against his cheek, the electricity that sparked between skin cells, was enough to leave him gasping for air. He did not flinch under his touch, he didn’t even go to cover his face, and maybe it was the warmth and comfort and feeling of safety that began to embrace him or maybe it was those ocean eyes. But still, one thing was unclear: why would Sokka go to all these lengths for him? Zuko was nothing. He was a grain of sand sitting at the bottom of the ocean. 

“Why are you doing this?” Zuko whispered, opening his eyes when he felt Sokka pull away. 

“Because you make me happy.”

“B-but I’m… _nothing_.”

“No Zuko. You are _enough._ Enough for this world, enough for me. I haven’t let myself care about anyone in a long time. But you’re this super strong person, Zuko… maybe I won’t have to worry about losing you quite as much.” There was a weak silence, filled with pitter-patter of rain droplets landing against the windows as the sky opened up and began to cry. No moon would be seen tonight. 

“Say it.”

“Say what?” Zuko knew _what_.

“That you’re enough.” Zuko sighed, shaking his head, but with a gruff whisper, barely audible from him pressing his face into the pillow, Sokka heard him.

“I am enough.” Sokka smiled for the first time that night. 

When two people danced on stage, with sparkling dresses and shoes that clicked against the wood boards in patterns that never stopped, it was a moment of those two souls were in such perfect unison and understanding of each other, that rather than being two people, it is as if they merged into one being. The dance moves between the partners were like clockwork. They ticked to a beat in their hearts and the drumming pattern of the band, but it was melted together into a fire that burned, very different from the swarming heat of the flames that liked the walls of the apartment complex. This fire was the spark as the tip of heels struck the ground in an embrace fate itself couldn’t deny. 

When the very last leaf fell from the great elm trees who had prepared for a long winter, the trees watched that one last one blow away, singing songs of freedom with the wind and last of the white-bellied geese. The dancers too, carried that wind beneath their bouncing hair and dresses and tap shoes. This was their grand finale, grand goodbye as they sang their song of freedom and fire that burned inside of them. And as they bowed in front of the crowd, the lights shimmering upon them, their lives, greatest achievements and their pitiful downfalls caught in their breath watching the world revolve underneath them.

Sokka wasn't poetic enough to bring together metaphors like Zuko could, but he realized that Zuko and him- it was like a swing dance. Zuko was a swing dance. Never expecting the next move, but knowing that no matter what happened it would be beautiful. There was such strength in Zuko, just like the dancers with the stamina of a hurricane brewing in the Atlantic. Maybe Zuko and him would be okay. Maybe one day Sokka could Zuko in his arms and recreate the same clockwork dances and breath like the tide. But Sokka looked at Zuko's gentle eyes and saw the writhing fear... but also sudden curiosity. Sokka was okay with waiting. He was okay with just having Zuko's golden eyes provide a light in the darkness.

“You have eyes like the ocean.” Sokka chuckled at Zuko’s blurted statement, trivial in one sense, and meaning so much more in another.

“You hate the ocean.”

“No, not anymore.” It was Zuko’s way of responding to him. It was his way of putting into words everything he was feeling all at once, like a tsunami dunking him beneath the waves. Yet this time, something about that sensation wasn’t as scary. Maybe this time, Zuko could swim to the surface again.

**〜⛭〜**

Sunlight pierced through the windows and stung the underneath of his eyelids, and even as he squeezed them shut and turned over, the whole room was filled with the golden rays of the early morning. His head was throbbing furiously, each breath quivered with a sharp sting, and every muscle, every skin cell was sore. But he dug further under the blankets, and even if it was already warm outside, he nestled into the layers of sheets and inhaled deeply, wincing at the swelling pain. But as he inhaled he took in the scent of the ocean, salty and humid, and the faint smell of detergent that wasn’t familiar to him. His eyes snapped open as everything flooded back.

Zuko bolted upright, eyes frantically surveying the room. Then glancing at the pool of blankets beside him, he noticed he was alone. He rubbed his eyes, blinking blearily at the bedside table where he saw a couple white pills resting next to a glass of water and bowl of fruit. He squinted against the light, gingerly swinging his legs over the side of the bed, eyes still fixated on the things laid neatly out on the table.

Groaning, Zuko pushed himself up, taking the quiet moment as an opportunity to grasp his surroundings, finding a very different room than the one he had taken Sokka home to when he was drunk. Pictures no longer covered the walls, there were no longer the organized mess of art supplies around the room, no longer the stacks of half folded laundry or surfboard propped against the wall. He sighed, swallowed the two pills dry, and picked up the fruit bowl. He imagined it was Sokka who had left him these things, but he wasn’t sure, there was no note. But he did glance up at the clock and saw it shine 8:20. Zuko never slept in this late, and even if he did, it always felt like he wasted the whole day. Today however, felt different.

He sluggishly moved across the room, his wounds protesting with angry ripples of pain, and the scarring burns on his chest screamed in agony as he tried to stretch the kink out of his neck. With the bowl of fruit in one hand and the other on the door knob, he hesitantly opened the door in search of Sokka. He wasn’t sure why he made the sudden course of action, other than the solitude of the room made him feel incredibly small, and in a strange sense, reminded him of his own room, his own _prison_. He knew he could move freely, but there was just too much swarming his head. He just wanted some air more than anything. 

Unfortunately for Zuko, air would be difficult to reach, especially when met with a 120 pound Great Pyrnees whose tongue covered his face in one, slobbery kiss. Zuko fell backwards at the sudden surprise and the dog- Appa, was already standing over him, tail beating against the door frame as he wagged and styled Zuko’s bed-head with slobbery kisses.

“Oh Appa! No!” Zuko heard a voice, but his view was currently only white fur, but Appa was tugged off of him by the collar, the excited dog yapping in response.

“Morning Zuko! Sorry about that! Appa loves to give kisses.” Appa barked in response, jumping into Aang’s arms. How the kid almost effortlessly carried that monster of a dog over his shoulder like he was nothing was beyond Zuko. 

“Come on, Sokka’s in the kitchen.” Zuko stared at him, flabbergasted. Surely Aang would have asked more questions than he did. Maybe like _where were you? Why have you been missing for four weeks? Why were you sleeping in Sokka’s room?_ But thankfully, he wasn’t bombarded with any of the questions he definitely didn’t want to answer. 

Zuko collected the contents of the fruit bowl that had splattered across the floor after his collison with Appa and followed Aang down the hallway and into the main room, and to his relief, no one else was in the room. His attention turned to the kitchen where a girl’s voice could be heard inside complaining loudly over another obnoxious voice, practically scream-singing the lyrics to some early 2000s pop song.

“Sokka! Stop! You are going to give me a migraine!”

“If you hate my singing so much, go drink your coffee somewhere else! And don’t forget who's making _you_ pancakes.” Zuko peered into the kitchen to see Sokka- back to him, hand on his hip and pointing a spatula at his sister, who’s annoyed glare snapped upward in a worried gaze as she spotted Zuko. Sokka grunted turning to lift the pan off the stove, shaking the pancake before tossing it up in the air to flip. Sokka’s eyes landed on Zuko and the pancake missed the pan as it smacked against Sokka’s foot making him yelp from the heat.

“Zuko! I- uh… you’re up early.” Zuko scrunched his nose in response. Katara could be heard smacking her forehead behind him, before standing and making her way over to Zuko.

“Zuko! Welcome home!” She wasted no time to wrap him up in a hug, which he easily accepted, mainly because he had no choice but to accept her hugs, but he found himself melting into it, as she stood on her tip-toes to throw her arms around his shoulders.

“Hey! What about me!” Aang pouted childishly, joining in on the hug. Zuko flinched slightly under the touch, but he suddenly found himself trapped between the two of them as Katara let out a laugh.

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Sokka grunted from the side, but Katara flashed him a grin and pulled him over, and Zuko was now sandwiched in a group hug. Yay…

“Ew. group hugs? You guys are disgusting... I want in.” Toph called from behind, her and Suki emerging from their shared room, all messy haired and baggy eyed. They wrapped their arms around him, cocooning him in their warmth and sleepy smiles, and slightly concerned expressions that were more directed at Sokka than Zuko. Maybe Zuko could make this home. 

Sokka broke first to flip the pancakes in the pan and pour more batter out as he shoved a tall plate of them into Toph’s hands. 

“Eat. All of you.” Zuko glanced nervously at the group. They didn’t ask questions, didn’t even so much as raise an eyebrow, they just filed into the kitchen, a mess of loud chatter and sticky syrup fingers and acted as if this was where Zuko was always meant to be. Like he was always here. 

Zuko loved it.

“How many do you want?!” Aang asked between packed forfulls of his breakfast, motioning the still growing stack of pancakes as Sokka flipped them off the pan and onto the plate. Zuko stood awkwardly in the center of the kitchen, watching everyone go about their day like normal. Zuko stuck out like a sore thumb in the household but nobody said a thing. He tilted his head at Aang’s question.

“W-what?”

“Pancakes! Sokka’s the best pancake maker!” Aang slammed his fist on the table, making the glasses rattle. Toph and Suki nodded in unison, cheeks stuffed. Sokka smacked Aang in the back of the head, tossing down another plate of pancakes which Toph and Aang greedily tore into. 

“They really are the best!” Suki commented, tugging Sokka by the pajama shirt and kissing his cheek. He grinned and punched her in the shoulder, causing her to punch him back. Zuko squinted at the altercation, strange as it was… and stranger, the ugly feeling that coiled inside him. Something he couldn’t explain other than it made his firsts ball up and stare cold.

“Here.” Sokka handed him a plate with four perfect pancakes. “You should eat. It’ll help with the pain.” Zuko raised his eyebrow causing Sokka to smirk.

“Hey, pancakes make everything better.”

**〜⛭〜**

Sokka wasn’t wrong. Pancakes didn’t make all his problems go away, but he stuffed himself to brim with them and it hadn’t felt this full in ages. The last four weeks were not bountiful in food to say the least.

But he now sprawled on the couch, after Sokka had spent ten minutes convincing Zuko to lay down on the damn sofa and relax. Zuko didn’t want to feel like he was taking up extra space, but Sokka _insisted_ that he wasn’t. And with nobody else home, all of them going out to play volleyball -and have Suki kick their asses- Zuko allowed himself to lay down. And when he did, exhaustion kicked in and he found himself dozing lightly as Sokka sat in the armchair not so quietly watching _Haikyuu_ as he screamed at the tv at every strategy.

“Why are you yelling?!” Zuko groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose at the incoming headache.

“They should have started with a delayed attack that would have thrown the other team off. It’s called strategy!!!” Sokka emphasized the tv. Zuko chuckled dryly and squeezed his eyes shut.

“What are you, plan man or something?”

“As a matter of fact, I am. How else would I have broken into your house? The security system’s advanced, but there’s a forty-five degree angle blind spot in the back door camera for five seconds when it rotates to the left. And it only reaches the third step of the stairs, so if you’re quick, it’s not hard to make it.” Zuko shot upwards, staring at Sokka’s rambling expression. The color quickly drained from his face when they made eye contact, as they had to discuss the previous night’s events. Sokka breaking into his house was one thing, but Zuko running away was another. And then of course there was the matter of the words exchanged the night before.

“...We should probably talk. About everything.” Sokka whispered, trailing off sheepishly.

“Probably.” There was a long pause. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Me either.” They sat there for a while, eyes on their fidgeting hands, deliberately avoiding eye contact and sealing their jaws shut, breathing as low as possible. It was suffocating, the questions that roared through Sokka’s head, and it was drowning Zuko, how much he didn’t have an answer.

“How come… how come the group didn’t, you know… ask questions?” Sokka gulped and dared to glance up.

“I told them not to. Katara already knows everything, and I assumed she’d naturally give you space, but everyone else had to be given information. I didn’t tell them what happened, I just said you would be living with us now, and no questions were to be asked. I can’t guarantee how long that’ll last though. Aang especially is nosy.” Zuko made a little noise that Sokka couldn’t decipher and waited patiently for Zuko to think of a reply. But how did one reply to this kind of stuff?

“Zuko? We still need to talk about it. The game plan, your health and safety… the future.”

“I don’t want to go back.” Zuko mumbled, letting his head fall into his hands.

“You won’t. You can stay with us. And when Summer ends, you can stay in the dorms at school… Will he come after you? Would he send the police to find you?” Zuko shook his head. This much he knew for sure.

“No. I’m not worth it in his eyes. He wouldn’t bother.” Sokka swallowed hard. Never in his entire life did he think he’d be hearing this from anyone, much less the person he was slowly falling in love with. But then again, when did anything ever go as planned? There was white rage that coursed through Sokka at the thought of seeing Zuko in pain, especially at the hands of that _monster_ , but there was also the horrible feeling of uselessness. He could have gone to the police, but what good would it have done Zuko to be dragged into that mess and force him to relive all his pain? Sokka could have also killed Ozai, which he wouldn’t have done, but suddenly it made a little more sense to him why someone would feel that enraged to pull an act like that. But as he looked at Zuko, he wanted nothing more than to just give him all that he didn’t have before. A home. A place to be safe, people who loved him. 

“And what about Azula?” Sokka’s tone was absolutely murderous.

“What about her?” _Was he serious?_ Azula had been the one to destroy him, the one to start all of this! She had been the one to burn the Kyoshi Warriors uniforms, been the one to take the photo of Zuko and him, hell she encouraged the party! 

“She started this! I could’ve killed her! I tracked her down and demanded answers and all she did was tell me it was my fault! And it was! If I hadn’t tried to fucking kiss you, then she wouldn’t have to proof picture and you wouldn’t be hurt!” Sokka was screaming by the end of it, the remote held so tightly in his fist the plastic cracked under the pressure.

“Sokka! It wasn’t your fault! I wrote in my journals, you were a character in my story and I got carried away and Azula found all of it!... wait you…” Zuko's voice quivered. “You said you didn’t remember the party. How did you know you tried to-”

“You said the same thing, so how did you know?” Sokka pointed a finger in his direction. Both of them glared at each other like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Their eyes met, but fear and anger and pain writhed inside their pupils, dancing like a candle struggling against the whipping wind. Their expressions fell and voices grew quiet.

“I was embarrassed… so I lied.”

“Me too. I shouldn’t have run.”

“No! Zuko you had every right! I invaded your boundaries and I can be a handful when I’m drunk, I know. I have zero verbal filter.” Much to Sokka’s surprise, Zuko laughed.

“This is really fucked up.” He rasped out, gripping at his torso as the movement of his diaphragm caused a dull soreness to erupt from his bruises.

“ _We’re_ really fucked up.” Sokka smiled a little, trying to swallow down the deep blush creeping up his cheeks. “But seriously, should I be worried about Azula?” Zuko thought for a second.

“Yes and no. Yes, in that she could go out of her way to destroy me, but also no. She’s slipping. There’s something wrong with her, and she needs help. My father always treated her like a golden child, but I don’t think it's all that black and white. I think Azula’s slipping because she saw what he did to me and now she’s afraid he’ll find out the truth.” Zuko pressed his lips together, fists curling as he thought about his own sister being treated the way he was. 

“What truth Zuko?”

“I was taught that what I am is _wrong_.”

“You’re not.” Sokka huffed out quickly. Zuko chose to ignore the statement.

“And I think Azula thinks she is too.” Sokka nodded in understanding, now fully recognizing the sliver of fear he had seen in Azula’s eyes. He opened his mouth to respond, but the front door was thrown open and the room was filled with boisterous laughter.

“Aang! Put me down!” Katara squealed with laughter as Aang picked her up bridal style as he carried her into the house, both of them breathing heavily in between fits of giggles. Sokka and Zuko quickly halted their conversation, pretending to be watching tv and not at all like they were both drowning in silence.

Toph followed, a handful of volleyballs tumbling from her grasp and rolling across the floor. And Suki and the entire volleyball team filed in after them, covered in sweat and sand and old workout clothes, Suki screaming “Haikyuu’s on!” before throwing herself onto Sokka. Zuko glanced back at Sokka who had collapsed back in his chair as Sokka ruffled her hair, shoving her off because “Ew Suki, you’re sweaty!” But the two fell to the floor in a tangle of limbs and giggles as they wrestled like children, Sokka seemingly pretending the deep conversation never happened. This made the ugly feeling crawl up Zuko’s throat again and as he finally realized what it was, he shrugged away from the room. 

**〜⛭〜**

Four days passed and Zuko didn’t leave the house. Not that he minded, this house wasn’t like the prison of his own home. He could have come and gone, but he didn’t. It was nice to explore the rooms in silence, or let Aang tug him along as he gave detailed tours of everybody’s room. In the mornings he woke early enough to see Katara heading out to surf and Suki going out for a morning practice. In the evenings after dinner, he and Sokka formed a silent ritual of tending to his wounds, away from the others in the safety of Sokka’s room. Neither of them spoke during this time, but a lot was still said. Between the subtle glances, gentle touches, Zuko still fought it, but he noticed he fought himself a little less. Maybe he was just so exhausted, so close to sailing off the end of the world that he simply didn’t fight what was wrong. Or maybe it was because Sokka’s ocean eyes were so bright, so full of compassion and hope that he simply didn’t care when his fingers brushed across his chest, caring for the spots on his skin that had felt so much hate.

Sokka had a routine when dealing with the injuries. An ordered routine which he hadn’t once yet faltered, because he took this deadly serious. Not that he would let it show, his main concern was not making Zuko feel bad about the situation. The constant uttered apologies killed him, and anything to ease the senseless guilt burdening Zuko would have to do. The first thing Sokka would do when retiring for the night was set up the bed, resting pain meds and a glass of water on _Zuko’s side of the bed_ -he tried his best not think about that one too hard, but his chest swelled with excitement at just the idea.- When Zuko came in Sokka would immediately start to tend to each bandaged wound, even against Zuko’s protests that he could do it himself. After that, they would fall into silence as Sokka removed the gauze over the chest burn, cleaned and disinfected -he always hated that part, as the disinfecting stung like a bitch and he hated hurting Zuko- and checked for infection. 

He admittedly spent more time than was necessary checking the burns for infection. So sue him, if Zuko shirtless on his bed wasn’t really freakin’ attractive. But Sokka did do a good job of making sure the burns were well tended to, his finger lightly running over the least affected skin, glancing up at Zuko to make sure he wasn’t hurting him. Zuko would always flinch under the first skin on skin contact, but slowly Sokka could see the tension release from Zuko’s shoulders. After he redid the gauze, Zuko and him had started watching movies on his laptop, under the mountain of blankets and darkness of the room. 

It was a nice silence. A nice _unspoken_ silence. But still there were things that needed to be discussed. Sokka’s brain kept drifting to the list, and Zuko thoughts were still fixated on the bare walls, the ghosts of Sokka’s works still clearly haunting him. And of course, there was the matter of _them_.

But as long as Zuko could continue living in this fantasy world, one where he could maybe, just maybe, one day be okay, he was willing to put all questions to the side for now.

**〜⛭〜**

On the morning of the fifth day, Zuko rose long before Sokka did. He had startled himself awake with a soundless scream from a nightmare and had instinctively reached across the bed, wrapping an arm around the closest source of warmth. Once his brain kicked its gears into motion and he could make reasonably conscious thoughts, he hastily pushed himself away from Sokka, realizing what he had done. But Sokka was still asleep -and snoring loud enough to shake the house on its foundation- and so Zuko got away with only a firm scolding of himself. With no chance of falling asleep, Zuko crawled out of bed and into the hallway. The other bedroom doors were closed and he could hear Toph snoring loudly from her room -her and Sokka were sometimes eerily similar in their mannerisms.- He padded down the hall but was caught by Suki’s curious gaze as she laced her shoes.

“Hi Zuko.” She said calmly, and Zuko nearly jumped out of his skin, but quickly recovered with an awkward rub of the back of his neck.

“Oh… hi Suki. Sorry.” She raised an eyebrow and stood, hands on her hips.

“For what?” Before Zuko could put together his sputtering into a somewhat intelligible answer, Suki had already moved on, opening the door and motioning him to follow.

“Come on. You wanna help me practice? I could use a setter.” Zuko gulped and nodded, wordlessly following her out of the house and down towards the volleyball net down on the beach. Suki had a ball tucked under her one arm and used the other to push back the short loose strands from her hair.

“What do I do?” Zuko asked nervously, but Suki just grinned.

“Just push the ball off your fingertips and send it straight into the air. I’ll spike it across the net. Sokka normally sets for me, but by the way I heard him snoring, he’s out cold this morning.” She snickered and tossed him the ball. He did what he was told and while it was a little high, Suki made it work.

“So… how are you?” Zuko was taken aback by the sudden question, not that it wasn’t any out of the ordinary.

“Fine.” He replied gruffly, sending the ball in the air. This time it was too far to the right and Suki missed. He hissed out an apology but she just laughed and shrugged.

“Sokka’s worried about you, you know. So you don’t have to play tough, we all have your back.”

“I’m not! I… there’s no reason to worry. Sokka is just friendly like that I suppose. You would know, you two are… close.” Suki dropped the ball she was fumbling with, suddenly getting clarification on the whole situation.

“Did Sokka tell you about us?” Zuko furrowed his eyebrows, frowning. Just what about _them?_

“Depends.” He shot back coldly.

“Sokka is my best friend. It goes both ways. That’s it. We dated for a while but we broke up. We’re much better as friends and potential crime partners. So you have nothing to worry about. Sokka only has eyes for you.” Zuko’s eyes snapped open.

“I-I-I!”

“Talk to him. Okay? Please for both your sakes. He’s worrying himself sick because he cares about you so much and he hates to see you in pain. The last few weeks were not good ones for him.” There was a stiff silence interrupted only with the rough waves crashing against the shore. A storm was coming in, it was heavy in the air with the low hanging clouds scattered across the sky in deep shadows.

“Does… does it have something to do with the bare walls in his room.” Suki bit her lip.

“...He tore them all down. Ripped them to shreds. The piece of Yue he won an award for. He shredded it beyond recognition. Katara found him like that. I don’t think it was just over you. I think he was feeling guilty and angry and still grieving Yue and it was all tied up into one mess because he thought he had lost you too.” Zuko swallowed thickly.

So Sokka had been the one to do this. It ripped at Zuko’s insides, just to the extent of Sokka’s grieving. He understood, but it still made him nauseous. Sokka needed him. Sokka needed _Zuko_. Just like he needed Sokka.

“Thanks Suki. I… I need to go think about some things.” She nodded and smiled softly.

“Anytime Zuko.”

**〜⛭〜**

It was late in the afternoon, and while the sky was still a hazy grey and the waters were dark, it had yet to rain. Zuko didn’t return to the house until later that day, he had spent most of his time wandering up and down the beach, far away from the mansion atop its hill. It still loomed over him and his thoughts, but he didn’t feel the need to return to his own prison, and that freeing feeling was enough to make him smile.

But he had to think. He had to sort out everything that had happened over the summer. He had to figure out who he was and what he was doing. And trying to turn around an entire belief system carved into his head was no easy feat.

But he did eventually return to the house, to a very disgruntled Sokka who had been worried sick.

“Where the hell were you?!” He shouted, bouncing up from the couch. 

“I went for a walk.” Zuko replied shortly. Sokka snorted.

“All day?!” Zuko narrowed his eyes and nodded. Sokka growled under his breath and rubbed his eyes.

“Just… take your phone next time. You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.” Zuko replied feebly.

“It’s okay… Are you up to going to the beach? I want to catch a few waves while they’re strong like this. But you don’t have to swim.” Sokka was quick to say the last part, but was surprised when Zuko smiled under his overgrown bangs.

It took the two of them all about five minutes to throw on a pair of swim trunks and grab Sokka’s surfboard that was leaning on the side of the condo. And it took them all about two minutes to race each other down to the shore, and despite the chest pains, Zuko tore through the sand dunes after Sokka. For just a moment, they were kids again. Just two teens who were on summer vacation on the beach, with no looming fears or worries, no scars to mark their past, no uncertainty about the future. It was just them and the tide.

Sokka dove straight into the water, swimming out until his feet barely touched the sea floor. He pierced the surface, spitting out water with a grin.

“Do you want to come?” Sokka shouted, and Zuko nodded although there was a prolonged hesitation. But eventually, his feet dug beneath the clumps of wet sand as the white foam gathered at his ankles, and the humid air was a little more manageable. The waves were rough today, telltale signs of an incoming storm, but Sokka was already swimming out to catch the massive waves breaking at the sand bar. There was no way in hell Zuko was going out there, but he was happy to wade in the ocean at his waist and watch Sokka push himself and his surfboard to the crashing streaks of water.

Sokka was a good surfer. He caught the wave with ease and stood, balancing himself and grinning wildly as the wind tossed his hair around. He was by no means at Katara’s level who almost made it seem as if she made the water do her bidding for her. But Sokka was laughing and that made Zuko’s chest swell and just maybe he could get used to seeing Sokka smile everyday.

Sokk pulled himself towards the shore not too long after, splashing Zuko as he approached, making both of them laugh and curse at the salt water’s sting. And then Sokka held out his hand, motioning for Zuko to climb on the board, but a droplet of water fell on top of Zuko’s head making him glance up at the sky. In the span of five seconds, the sky opened up and began to pour, pounding the ocean below with thousands of heavy ringlets from the impact and causing the waves to rock forcibly against the boys.

“Holy Shit!” Sokka grabbed Zuko’s hand, hastily tugging the two of them and the board out of the water and up the beach. Sokka pulled the surfboard above his head and Zuko held the other half, using it as shelter from the rain that pummeled them from every angle.

“There’s a pavilion up ahead!” Zuko could barely hear Sokka’s words cut off by the whipping wind, making shivers run down his spine. Sokka sprinted through the sand, the fine grains kicking up and sticking to his wet skin. The boys made it to the pavilion, breathless and shivering from the freezing rain, but at least now they had a roof over their heads.

“Well so much for that.” Sokka huffed out irritable, collapsing on the wooden picnic table. Zuko sat down next to him, trying to push the clumps of sand stuck to his legs off, but ended up spreading the grains over his hands and arms. With an exasperated sigh he leaned back and took the chance to look at Sokka and those brilliant ocean eyes.

“It’s not the end of the world.” Zuko replied.

“Now look who’s the voice of reason.” Sokka snorted, crossing his arms harshly over his chest. They sat in silence, Sokka trying to conjure a million conversation starters but only one ever really stuck. 

_I really freakin’ like you_

Well fuck that. The last thing Sokka wanted to do was run his fat mouth again. He glanced up and found Zuko’s eyes already on him, hair plastered to his skin, water droplets dripping off his jaw from his soaked hair. Sokka grinned at the sight and reached out, smoothing the strands away from his face.

Zuko looked up, catching his eyes in a battle between blue and gold. He was so close. Sokka, himself leaned forward closing off the space between, pausing when Zuko’s foggy breath disappeared as it hitched in his throat. Sokka could feel his stomach churn and he hunched over not sure if it was nerves or if he was actually going to puke. He sucked in sharply and adjusted his position, briefly causing the slight brush of his nose against Zuko’s. His heart slammed against his rib cage as the same little flicker of light, barely a candle glow, illuminated in those eyes.  
  
And as before, it was blown away into smoke.  
  
“Sokka I-I… can’t do this to you… please.” His voice was so broken, anguish and grief blockading the screaming desire in his brain. Sokka could see it all hidden in his pupils. He could see it being shoved further down. It was like an entire story was occurring in the soft darkness that stared at him.  
  
Sokka shook his head and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Zuko’s. Zuko didn’t pull away, and instead leaned further towards him, allowing their noses to brush, leaving a lingering feeling of warmth.

“I’m poison.”  
  
Those two little words. Words that had been chipped away over time. Cornered and beaten as every thought was corrupted by hours upon hours of belittlement. But it was much less a statement and more of a question. A question so afraid to be heard it changed to a warning. A defense mechanism to keep access to happiness as far away as possible. Zuko’s words… those two little words suddenly opened up the black hole gradually growing inside him. It sucked everything in. The cold wind. His impending hunger. Sokka’s eyes.  
  
Sokka leaned in and sealed the space between them as their lips met. It was barely a brush, leaving the kiss chaste and innocent. His eyes widened at his little action, surprising himself. But as the initial shock of it wore off he was suddenly aware of every cell in his body, vibrating- against the cold rain maybe, like an electric shock. Zuko was suddenly aware of every hair on his body standing on end and the feeling of skin on skin contact, a feeling of which felt glorifying, like he could walk on water. Even with feeling so centered, so sentient, he was oblivious to the roaring wind and pounding rain around him, because for once in his life, something felt… sturdy.  
  
Zuko was always such a curious kid. Always questioning everything, always questioning his emotions to the point where he scared himself away from the world. It was easier that way, he couldn’t bear to have his emotions interfere with society. It simply was not acceptable. It left him anxious and shy. God he was such a mess, even before his father dragged him through trench after trench of hate and pain, something that could snap away the sanity of a person before their eyes, and yet they wouldn’t even know it. Zuko’s nerves in this moment were on fire. That curious question of what Sokka’s lips felt like, answered, the thrill of going against all that he knew, all that he was manipulated to think. It was like a rebellion, like being a traitor of a nation he was not proud to be a part of. And it was horrifying, the idea of it, but then Sokka’s lips were on his and he couldn’t bear to think about anything else.

Zuko was broken. He knew that even as he pulled away from Sokka’s grasp. He was a mess of scars, inside and out, with unkempt hair, and a mark of shame across his left side, the same one that ripped out who he was and buried where no one could find it. But then by some miracle, Sokka had found it. Of course, it didn’t piece the fragments of the broken mirror that would be built back up to Zuko’s familiar reflection, for Zuko was still broken.

But he had kissed Sokka. He had gone against all his fighting instincts and let Sokka kiss him. 

And he loved it. He loved the stirring in his stomach. Loved the close proximity. Loved the warmth he shared with another human. Just for a moment he could see the light of his own eyes, reflected in Sokka’s. Zuko shoved through his nagging fears and kissed him back.

He found his hands running over the hem of Sokka’s sopping wet shirt, the material pliant between his fingers, but it felt so… normal. Sokka tugged him tighter, his lips responding to the movement. He could feel the knotted muscles running up Zuko’s shoulders relax. For the time being, everything was right in the world.  
  
A rush of breath against his tinted cheeks knocked both of them from their daze but the tingling feeling in their lips never left. Sokka exhaled, short of breath, but he didn’t bother to take any notice. He was too lost in the sunrises that finally reached out, rays warm and golden.

 _I’m poison._ The statement echoed through his mind again, tightening his chest and sticking to his throat. His vocal tubes swelled shut as his saliva coated the inside of his mouth thickly, unable to pass the rock stuck in his throat. Not a real one, of course, but it felt that way. He felt like he was choking and breathing freely all at the same time. Zuko seemed to have this effect on him. He swallowed roughly, finally having an answer to Zuko’s silent question.  
  
“I don’t care.”

**〜⛭〜**

They made their way back to the house just as the sun set over the horizon, hands brushing together as they walked, sending shivers trailing up their arms. Sokka still felt light and dizzy as if he had taken in too much helium, and couldn’t help but overthink every second of that moment.

The sunrise eyes and gentle smile, and scar that told a thousand stories and Sokka wanted to read them all.

Zuko too was left in a daze, thinking about the thrilling feeling of Sokka’s lips on his own. It was wrong, every instinct in his body screamed at him, and he knew he would pinch himself for it later, but for now he simply relished the blue eyes that were no longer a tsunami meant to drown him, but was instead the river drifting downstream as some distant path Zuko couldn’t help but want to follow. And Zuko should have kicked himself when he reached out to grab Sokka’s hand, but he didn’t. He was safe here. Maybe, just maybe, he could be okay.

That maybe since Sokka wasn’t _wrong,_ Zuko wasn’t either.

The sun dipped below the line where the water met the sky and a shade of light purple cascaded the island with its serene fortitude over the shadows, a blanket of stars that guided them in the darkness next to the beautiful moon, her light never missing, always welcomed, just no longer needed. The clouds were still heavy in the atmosphere, but the rain had cleared leaving the boardwalk steamy and humid. They arrived home at that time, their stomachs growling with hunger, but neither of them bringing up the idea of breaking the trance to ransack the kitchen. Sokka didn’t really want to go inside either, but he and Zuko were both still soaking wet and freezing, and so he pulled on the door handle, letting Zuko in first, before following.

“Sokka!” Katara grinned, looking up from her cards. The group was sprawled out on the living room floor, playing BS with the deck of bedazzled cards and by the looks of it, Toph was destroying everyone… as usual. He sent them finger guns, which made Suki and Aang roar with laughter in response.

“You want to join?” Sokka threw a look over his shoulder to Zuko, and Zuko shrugged with a gentle smile playing on his lips.

“Yeah. Just let Zuko and I change first.” Sokka tugged Zuko down the hallways, trying his best to ignore the fits of hushed whispers and giggles as they watched the pair hurry down the hall, both of their faces lit up like Polaris in the night sky. Sokka shoved Zuko inside, roughly closing the door behind them, cursing at his stupid friends for embarrassing him, his grumbles low enough for Zuko to miss the remark completely.

“I have a pair of pajamas you can use.” Sokka dug around in his drawers and handed a messily folded pair of pajama pants and a blue t-shirt. 

“Thanks.” Zuko tugged off his shirt, while Sokka stared intently. “Do… do you mind?” Zuko raised his eyebrow and did his best to conceal the blush that rose up his cheeks at seeing Sokka’s playful smirk.

“No not at all. You are very attractive.” Zuko scoffed as if to disagree and Sokka stopped him, firmly resting his hands on Zuko’s wrist, but making sure Zuko caught the movement. He did, and he _didn’t_ flinch. “Hey. I mean it. I mean every word I say.” Zuko nodded stiffly and paused, staring at Sokka’s wide eyes as they slipped closed and he leaned in again. This time, Zuko didn’t rip himself from Sokka’s hold, and didn't run. Fear still made its way up his throat in a suffocating choke on his breath and his muscles tensed beneath Sokka’s touch, but he didn’t _want_ to run. Sure, it was his natural instinct, but he was in Sokka’s room, _safe_ , and so he leaned in and kissed him.

He let the tide ever so gently carry him away.

“Hey Sokka! Someones at the door!” Sokka tore away from Zuko, panic causing his chest to heave. 

“Shit! You stay here… just in case.” Zuko flinched desperately hoping it wasn’t the _just in case._ Sokka quickly peeled off his wet shirt and replaced it with a dry one, and disappeared from the room, leaving Zuko alone.

Sokka entered the main room, an eerie silence washing over the rest of the group and Katara who was standing and waiting for him. _“Who is it?”_ He mouthed to his sister, but she simply shrugged. Another harsh rasp at the door made them jump, before the siblings nervously approached the entryway and twisted the door knob.Sokka instinctively pushed Katara back, but standing before him was not the Ozai or the police. Standing before Sokka, a nervous flare lit up in their eyes, glazed over like amber, hardened and sour, but still all the menacing, was Azula.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters!!! I also redid the drawing that Sokka does of Zuko and its up on my tumblr! You can visit it here ( https://daisythedoodledog.tumblr.com/ )
> 
> I definitely didn't have Sokka watch Haikyuu because I'm currently obsessed with it... no but seriously someone take Haikyuu away from me when I fall, I fall way too hard.
> 
> Thank you so so much for reading!! Until next time,  
> -Daisy


	11. Swingin' on a Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things might just be looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omgomgomg guys I'm back!
> 
> FIRSTLY I'd like to apologize for the massive break. My mental health was not great for a few weeks and then school decided to kick my ass all the way to Antarctica. But I'm back and with the final chapter of the story... except for an epilogue which is almost done, so no more long waits, I promise.
> 
> But the biggest THANK YOU in the world for all of you have read this and have stuck with me, it makes me so so so happy and it makes writing so worth it!!!!! Seriously your comments mean the world to me.
> 
> So without further adieu, let me present to you the last chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

****Chapter Eleven- Swingin’ on a Star** **

“What the fuck are _you_ doing here?!” Sokka hollered, pushing Katara further back and stepping out onto the porch to scan Azula up and down. For once she looked… small. Sokka’s eyes fell on the box in her hands, and the duffel slung over her shoulder, but then traveled up to meet her gaze. She looked as if she wanted to roll her eyes and sneer, but she pursed her lips instead, gripping the box tighter.

“A-Azula?” Azula’s head snapped up at the exact same time that Sokka whipped around, sputtering madly as he used one foot to prop the door and the other to push Zuko out of view. Zuko shoved away Sokka’s foot and stepped out to greet her.

“Zuko.” She responded stiffly, chin high.

“What are you doing here?” He was on edge, his tone firm but not lacking the nervous quiver that resulted from his writhing fears inside him. “If you’re here to take me home, I’m not going back.”

“I know. I’m not trying to get you to come back.” She shot back as if it was so blatantly obvious, her knuckles white as she gripped the box harder.

“Then what the hell do you want?! I’ll kick your ass to the moon!” Katara shoved her brother’s shoulder, knocking him off balance and stomped towards Azula, eyes blazing. Azula opened her mouth… then closed it. It was like even _she_ didn’t know the answer to the question. She gulped, pushing her hair from her face, ignoring Katara, which just made the girl turn absolutely murderous.

“I brought these.” She motioned to the box. “Now will you let me in. Time’s not passing any faster out here.” She tapped her foot impatiently, watching the group exchange nervous glances before Katara cautiously stepped aside and let her in.

“What’s in the box?” Sokka growled, still standing in front of Zuko, keeping a solid distance between the siblings. Sokka reached out for Zuko’s hand, but as his finger made contact with the back of Zuko’s hand, Zuko tugged away harshly.

“It’s none of your business.” Azula snapped. But then she turned to Zuko and held out the box, waiting for him to take it. Nervously, he did. “I think it’s due time for a little brother and sister chat.” Zuko began to nod, peering into the lid of the box and catching sight of an ombre of oranges at the very bottom. 

“Yeah, I think the fuck not.” Sokka roared, jabbing a finger in Azula’s direction. “Toph and I barely scratched the surface of how badly we will beat you up.” Toph ginned manically, cracking her knuckles.

“Not to mention what you did to my team! I should have your head for that!” Suki clenched her fists, storming up to her, arm reeled back. Azula looked as if she was ready to take it. But she didn’t have the chance, because Zuko jumped in front, shaking his head.

“Let us talk.” He turned to Sokka, eyes narrow. “Alone.”

**〜⛭〜**

“So… what’s in the box?” Her lips curled into a smirk, full of secrets and cryptic codes of her emotions. She shook the box lightly in her hands, before slamming it down on the bed, motioning for him to open it. Zuko neared the edge of the bed, peering down at the box, lid half open and as he tentatively flipped the sides up, he glanced back at Azula’s cautious glare softening. 

“Why?” He asked, finding it safe enough for him to sit down and benign to rifle through his belongings. He pulled all his notebooks out, his stories still in perfect condition inside, found the red jacket Iroh had gotten him for Christmas the year before, and the wad of money he had hidden in the back of his closet. At the bottom of the box, was something he had forgotten, something that had been a restoration of hope when he had none, but now realized, he didn’t rely on it so heavily. It was the portrait of him, tucked neatly with Sokka’s messy signature scribbled out at the bottom.

Azula moved to sit on the other side of the box, scoffing.

“I doubt it would’ve been any better off at the bottom of a garbage can.” She tried to make her comment sound like a sneer, but these words didn’t match her violent expression. And even after all that she was desperate to pull in her little façade, Zuko could see the exhaustion behind her eyes. Zuko had never much studied his sister’s eyes before, he had always kept his own gaze downward, not wanting to look the devil in the eye. But as he watched her pupils flicker around the room uneasily, he noticed they looked almost identical to their moms’. 

“Why are you here Azula? You said you wanted to chat, and so far I’ve done the talking.” He gripped the edges of the box as he stared her down. Azula didn’t falter. 

“What, I have to have a reason to see my brother?” Zuko raised his eyebrow. She scoffed. “I realized that father is good at a lot of things. Like politics, and covering his tracks. But I also realized there are a handful of things he isn’t good at.”

“Like being a father?” Zuko scoffed bitterly, folding his arms over his chest.

“ _Like_ doing his taxes. He’s smart, but not smarter than me.” Zuko waved his hands, wondering what the fuck this had to do with anything. “Well, if I’m going to inherit his talent at politics and take on a high role in those positions, I can’t have dirty little secrets waiting to be revealed. So I’m leaving.” She stated it so plainly, like an easy explanation for all that had happened. But Zuko was smart too, and he was a writer. He had a knack at catching a metaphor, and something as cryptic as “Dirty little secret” held a lot more context than it appeared.

Zuko could read Azula like a book. She had snapped, and he watched by the way her eyes flickered that she was unraveling, but not furthering her metamorphosis into the monster her father tried to corrupt her into, she was unraveling into something new, something more like her true self.

Maybe she would still go to the grave protecting her “dirty little secret,” but now there was nothing but the fine line where the ocean met the sky for her to hide from him.

Zuko looked from the contents inside the box and back up at his sister, her starry-eyed gaze slowly fading into some distant stare. Zuko cleared his throat, getting her attention to snap back up to him, a cruel smirk on her lips, as if she knew the meaning behind every word he wrote. It was ironic, seeing who knew more about who.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to hide here.” There was a sudden shift in her expression, something twisting into a violent nature, bolting with white hot rage. Her whole body seemed to contort back into something monstrous, eyes narrow and firm, glare sharp enough to cut and draw blood. Zuko narrowed his eyes back. “You and I aren’t that different, and-”

“I am NOTHING LIKE YOU!" Zuko reached out to her, trying to calm her, mouthing that it was okay, but she snarled. "Get the fuck away from me!” Azula shoved him away and stood, ready to stalk off when Zuko snagged her wrist.

“I don’t care who you try to be Azula! You can try and hide it from the world, but you can’t hide it from me and you can’t hide it from yourself. So quit the bullshit and detrimental perfectionism and look at me!” Azula’s eyes grew wide, her breath labored as she exhaled. 

“No more hiding. Either of us. Dad’s not here to hurt us, he can’t get to us. Not anymore. So it’s time to get out of his shadows and-” He was cut off by his sister as she threw his arms around him in a backbreaking hug, devastatingly desperate as she clung to him. Too shocked to process the action, he stood there for a moment completely frozen. But then he hugged her back.

“I’m a monster.” She growled into his shoulder, promptly pulling away with another snarl. Zuko shook his head.

“No. Not really. You were manipulated and raised by one. You never had the choice to choose who you wanted to be.” Tears filled her eyes but she quickly wiped them away with a scoff.

“And what about you?”

“I had mom for a while. Then she was gone and I wasn’t so sure. I think maybe I would have followed down that path at some point if it hadn’t been for Sokka. I think he saved me.”

“I…” There was a long, uncomfortable silence.

“You were really little, but do you remember mom and how she used to swing dance? She would dance if our father was away on a business trip, but she would swing dance with a friend of hers out in the garden. You must’ve been four or five, but she’d take us out there and teach us. You were good, and you laughed the entire time. I was… it took me a lot more practice, and mom continued to teach me, but when you drifted towards dad, she stopped. I love mom, and I miss her, but I will never be able to forgive her for that. Maybe if she had just taught you dance, maybe, just maybe the two of us would have had each other. I’m sorry about that… but maybe we can start over?” Azula lifted her head, not quite sure what Zuko meant, but he held out his hand. Her eyes widened as she understood. She scoffed and rolled her eyes, but Zuko’s expression was unwavered and his hand still was open and accepting. She looked at him and saw a glimmer of forgiveness.

But she didn’t take his hand.

**〜⛭〜**

His scream was soundless, but it didn’t mean it was any less painful. His whole body convulsed and shook, but it was the silent type of suffering, nobody in the entire would could have known that he was drowning in his own deafening screams trapped inside his skull. Nobody outside his bedroom knew the flames that licked the walls of his ribcage, and burned his nervous systems to nothing more than dying embers, being carried away by the breeze.

Sokka caught it. It was like a whole earthquake shattering his world, and jolting him to his senses. The spot on the bed next to him was shaking, the blankets kicked to the floor. Sokka raised his head groggily, hair stuck in his mouth and drool on the corner of his mouth. But he fell into reality head first as Zuko whimpered in his sleep, gasping for air and clutching at his soaked shirt.

“Zuko. Zuko, wake up!” Sokka clambered over his own blanket and shook his shoulder vigorously. Zuko’s eyes snapped open very suddenly, gulping and opening his mouth as if to scream.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, please don’t hurt me!” He cried out, tears streaming down his face and sat up, shrinking back into the headboard of the bed and going up to cover his head.

“Zuko it’s me. It’s Sokka.” Sokka whisper-screamed, trying to snake him out of his frenzied state of the night-terror, the one that morphed his dreams into a sick form of reality, the shadows created by the moon glow creating horrible monsters that reached for him. Zuko looked at him, but wasn’t _seeing_ him. The stare was distant and distressed, not at all like the comforting gaze he reserved only for Sokka. 

“Hey, Come back to me. It’ll be okay, but focus on my voice.” Sokka sat back on his shins, keeping his hands low and several inches away from Zuko. He made steady eye contact, breathing in and out as slow and calm as he could manage. Gradually, Zuko’s exasperated apologies slipped away to muffled whimpers, and after that, his hands lowered from his face and he looked up wide-eyed at Sokka.

“...S-sokka?” Sokka nodded, and as much as his fingers itched to touch Zuko, to run his hands through his hair, cup his face, rub circles into his back, he stayed still.

“There you are, buddy. I was worried there for a second.” This time he did reach out, placing a light touch on his shoulder, but Zuko jolted away, eyes wide with panic.

“...I’m sorry.” Zuko mumbled, his reddened face, getting increasingly warm from his sheepish flush. Sokka shook his head and fidgeted his thumbs. “Why are you looking at me like I’m glass?” Zuko snapped. His panicked stare became furrowed and cold in a blink of an eye, his fists clenching with an impending anger. 

“I’m not- you're not.” Zuko’s expression shifted between a desperate need to be in Sokka’s radiating warmth and a cruel avoidance from himself. "...Can I...?" Zuko didn’t answer, but it wasn’t a no, so Sokka leaned forward, and pulled Zuko into his arms, clutching his shirt in his hands, pressing his face into the crook of Zuko’s neck. Zuko immediately melted into the touch, for Sokka hugged him like _he needed_ Zuko, not the other way around. 

“It’ll be okay.” Sokka whispered. “I know that’s hard to believe, but we’ll be okay.” Zuko nodded into his collar bone, sinking into Sokka’s body, letting his tears be wiped away with Sokka’s pajama shirt. Slowly, Sokka rocked over onto his back, still holding Zuko in his chest as he pulled the blanket up to their shoulders.

“I won’t let go if you don’t want me too.” He whispered, but to his surprise, Zuko pulled away, shifting onto his side, before slotting himself next to Sokka again, looping an arm around his torso and placing his head on his chest. Sokka’s breath hitched in his throat, as he stared down at Zuko’s unruly hair, and pale skin. He listened to Zuko’s breathing, and the near hour it took before it finally leveled out, but Sokka could tell he wasn’t asleep- it was his mind’s form of protest from exposing itself to the trauma plaguing his slumber. Sokka thought about it, letting the pain blossom in his chest until it hurt so bad, it felt like the thoughts were eating him alive.

Zuko gradually calmed, his sweat drying, his breath leveling, but Sokka's tears overpowered his stubbornness and spilled down his cheeks. Sokka cried softly, pressing his forehead into Zuko’s hair, holding him tighter.

“Sokka?” Zuko choked out, raising his chin to meet Sokka’s watery gaze.

“I’m so sorry Zuko. I wish I could take away your pain, make it all go away and I’m sorry that I can’t.” Zuko brought his hand to Sokka’s cheek, running his thumb along the cheekbone, wiping away the tears. He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his jaw.

“I know.” Was all he could muster. Sokka pushed his own hair out of the way, shaking his head as Zuko’s earlier cries echoed in his head like a broken record.

“It’s not fair Zuko. None of it. And I-”

“I know.” Sokka shook his head again, another round of tears dripping off his cheeks.

“I just wish I could take it all away. All the pain.” Then Zuko smiled. Sokka’s whole world froze as Zuko propped himself up on his elbows and kissed him, a light frown tracing his lips.

“You can’t. We both know you can’t, but you said it yourself. We’ll be okay. We’ll be okay, and sometimes I don’t believe it, but right now I do.” Sokka nodded and kissed him again, trying to suck all the pain radiating from both of them and trying to put all the good emotions he could muster into the kiss, even if it killed him. He just wanted to see Zuko smile.

“Sleep Sokka. I won’t let go.”

**〜⛭〜**

Zuko pressed his face deeper into the warmth that surrounded him. He inhaled, taking in Sokka’s scent with him, although he realized his head was no longer on Sokka’s chest. Instead, as he came to his senses and sunlight bled through the windows lazily, he noticed that his face was pressed into Sokka’s pillow, limbs tangled in the mass of blankets kicked down to his hips and he was on stomach. The burns on his chest stung in protest to the position, but he ignored the feeling as he turned his head to catch sight of Sokka’s sleeping form, sprawled out on his back, mouth hanging open as he snored, his legs tangled underneath Zuko’s. One arm was thrown over Zuko’s stomach and the other was hanging off the edge of the bed, a pen hanging loosely between his fingers. Zuko squinted and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He reached over the bed and plucked the pen from his hand, clicking it a few times, and placed it on the bed side table. With a yawn, and admittedly great reluctance, he removed himself from Sokka’s hold and rolled off the side of the bed. He froze.

There was a piece of paper on the table, Zuko’s name scribbled over the front and curiously, Zuko flipped it around, half expecting it to be from Azula, although he wasn’t sure how she would have left it here, but found it was Sokka’s handwriting. It was a list. And it was eerily familiar to one he had made for himself, although his one painted him differently. He scrutinized the list, examining every word written on the crumpled paper.

_A List of the Ways Zuko is Amazing_

_-He’s kind_

_-He has golden eyes_

_-He’s understanding_

_-He’s really strong_

_-His love and patience for ducks_

_-No matter what, he always stands by my side._

_-The fact that through so much hate, he has such an abundance of love._

_-His amazing imagination and the ability to manifest it in a story_

_-His ability to make me smile_

_-His scar. It shows his strength_

_-He’s hot (But that’s just a bonus)_

_-He gives me hope._

_-He’s got a cute butt_

Zuko’s eyebrows furrowed at the last one, his face scrunching up with embarrassment, as he glanced up at Sokka’s sleeping form, who mumbled his sisters’ name in his dream state, before rolling his head to the side and settling. Zuko almost laughed, but the paper in his hands kept him in this foreign reality that someone actually cared enough to compile this list. The list should have been made up of all the things Zuko lacked, in all the ways he fucked up everyone's lives. He was fucking up Sokka’s life, taking away a peaceful summer, waking him up in the dead of night because of some stupid nightmare, eating his food, wearing his clothes… Zuko felt ill.

He didn’t have time to run though, because Sokka stirred, his eyes cracking open as he stared dreamily at Zuko.

“Mornin’.” He yawned, stretching his arms and pulling at the blankets until they covered his shoulders. “Come back to bed.” Sokka grumbled. Squeezing the light from outside out of his head.

“You don't have to-”

“I want you to.” Sokka whined, scooting over to make sure Zuko had enough room to crawl back into bed. Sokka blearily glanced up at him, his brain too foggy to remember the list he had made the night before. Zuko sighed, feeling his achy joints lull him back to the comfort and warmth of the mattress, however his stubbornness prevented him from moving.

“Cuudddle.” Sokka whined, leaving Zuko agape.

“What?”

“Cuddle meee.” Sokka slapped his hand down on the bedding once, before shoving his face into his pillow and letting out a long sigh. Zuko couldn’t contain a laugh this time, as he tossed the blanket and shifted underneath, lazily tossing an arm around Sokka’s torso. Sokka leaned in, putting all his weight into the dip of the mattress where Zuko laid, getting as close as possible, already slipping away into a semi-conscious state. He buried his head in Zuko’s chest, careful still of the wounds that healed, and slotted his legs in between Zuko’s. The list was completely forgotten to both of them.

“Sokka… what are you-” Sokka groaned back into some alertness, pressing a finger to Zuko’s lips.

“Noooo. Stop talking.” Zuko clamped his mouth shut, and he noticed, he hadn’t once flinched under Sokka’s touch, and currently every part of Sokka’s body was touching Zuko, but he didn’t much mind. Actually, Zuko’s whole body buzzed with electricity, apprehensive still, but mostly it was a thrill that coursed through him. He kissed the top of Sokka’s head, because that was a thing he could do. Maybe he wasn’t ready to do so in public, nor did he ever quite think he could, his whole body still tensed with shame at the thought, but here, in the safety of Sokka’s room, he could. He smiled and kissed Sokka’s head again. And again. And again until his lips touched the tip of his nose, but this time Sokka was wide awake, a dopey grin plastered to his face as he looked up and greeted Zuko’s golden eyes.

“Is this okay?” Zuko asked cautiously. Sokka’s smile widened.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Zuko let out a breathy chuckle before leaning down and pecking Sokka’s lips, light and brief, and completely dissatisfying, because Sokka grunted and lifted his chin to catch his lips again. “You promise to tell me if I ever push you, right?” Sokka whispered against his mouth. Zuko swallowed and nodded, closing his eyes and pressing their forehead together.

“Thank you.” Zuko responded, in a tone low enough for even Sokka to miss, but he didn’t and it made Sokka stiffen next to him. Sokka opened his eyes, pulling himself up to eye level with Zuko, and slid his arms around his torso. 

“Hey Zuko?” Sokka paused, chewing on his lip, as if formulating his sentences in his head. Zuko furrowed his brows, wondering what was so important that it actually made Sokka think before he spoke. “I know that no amount of love and kisses I give you will magically heal you, magically make the pain disappear, and get rid of the panic I still see in your eyes, but I will try my darndest to be there for the good, bad, and ugly days.” 

“You… You mean… After the summer ends-” Sokka lifted his head from the pillow, affronted.

“What do you mean when the summer ends? Do you think that when summer ends, I’m just gonna throw you out on the street and pretend that this never happened? Zuko, are you seriously that dense? Good luck getting rid of me!” Sokka sounded just the slightest bit angry, and it made Zuko’s eyes widen in panic for a moment, but he quickly settled the anxious boil in his chest, because it wasn’t anger at him. It was anger at the world that made him think this way. 

“...So what do we do, when summer ends?” Sokka didn’t hesitate to answer, clearly having a well thought out plan already.

“We go back to college. We can be roommates if you want! I’m getting an apartment with Suki and Toph. You could come too… if you want I mean.” Zuko pulled Sokka closer, a soft sigh escaping him.

“...Yeah. I think I’d like that.”

**〜⛭〜**

The pair didn’t emerge from their rooms until noon, to which Toph made a comment Sokka ignored, because it made the two of them blush furiously, which he supposed was the exact response she was hoping for.

“Good morning Sokka! Lord Zuko!”

“...Lord what?” Zuko shook his head, still drowsy, and glanced at the empty couch where he had set up a bed for Azula the night before. It looked the exact same as how he left it, she must’ve left not long after they went to bed. A part of Zuko was disappointed, hoping that maybe she could stay and ake this her new home, much like he begun to do. But a piece of knew that could never happen.

Aang shrugged his shoulders, rolling with the name as he unfolded himself from his yoga position on the floor. Suki was across from him, arms stretched out in the Warrior pose, eyes closed.

“Would you care to join our yoga session?” Sokka snorted and groggily rubbed his eyes, and headed towards the kitchen in search of coffee. Zuko shuffled his feet, shyly shaking his head.

“No thank you.” Aang shrugged, smiling brightly as he matched Suki’s position.

“Hey to celebrate the end of summer, we’re gonna have a big bonfire tonight! You should invite your sister!” Zuko’s jaw dropped, a thousand questions beginning to run through his head, more than a few he was tempted to voice, but Aang had already closed his eyes again, signaling that the conversation had come to an end. Zuko stuffed his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants -well, Sokka’s sweatpants- and hurried towards the kitchen, Sokka sitting at the table across from his sister, a mug clasped between his hands as he passionately argued about something.

“Commmeeee onnnn Katara!”

“No! I’m not giving up my surfboard, just so you and Zuko can go make-out in the middle of the ocean!”

“That’s not a practical make out place! Plus Zuko and I aren’t even-”

“Don’t give me that bullshit. You two totally kissed yesterday. You know how I know? You came in with that dopey-ass smile, and Zuko looked as if he was about to pass out, and now you two roll out of bed at noon, after I don’t even want to know what.” 

“Ugh Katara!” Zuko cleared his throat, and Sokka’s head snapped upward so fast, Zuko thought his neck broke. Katara glanced between them, eyebrows raised and offered Zuko a welcoming smile.

“Morning Zuko. I’m sorry that you have to endure my brother. I’ll be seeing myself out now and-” She paused turning back to Sokka with a glare. “It’s still a no.” sokka stuck his tongue out at her as she strode out of the room, leaving the pair in an awkward exchange. Sokka opened his mouth to say something, but Zuko shot him a glare and shook his head, before twisting on his heel, and storming out of the room.

Was Sokka really that ashamed of being with him? It wasn’t that Zuko could argue that point, he really wasn’t worth it, but what bothered him was that one minute Sokka was all for it, and the next he was defending as if nothing had happened between them. Zuko snarled a curse under his breath at the lie.

A lie. All of it…. Right? Why would Sokka deny it? If he was so ashamed of him, why did he drag him under the surface in the first place? An anger boiled inside of Zuko, enough to the point where he felt his skin heat up and he was convinced he might just burst into flame. But Zuko was only in Sokka’s room for a few seconds, glowering at the bed they were tangled in not 30 mins ago and crumpling the list Sokka had made between his clenched fist, when Sokka barged through the door.

“Okay, hold on! Before you go getting your panties all in a bunch-” Zuko whipped around, eyes narrowed as he snarled a quick response.

“Really?! Before I get angry? Sokka what the fuck!” He shouted the question, and he felt sort of bad that he probably interrupted Aang’s yoga out in the living room, but he white hot rage was already coursing through him. Sokka held up his hands in surrender, shaking his head.

“Zuko- I haven’t lied about anything. I’m not tricking you, and I’m not ashamed of us, I-” How had Sokka known exactly what he was thinking? It almost scared Zuko. No, no Sokka had lied. Everyone lied, because Zuko wasn't worth their time. Zuko shrunk back, thinking about the list he had compiled long ago. Everything held firm, it was all his fault this was happening. _He deserved to me lied to._ The thought was meant to make him less angry with Sokka, but it only riled him up more.

“How am I to believe this? I’ve been fed lies my entire life, how the hell am I supposed to know what to believe?” Zuko jabbed a finger at him, raining his other hand in the air, the crumpled list still in his fist. Sokka pointed at it.

“So you found it.” He said, tone changing. 

“Yeah. And I have a few questions.” Zuko snapped, his throat tight and chest heaving with weighted anger.

“I found the list you made. A while ago… that night I was drunk actually. And I hated it. I hated it like I’ve never hated anything before. So that’s how you know what’s true. That list was all lies, all the things that you _weren’t_ . The list I made, that one, that is exactly how I view you. Do what you want with that information, burn it for all I care, but if I ever see another list like the one _you made_ …” Sokka trailed off, choking on his words. Tears sprung to his eyes.

“I won’t listen to such lies. Not from you, not from anyone. So what I said to Katara was a lie, but that was because I didn’t know where you stood on this _thing_ between us, and I didn’t want to fuck it up. I didn’t want to tell people about whatever this is until those lies were out of your head. Because I wanted to make sure you to see yourself like I see you.” Zuko stopped breathing. His whole body felt like it was shutting down as he sat on the edge of the bed, running his hand through his hair. Slowly, he smoothed out the list, watery gaze running over the words scribbled on the page.

“Why? Why say any of this?”

“Because I couldn’t get that list out of my head, and I couldn’t imagine how engraved it was in yours, so I had to make a new one. One composed entirely of truth.” Sokka kneeled down in front of him, slowly bringing the piece of paper down. Zuko’s expression was knitted and tight, as if he couldn’t comprehend his words, like he couldn’t imagine a world where he could be any of the things on Sokka’s list. He looked up at Sokka, those dangerous ocean eyes, pulling him out to sea, but maybe… maybe the waves were carrying him home.

“... you think I have a cute butt?” Sokka cracked a grin, throwing his head back and laughing.

“Hell yeah I do.” With a reassuring nod, Sokka looped his arms around Zuko’s waist and pulled him to his feet. Sokka tentatively pressed his forehead to Zuko’s, trying to provide the stabilizing warmth that had been missing from both their lives.

“Hey Sokka?” Zuko whispered after a while, the two resting in the position for as long as their feet would let them. Sokka hummed in response. “You’ve got a cute butt too.” The smile on Sokka’s face widened, becoming the blinding sunlight.

“I know I do.” Zuko snorted and shook head, holding him closer.

“That’s really what you have to say?” Sokka nodded, leaned forward and kissed him lightly.

“It’s called confidence Zuko. You should try it sometime.”

**〜⛭〜**

Azula came back.

Maybe everything would be okay.

Maybe she could be okay. After practically forcing out of her that she had gone to Ty Lee’s to spend the night and that she was already building a whistleblower case against their father, Zuko felt himself relax. Only slightly, but still, it was progress. Azula had turned down the bonfire, also much to Zuko’s relief, especially by the way Suki and Azula glared at each other, arms crossed.

Getting on Suki’s bad side was the worst decision anyone could make… Although the same could be said for Azula. But then as quickly as she had appeared, claiming she had left her jacket at the house- which she did not- she _left_ , and Zuko wondered when he’d see her again.

He hoped she would be alright.

Azula’s story was not over. He determined this quickly, and he had a feeling despite the cold goodbye that left almost no remorse, no association of their blood relation, that she would be back. He hoped that when she came back, that maybe she wouldn’t look in the mirror and see a monster. He wanted her to be herself, to not see herself as a mistake. Of course he came to the conclusion that he viewed himself the same exact way, but he rolled it off as it being a different scenario. Everything about him was a mistake. But slowly, slowly he was beginning to learn that Sokka didn’t care what Zuko thought he was, because all that mattered was what Sokka thought.

He had a feeling it would be a long time before he looked in a mirror and saw anything more than a fuck-up. But for now, Sokka turned all the mirrors away from view.

**〜⛭〜**

The sun went down and suddenly Zuko was hidden by the night. There was nothing dangerous or scary about the darkness tonight as there was nothing but laughs to fill the atmosphere, Toph and her face full of marshmallows, Suki’s beach volleyball, and Aang’s outrageous stories as he held Katara close. Things were good. Things were really good.

The fire crackled before Zuko, but he wasn’t bothered by the flames, they kept him warm against the cool ocean breeze. He dug his toes into the sand, feeling the grains embed themselves in his skin, and found that he liked the way the sand covered his feet. The chair he sat in was comfortable too, and the s'more in his hand was messy, chocolate dripping down his thumb, but he smiled because if this was happiness, he never wanted to feel another thing.

“And that was the moment she realized, she fucked up.” Aang spoke in a dramatically deep voice, eyes narrow as he tried to tell a scary story, but would be interrupted by Katara’s giggling. Suki leaned back, resting her feet up on her volleyball as she did the sound effects for Aang’s story. 

“13!” Toph shrieked, although her words were barely understandable as she pumped her fist in the air, her cheeks stuffed with marshmallows.

“Aw Toph, I’m not done with my story!” Sokka took another marshmallow and stuffed it in Toph’s mouth making her gag but smile again, motioning for him to keep them coming. She managed to get 17 in before she spit them all out in a massive pile of half melted, coated in salvia mess, making Katara gag in disgust. Zuko just watched in amusement, carefully roasting a marshmallow on the fire, waiting for it to be the perfect golden brown, unlike Aang who was so impatient, he just lit his on fire, before hastily blowing them out.

Suki tossed another log into the fire, the flames bursting and popping as they grew and pierced the starry veil above them. The embers around the edge fluttered out of the pit and landed in the sand in darkened pieces, and it was incredibly peaceful to watch. Zuko inched closer to the fire, sticking his hands out to feel the warmth as he shook his head as Aang told his “spooky campfire stories.” Zuko scooted further forward, but a hand seized the hem of his shirt and tugged him back. Zuko turned to see Sokka leaning away from the pit, anxiously pulling Zuko away. He shot him a look, one that Zuko recognized in his own reflection.

Sokka stared at the flames as if they were hissing sinister things at him, belittling his worth, and roared of his greatest nightmares. He looked at the flames and suddenly he was not present on the beach. Suddenly he was in the cold winter air, the smoke cutting off his oxygen supply and the silent scream from inside the building making him dizzy. The moment flashed before him, and it made his stomach twist and coil like a boa constrictor and suddenly he was swaying in his seat. Then Zuko glanced at the fire, its peaceful dancing flames suddenly morphing into a monstrous figure and Zuko understood it.

He stood and stretched his arms over his head, pulling his feet from the sand and nodded at Katara.

“I think I’m gonna walk down the beach a little ways. Do you want to come Sokka?” Sokka practically flew out of his seat, averting his gaze from the flames and following Zuko’s footprints in the sand. Toph began spouting jokes, which made Zuko’s ear turn red and hot, but Karata shot her a glare and hushed ‘shhh’ as she understood the real purpose for Zuko’s excuse.

Sokka had been an escape for Zuko. Now, it was his turn to be Sokka’s escape. 

There was an immediate change in Sokka’s demeaner as he hurried away from the bonfire, the warm glow of the light no longer highlighting his features, instead the darkness of the night making his eyes stand out, and Zuko much preferred that.

The two began walking and it wasn’t until the gang’s voices were nothing but distant echoes of laughter, did Zuko find Sokka’s hand and squeeze it gently. They stopped near the water’s edge, masked by the night so that the group couldn’t see them any longer.

“Are you okay?” Zuko whispered over the gentle toss of waves. Sokka shook his head, jaw stiff and eyes unfocused.

“I-I-I… It’s fine. It should be fine. But I saw you le-lean f-f-forward… and-”

“You don’t need to explain yourself. You’ll never be over it. I know that. But it’s something you can deal with.” Sokka gulped, the pressure of his hand tightening, trying to ground himself against Zuko’s body warmth. It reminded him of the second time they met, in the dead of night on the beach, both of them broken and exhausted. They were still a bit broken and exhausted perhaps, but maybe that was okay. There was one noticeable difference of course, they were no longer looking at each other with cold glares that came from a negative first impression. 

“I can’t imagine… what her last-” He shuddered. “What was it like for her?” Zuko shook his head, not entirely sure how to answer the question. Sokka put his hand over his mouth shaking his head. Zuko’s hand cupped his face, unbelievably warm and it made him melt.

“I don’t know, Sokka. I don’t know.” Zuko pulled him gently over to where the tide kissed the shore, pulling until the water splashed soothingly over their feet. Zuko looked out across the darkened horizon, the sea of stars above them and the ocean peacefully at their side, reflecting the million twinkling fragments. Zuko connected the dots of stars to form constellations, as if they were the knots of a dreamcatcher, one to catch all the dreams he believed he was not allowed to have before. Sokka looked up too, but he looked at the sky differently. He looked up at the stars and saw pieces of the sun smiling down at him. A ship passed somewhere in the distance, quiet in the late night, but its faded silhouette was still noticeable as the only disruption of the perfectly straight line of earth and sky.

“The water isn’t so bad for me anymore. Maybe one day the fire won’t be so bad either.” Sokka nodded, leaning into Zuko’s side, leaning his head on his shoulder as they looked out over the ocean scene. The breeze tousled Zuko’s messy hair, and made a shiver run down his spine, so he leaned a little closer into Sokka’s warmth.

_But of course, volcanic soil always allows the growth of the most beautiful blossoms._

The thought was one he wasn't expecting, but Zuko smiled to himself, remembering the painting that Sokka had made with his words that night. Sokka had completed the piece, he had made it into something beautiful, as he seemed to do with all walks of life. It had been a sign from early on that it would take time no doubt, but that things would be okay.

They had come such a long way from that moment. And just like his story, he could feel the end draw nearer, but unlike his story, he had a gut feeling that there would be an after. There would be a sequel to his and Sokka’s story, because maybe he’d write it that way. Maybe he'd have Sokka do the illustrations, have him draw the front cover and put into image all things Zuko tried to describe with a pen. Maybe he'd even let Sokka read that story... some day.

But for now, Zuko tried to not think about the plotting and planning of his stories. He just wanted to focus on the stars and the way they danced in the pupils of Sokka's eyes, spinning and twirling freely in the galaxy.

Maybe Sokka could learn to treat the flame with less spite, less as a method of destruction and more of a symbol for life. Maybe he could learn to trust those warm flames. Zuko had learned to trust the tide, after all. Sokka wondered if he could do it. He then wondered what life with Zuko after the summer would be like. There would no doubt be less beaches, less hot summer sun, less ocean scent in the air. Sokka looked up at his deep amber eyes, darkened by the night sky, but holding the sun in place until dawn. Like a thousand dripping honey calcite crystals, Sokka wanted to look at those irises forever. Zuko glanced at him too, catching Sokka’s gaze with a subtle grin, because he too had stopped to look at the ocean eyes in which he fell far too easily for.

The boy with the ocean eyes. He almost laughed.

The boy with the ocean eyes had taught him how to capture the tide. 

“Hey.” Sokka whispered, a gentle smile on his lips. Zuko snapped out of his daze, squeezing his hand as Sokka turned towards him. 

“What?” 

“Teach me how to swing dance some more?” Sokka wrapped his arms around Zuko’s waist, slow and cautious and Zuko didn’t flinch.

Maybe things would be okay after all. Zuko’s eyebrows furrowed and Sokka laughed, raising his hand up to push Zuko’s overgrown hair from his face, fingers brushing against the scar. 

“Right now?” Zuko made a face, surveying the clumpy sand dunes, the darkness that made it hard to see their own feet, and of course the complete lack of music. Sokka smiled.

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! An epilogue is soon on its way and it will also answer some important things, as well as give you an important update on Azula. I told ya'll a redemption arch was coming. 
> 
> For all of you who totally didn't see the tax thing coming, it will make more sense in the epilogue, I promise. We might also get a zukka make-out scene in the epilogue but I make no promises yet.
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr with he same username!!! You can come scream about Avatar, Haikyuu, or MHA with me because these things are currently destroying my life. 
> 
> Until next time,  
> -Daisy


	12. To Capture the Tide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU READ THE EPILOGUE
> 
> First off, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE KUDOS AND WONDERFUL COMMENTS AND SUPPORT! This story started as a hobby, and it turned into a really big story!! I love avatar, and the characters, but this story really came into its own. I'm considering re-writing it as an original story with my own characters and world... who knows maybe I'll publish. But anyway, than you again for all the support and for understanding the long hiatus I took with the story in the fall as life got in the way. I hope everyone has a wonderful new year, and that you all stay healthy and safe.
> 
> Come visit me on tumblr! I'm DaisytheDoodleDog on there! I'm always happy to scream about fandoms!
> 
> \- just as an aside, I realized I didn't put it in here, but Azula's plan to expose her father for his tax evasion/fraud, as well as charges of child abuse are placed on Ozai and he was put in prison for a loooonnngggg time. Fuck you Ozai.
> 
> \- Another thing to mention. I ended up putting Suki and Azula together in this story. I don't ship them normally, but for some reason, they seemed to work in this story. The enemies to lovers concept works for them in the story, so I rolled with it. Plus guys can you imagine the sheer amount of power these badass women would hold together?? Just sayin.

**Epilogue- To Capture the Tide**

Sokka held his drink high as he navigated the club grounds, music blasting through eardrums, the bass sloshing the funky colored liquid over the rim of his cup. The lights swirled above him, making his sweat hair gleam different colors in the neon rays. He sang lazily with the music, and while he wasn’t totally wasted, he had a nice buzz going. He weaved through the crowd, bumping into other people as they danced, searching for a head of raven hair, but instead found a hand in his.

He grinned as he was pulled along, clumsily taking a large gulp of his drink as he was yanked to a slightly less crowded area of the club, where he could maybe hold a screaming conversation.

“You’re not supposed to be drinking on your meds!” Sokka hollered over the booming of the DJ’s music, but there was only a scoff in response.

“Oh fuck it! You said I needed to “let loose” did you not?” Sokka shrugged without a better argument to hold over the conversation and instead took another swig of whatever was in his drink. “I’m going to the bathroom. Watch my drink.” Sokka nodded, banging his head to the next song that roared through the club, keeping a close eye on the glass with the amber liquid swirling inside. He moved only a few feet from the cup, raising his own glass as he bounced to whatever song was being played, he wasn’t really sure. But it was easy to get lost in the busyness of it all, letting go of any stresses, allowing the alcohol to take control of his senses, and the strange odors to penetrate his nose. It was like time and space ceasing to exist in the best way possible.

Sokka turned around sliding a hand through his messy hair, but catching a glimpse of a tall, light haired man, sliding over to the spot with the glass of whiskey, slyly pulling a packet from his sleeve, a nearly translucent powder inside. Sokka narrowed his eyes as the man poured the powder in the drink and watched it dissolve as if it wasn’t there at all. Sokka pushed past a few people, approaching the man who quickly retained an innocent persona.

“Hey!” Sokka roared, abandoning his own drink. “Hey I saw that!” The man pretended not to hear him.

“Hey!” Sokka bellowed. “That’s my boyfriend’s sister, you piece of shit!” It was a split second that the man’s eyes widened before Sokka’s fist collided with his face and Azula emerged from the bathroom, smoothing down her black skirt. She watched in shock as Sokka pummeled the man, leaving him with a well deserved broken nose on the floor.

“Uhh, Sokka?” Azula elbowed him in the ribs.

“This asshole was going to-” Sokka motioned to the guy cursing and bleeding at his feet.

“Uh-huh. Well security is heading over.” Azula’s eyes flicked up to the burly men with dark blue t-shirts headed their direction.

“Fuck security.”

“Do you want to say that to their face?” Sokka flashed her a grin and grabbed her hand, maneuvering through the crowd with ease as they slipped out of the club entrance and out into the cold night’s air.

“He was trying to drug you!” Sokka gasped out, the bitter cold penetrating his lungs with a sting as he inhaled the fresh air.

“And then you said “not my boyfriend’s sister!”” She raised an eyebrow. 

“Well what was I supposed to say? Hey! That’s my ex-enemy but now kinda friend slash acquaintance who likes to get drunk with me because my hot boyfriend who happens to be her brother is at home writing his next best-selling novel?!” Azula grinned wickedly, but this smile no longer held the deadly poison meant to end dreams. Now it was mischievous and admittedly… fun. 

“You’re a moron.” She socked him in the shoulder, making him wince. “Don’t tell Zuzu I’ve been drinking. He’s such a baby about these things.” She kicked at a loose piece of concrete as they crossed the street.

“I won’t have to say anything. He’ll smell your rotten booze breath from his room and know right away.”

“Oh well in that case, I think I’ll have to mention how you were staring at the bartenders ass the entire time, you know, to distract from my  _ booze breath _ .”

“Hey! I did not look at the bartender! I’m loyal to my boyfriend's butt and his butt only!”

“A distraction is a distraction, Sokka. Truth or not.” Sokka growled and dragged his feet against the pavement.

“If Suki catches you with a hangover in the morning, she’s gonna kill you. You’re opening tomorrow right?”

“Yes, but I’m good at hiding a hangover. And anyway who shows up to a dojo at seven in the morning?”

“Oh Suki’s gonna beat your ass and I’ll be recording it.” He snickered, lazily tossing arm around her shoulders as the two stumbled and knocked into each other as they headed back to the apartment.

“Is it weird I’m dating your ex-girlfriend?” She slurred with a wicked laugh. Sokka narrowed his eyes.

“It it weird I’m fucking your brother?” She gagged and punched him in the gut.

…

Zuko sat hunched over at his desk, typing away at his keyboard, fingers smashing the keys as he tried to come up with something that didn’t sound like complete garbage. He was having a hard time.

“Hey you.” Sokka announced, as he practically kicked down their bedroom door, waltzing in, loud and dramatic- just like usual. Zuko hummed irritably in response, too immersed in his shotty writing job to give a proper response. Sokka peeked over his shoulder reading the words on the page. There were exactly three sentences.

“Rough day?” Zuko groaned.

“You have no idea.” Sokka spun Zuko’s chair around to face him, Sokka leaning over to cup Zuko’s face. Zuko flinched, making him pull away.

Zuko hadn’t flinched at a touch in a couple months. Zuko opened his mouth, an apology already rolling off his tongue, but Sokka shook his head.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, what can I do?” Zuko bit his lip. “Hey babe? I want to help, remember? Come to bed, it's late. We don’t have to sleep, we can just talk. About anything or nothing. I just want to be with you.” And Zuko just wanted to be with him, to bask in his presence and ocean-eyes still as vibrant as the day they met.

“What triggered it?” Sokka whispered, cautiously carding his fingers through Zuko’s hair.

“A show on tv.” He mumbled, ashamed.

“I’m right here Zuko. He can’t get you anymore.”

“I know. I just-”

“It just hits you sometimes. Like a tsunami... Can I touch you?” By now there weren’t any butterflies in either of their stomachs when that question was asked, and Zuko nodded, melting under Sokka’s warm embrace as he gathered him into his arms. Zuko nestled his head in Sokka’s chest, Sokka’s arms wrapping around him protectively.

“I love you. And I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“That I can’t take the pain away.”

“But you make it better. You make it easier, whether it's to guide me through it, or be my escape. You’re  _ comfort _ , Sokka. You’re home.” Zuko raised his head to meet Sokka’s eyes.  “You and your stupid ocean eyes.” Sokka let a breathy laugh escape.

“You and your stupidly perfect face.” Sokka leaned forward and kissed his temple, letting his lips linger like he had done a million times before. They were comfortable really.

Three years of being with someone does that.  They had been through a lot, initially, and with the aftermath, a long road of coping and trying to stomp out the fear that ruled them for too long. But maybe now, finally, they were at ease.

...

  
  


Sokka’s shoulder blades hit the wall with a sharp thud, but he really didn’t care, because then there were a pair of hands running down his sides and fingers pressing into the skin of his waist. He shuddered against the touch and grinned as a rush of Zuko’s hot breath hit his face. He barely had time to get air in as Zuko’s lips crashed against his, teeth clicking and hands roaming.

Sokka opened his mouth, running his tongue along the seam of Zuko’s lips until they parted and he slipped inside, exploring the feel of the inside of his mouth. Zuko braced himself with one hand on the wall and the other fitting with the curve of Sokka’s spine as he arched it, pressing their hips together. Sokka let a little gasp escape as his heart raced, not that this was the first time Zuko’s rather aggressive urgency had caught him completely off guard. Sokka only opened his eyes for a second to catch those sunset eyes glowing before him, and instead of the gentle cascade of gold filtering between the amber lines in the irises, it was a hunger that consumed him. Sokka grinned and tugged harshly on the collar of the Zuko’s dress shirt, hating that the fabric was still in between them. 

But here Sokka was, getting caught off guard again as Zuko pressed his other hand into his chest, shoving him further into the wall, slotting his leg in between Sokka’s and Sokka couldn’t contain his sigh, eyes squeezing shut as he fell victim to Zuko’s grasp, letting him take control. It wasn’t often Zuko got into these “moods” and he was about to take full advantage of it. Zuko’s mouth hit the spot under Sokka’s jaw that sent goosebumps trailing down his arms until there was a deep red mark to show for it and Sokka lifted his chin up, letting Zuko’s hands pull him up underneath his thighs and pin him to the wall. Sokka let out a laugh, wrapping his legs around Zuko’s waist, running his hands desperately though his hair and tugging back so that Zuko was forced to raise his head and Sokka caught his lips with his own, scraping his tongue against his teeth. It was Zuko’s turn to release a sigh as he stumbled back, still holding Sokka off the ground as he collapsed back on to the bed, allowing Sokka to straddle him and hastily tear at the buttons of his formal shirt.

“Really? The suit was expensive.” Zuko scoffed in between heavy kisses. And as attractive as Zuko was that evening in his suit, at Katara’s honor student graduation ceremony, Sokka preferred the thick lining of muscle and branch-like scars that fell across his abs.

“Don’t care. Better off.” Sokka spoke on his exhale, as he sat back to tug his own shirt over his head.

“What if Azula comes home?” Zuko whispered as Sokka’s hand ran down to his belt, Sokka grunting as he couldn’t get it off.

“She’s with Suki. I guarantee it.” Sokka spat out quickly, and Zuko pulled himself up, abs clenching at the motion as he kissed him and tugged on Sokka’s bottom lip, silencing his growl, and helping with the belt, ripping it from the belt loop and discarding it to the floor. Zuko reached back up and tore out Sokka’s hair tie, tangling his fingers through his hair, surging forward and grabbing Sokka’s hips, flipping him over. Sokka raised his eyebrows suggestively, a devilish grin cracking his face in two and Zuko rolled his eyes, pushing Sokka deeper into the mattress, hips grinding together. Sokka arched his back, nails scraping against his skin.

“You sure about this?” Zuko gasped. He always asked, no matter how much he knew the answer. Sokka smiled at him.

“Always.”

...

Sokka would admit that he was in love with Zuko. Actually that statement was modest, because as Katara would say, Sokka shouted it from the rooftops.

Yeah so he loved his boyfriend, sue him.

And somehow three years later was just as exciting, but maybe that was because he never got tired of Zuko’s golden eyes. Sokka ran his fingers up and down Zuko’s arm in a feather light touch, his eyelids heavy as the warm air filtered through the open window, the ocean scented candle flickering on the bedside table. Zuko squinted at his computer, a deep crease in his forehead as he typed away, Sokka watching lazily as the words flowed from his parted lips, silently mouthing the words, and onto the screen, creating an entire world. 

Sokka adjusted his head, pressing his cheek against Zuko’s shoulder, kicking his leg out as he got comfortable. Zuko cursed under his breath, aggressively hitting the backspace button.

“What’s another word for magical?”

“You in bed.” Sokka said without hesitation, a crooked smirk cracking his face in two.

“Ugh, you disgust me. I need a real word.” Sokka hummed as he thought, rereading the sentence Zuko had written down.

“Enchanting?” Sokka offered with a confident smile, but Zuko wrinkled his nose.

“No… ah, I know.” Zuko’s wild typing started up again, Sokka drifting off to the consistent sound, until he noticed it had stopped and Zuko was staring at him.

“What’s up?” Sokka whispered, turning his head and kissed zuko’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna delete the whole thing.” Sokka’s head snapped up.

“What, why?”

“It’s not real enough. I… It's not what I want.”

“Well what do you want?” Zuko bit his lip as he thought for a minute. He stared off towards the massive canvas hanging on the wall across from the bed. It was a beautiful portrait of the ocean, waves crashing against the shoreline, faint footprints disappearing as the water washed over the indents in the sand. There was a beautiful sunset hanging over the horizon, deep oranges meeting purple and near the corners of the canvas, a deep blue of a night sky could be seen. 

“I don’t know.”

“Well, figure it out later. It’s late and we gotta get up to set up Katara’s graduation party tomorrow.” Zuko scowled at the blank document page and nodded finally, closing the laptop and putting it on the floor next to the bed.

“Aang’s going to come by for a morning run at six.” Zuko whispered, tucking himself back under the blankets, turning to face Sokka. Sokka wrinkled his nose and buried his face in the pillows.

“Yuck! I’ve got a commission I gotta finish so I’ll happily pass. Gotta help pay bills till I get that promotion.” Zuko hummed, both of them knowing well that Zuko’s book was steadily bringing them income after hitting a best seller list, and becoming the most talked about book in Ba Sing Se. Sokka lazily tossed an arm over around Zuko’s torso, muttering something that was unintelligible. Zuko’s lips twitched into a smirk, as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s temple.

“I love you Sokka.” Zuko whispered, no longer afraid to say those words. He smiled to himself almost with pride with all that he had overcome. Sokka grunted, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Shhh! M’sleepy.” Sokka whined, although a smirk tugged on his lips, pressing his face into the Zuko’s collar bone. Zuko chuckled and closed his own eyes, content with drifting off to Sokka’s steady breathing.

“Love you too.” Sokka mumbled before he slipped away. 

Despite the drowsiness, and his body begging for a good night sleep, Zuko’s brain continued to race, comparing story ideas, plotting out the lives of characters that had yet to exist. But despite all that his brain came up with, Zuko hated all of it. Nothing held the emotion, the care that he wanted. None of the idea’s held a world Zuko wanted to get lost in. As he became more and more agitated with these thoughts, he grew restless, until he feared Sokka would wake, and wiggled out of his grasp to slide out of bed.

Zuko snatched his laptop from the floor and flopped down at the desk. The screen was a blinding white light in the darkness of the room as he switched it on, and he averted his direct stare from the light as his eyes adjusted, instead focusing on his surroundings. The desk held several scattered items that Zuko glanced at, each one holding a precious familiarity. Sokka’s sketchbooks and expensive Prisma Colored Pencils -the ones Sokka refused to let anyone touch- sat neatly to the side, a beautiful sketch of the ocean in the works. Next to the pencils, was the familiar pencil pouch, well used and overdue for a replacement, but neither of them seemed to be able to admit it. On the other of the laptop was a photo display of two boys with smiles plastered to their faces, young and free and ready for the start of their third summer together. Hanging off the side was a necklace with a moon shaped pendant, not a remnant of the past, but a reminder of the bright future it allowed them to have. Behind the laptop was a stack of books, mostly on engineering that bored Zuko to death, but on top of the stack was an old notebook, well used in its time, but not touched in ages. And on top of that, was a snow globe, a tiny surfer riding a wave on the inside. 

Zuko glanced behind him, the faint blue light from the laptop illuminating their room just enough to show the shadowed features of Sokka’s face, drool gathering at the corner of his mouth, hair sticking out at odd angles, and an obnoxious snore breaking the silence every few minutes. Zuko smiled, knowing he did nothing to deserve Sokka, but everyday he thanked the moon from him. Zuko brought his gaze back down to the screen. He cracked his knuckles and slouched over the keyboard, his tongue sticking out slightly as he began to type.

As he stared at the blank page, he decided the boy with ocean eyes story wasn’t finished, but as he thought about it, neither was the story of the boy with the messy hair and no hope. He wanted to write something new. Something  _ real _ . He punched the keyboard as he started a new story, one that he knew by heart. A story about how a boy trapped in the darkness, stumbled upon a boy with ocean eyes. He typed out the first book title that popped into his mind.

_ To Capture the Tide. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah that’s right, I brought out the make out scene. They are like 22 at this point so they are perfectly capable adults. I'm honestly really bad at writing smut, which is why I kinda dodged it a bit. Feel free to yell at me about it lol. 
> 
> So the question must be asked, did I actually write this or is this story actually Zuko’s story?? Hmm, the world may never know.
> 
> Anyway, this was just a cute little extra bonus, plus I absolutely love Sokka's and Azula's interactions.
> 
> Thank you so much again for reading! Until next time,
> 
> -Daisy

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Normally I won’t switch POV’s like that where I replay the scene from another character as that becomes mundane but I really just wanted to capture their first interaction as the foundation to this slow burn.
> 
> More tea is to come… oh and possible friendships? And yes, Suki is going to be joining us soon, because she’s an iconic queen and it would be a sin not to include her. Anyway, I love comments, if you have a second to write one, and until next time,
> 
> -Daisy


End file.
